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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Jan 6th 2013 new

[quote]Mary-583970 said:


I think it is probably a little dangerous, but not necessarily wrong, per se. I have had guy friends develop this emotional itimacy with me, and I had no idea they were doing so, I thought we were just really good friends, and then they tend to get physical which made me uncomfortable.


On the flip side, I became very emotionally intimate with my ex, and still am, we still talk ad do things together because we are good friends. He never had marriage in mind though, and was never physically attracted, so whereas he has the emotional intimacy as well, he only considers me a really good friend. I heard the term "flirtationship" recently and I think that's what it is- more than friendship, but not headed toward a relationship/marriage.


So, whereas they can be two sides of the same coin, I think they should be considered separatly as well. I have had physical intimacy with guys (not sex though!) and attraction between us, but no emotional intimacy- just as you can have emotional intimacy and no attraction...


I guess I am just (cough, choke) to old fashioned shhh and practical for that "flirtationship" stuff. The way see it, you've got choice A or B. scratchchin

A. He goes off an dates some girl and this friendship gets ditched at least temporarily therefore.... I get hurt.
B. I go off and date some guy and that guy does NOT like my having said "flirtationship"/friendship, and the friendship gets ditched, and.. I get hurt.


It's one thing to accidentally get hurt. But, it's totally another to go running towards the cliff, ya know? wide eyed I was born at night......but not last night. cool






Jan 6th 2013 new

(Quote) Celia-821539 said: (Quote) Mary-583970 said: I think it is probably a l...
(Quote) Celia-821539 said:

[quote]Mary-583970 said:


I think it is probably a little dangerous, but not necessarily wrong, per se. I have had guy friends develop this emotional itimacy with me, and I had no idea they were doing so, I thought we were just really good friends, and then they tend to get physical which made me uncomfortable.


On the flip side, I became very emotionally intimate with my ex, and still am, we still talk ad do things together because we are good friends. He never had marriage in mind though, and was never physically attracted, so whereas he has the emotional intimacy as well, he only considers me a really good friend. I heard the term "flirtationship" recently and I think that's what it is- more than friendship, but not headed toward a relationship/marriage.


So, whereas they can be two sides of the same coin, I think they should be considered separatly as well. I have had physical intimacy with guys (not sex though!) and attraction between us, but no emotional intimacy- just as you can have emotional intimacy and no attraction...


I guess I am just (cough, choke) to old fashioned and practical for that "flirtationship" stuff. The way see it, you've got choice A or B.

A. He goes off an dates some girl and this friendship gets ditched at least temporarily therefore.... I get hurt.
B. I go off and date some guy and that guy does NOT like my having said "flirtationship"/friendship, and the friendship gets ditched, and.. I get hurt.


It's one thing to accidentally get hurt. But, it's totally another to go running towards the cliff, ya know? I was born at night......but not last night.






--hide--


Well, in case A it has happened, and I've been hurt, but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and in all honesty, there's no way we'd work out unless he got more dating experience (I was his second girlfriend, and kiss, ever, the first one only lasted a couple months), further, if he doesn't want to be with me I can simply consider that a character flaw of his cool
In example B, well, what I am trying to maintain with him is more like a familial love, I really do feel as close to him as family, like we could be siblings almost. I can't just pretend that 90% of my happiest memories don't include him...when I get into a relationship, he will be happy for me, and I will devote all my extra time to the new relationship :) we have girl talk more than anything these days lol he tells me about girls and I tell him about guys eyebrow

I guess the answer is: it's really all in context and go as far as you're comfortable with.

Jan 6th 2013 new

As a guy, I have
been down this road. It has coasted me relationship, I am not the jealous type
that is the greatest tool that Satan has in his arsenal for use to use against
one another. I do agree once I get married all pass girl friends are on the do
not call list

Jan 6th 2013 new

Must we always discuss sex?? It gets really tiring. No good comes of it and such topics merely bring out the worst in many.

