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A place to learn, mingle, and share

Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jan 8th 2013 new

Thank you my lovely friend Miss Linda !

Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Joanna-615441 said: What? Middle age begins at 45?
(Quote) Joanna-615441 said:

What? Middle age begins at 45?
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Well, if the person lives until he/she is 90, then that's the middle age!

Jan 9th 2013 new
(Quote) Kristen-878108 said: Well, if the person lives until he/she is 90, then that's the middle age!
(Quote) Kristen-878108 said:




Well, if the person lives until he/she is 90, then that's the middle age!

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That's why i didn't reach my middle age yet laughing laughing laughing laughing
Jan 10th 2013 new

celia, if we have close male friends we have emotional intimacy with and we want more from the relationship than they do and they make it clear they are not interested/not ready/ whatever, we have noone to blame but ourselves for continuing on the friendship in the same vane.

people are lonely or commitment phobic due to past bad experiences etc so sometimes they don't want a commitment but they want the perks. it is up to us whether we buy into it or not

Jan 10th 2013 new
St. Francis de Sales talks about this in "Introduction to the Devout Life" with the chapters concerning friendship and "society and solitude". The whole book is available online. Just search for the chapters related to the topic. His advice was written for a woman who was already married.

"The highest grace does not lie in being without friendships, but in having no friendships which are not good, holy, and true."

I used to be so overly protective of emotional chastity that it killed fraternal communion and possible grace that I may have received through others in the Body of Christ. If I was not open to communication or communion to my first female catholic friend, I would not be a godfather today.

Practicing the virtues of prudence and temperance are important, but we also need to have fortitude and justice in our relationships with others.

Mixed Gender Friendships (with references to approved Church documents)

catholic-lifetime-reading-plan.blogspot.com

Either to seek or to shun society is a fault in one striving to lead a devout life in the world. To shun society implies indifference and contempt for one's neighbours; and to seek it savours of idleness and uselessness. We are told to love one's neighbour as one's self. In token that we love him, we must not avoid being with him, and the test of loving one's self is to be happy when alone. Think first on thyself, says Saint Bernard, and then on other men. So that, if nothing obliges you to mix in society either at home or abroad, retire within yourself, and hold converse with your own heart. But if friends come to you, or there is fitting cause for you to go forth into society, then, my child, by all means go, and meet your neighbour with a kindly glance and a kindly heart. - "Intro to the Devout Life: Society and Solitude" by Church Doctor and Gentleman St. Francis de Sales
Jan 10th 2013 new

I'm not sure I understand the extent of what you mean by emotional intimacy?

Also, saying that I am not certain that I agree that premarital emotional intimacy, or emotional intimacy period is wrong. We are social creatures and were created to be social creatures to love and be loved. And, to love I believe requires the ability to create strong emotional bonds with people.

I have a number of socially intimate relationships with men and women and I would not change it, nor did my husband ever feel threatened by my friendships. That being said, the emotional intimacy coupled with the sexual intimacy I shared with my husband were far beyond comparison with any other relationship I have had. And, I was always cognizant of both the unique character of our marital union and the dignity of my husband. I was also very aware of the complementarity of the relationship and both the strengths and weaknesses we each brought to the relationship.

We are called to be couple, family and community. I think the marital union is the pinnacle of the array of relationships we are called to enter and requires a unique type of exclusivity, but I do not believe that means we are