Let's find another topic, shall we?

Jan 6th 2013 new

(Quote) Donna-83441 said: People used to just date..Now they spend so much time and energy over analyzing every aspect of da...
(Quote) Donna-83441 said:

People used to just date..Now they spend so much time and energy over analyzing every aspect of dating before the first communication it's no wonder they don't have the time or energy to actually get out there and meet..

--hide--


whipping dead horses.


all of you - just shut up and date! you're here to get married, not to earn your spinster's certificate. sheesh!!

Jan 6th 2013 new
(Quote) Mary-583970 said: I think it is probably a little dangerous, but not necessarily wrong, per s...
(Quote) Mary-583970 said:






I think it is probably a little dangerous, but not necessarily wrong, per se. I have had guy friends develop this emotional itimacy with me, and I had no idea they were doing so, I thought we were just really good friends, and then they tend to get physical which made me uncomfortable.






On the flip side, I became very emotionally intimate with my ex, and still am, we still talk ad do things together because we are good friends. He never had marriage in mind though, and was never physically attracted, so whereas he has the emotional intimacy as well, he only considers me a really good friend. I heard the term "flirtationship" recently and I think that's what it is- more than friendship, but not headed toward a relationship/marriage.






So, whereas they can be two sides of the same coin, I think they should be considered separatly as well. I have had physical intimacy with guys (not sex though!) and attraction between us, but no emotional intimacy- just as you can have emotional intimacy and no attraction...

--hide--


I think we live in a world that rewards the good deed and leaves its opposite punished. But if two people feel that they can't part from each other, isn't appropriate that they start considering marriage?
Jan 6th 2013 new

(Quote) David-364112 said: Must we always discuss sex?? It gets really tiring. No good comes of it and such topics merely br...
(Quote) David-364112 said:

Must we always discuss sex?? It gets really tiring. No good comes of it and such topics merely bring out the worst in many.

Let's find another topic, shall we?

--hide--



We are actually not discussing sex. Go back and read the posts. They are all referring to the other part of a relationship - the emotional connection.

Jan 6th 2013 new

(Quote) Arturo-535613 said: I think we live in a world that rewards the good deed and leaves its opposite punished. But if ...
(Quote) Arturo-535613 said:

I think we live in a world that rewards the good deed and leaves its opposite punished. But if two people feel that they can't part from each other, isn't appropriate that they start considering marriage?
--hide--


I would think so. Which is why I thought marriage was in the picture for my ex and I, because he always said how I was his best friend, his future gf/wife (if there were to be any) would have to get used to me, that he had never been and could never imagine being as emotionally/spiritually/intimately close to anyone else....but he thinks I'm unattractive and specifically said he could not consider marriage unless I lost weight, and felt that none of that other stuff could make up for it.

So, yeah, you would think so, to consider marriage would be normal if you feel you can't part from them, but some people...-shrug- I guess are looking for a very specific kind of marriage, and if you feel there are things important to you that they can't provide then you have to accept thata they are not the one and keep them close. I also would not consider being with someone who made me gie up my friends, and I really respect my male friends who remain friends with their exes- assuming their exes are decent people, I think it shows maturity and tells me they're no longer insecure about their past.

Jan 6th 2013 new

(Quote) David-364112 said: whipping dead horses. all of you - just shut up and date! you're here...
(Quote) David-364112 said:


whipping dead horses.


all of you - just shut up and date! you're here to get married, not to earn your spinster's certificate. sheesh!!

--hide--



If you don't like the topic, you can simply not read it or post. I think we all have that option. I hope your day is going O.K. I am assuming maybe it was a rough day or something, otherwise, surely you would not use the phrase "shut up" to anyone here. I have never noticed you to say anything like that before, so I hope nothing is wrong.

Jan 6th 2013 new
Very interesting.... Reminds me of, "Men give love for sex. Women give sex for love." Of course I don't think all guys are like that, though! Otherwise I wouldn't be on here. Lol
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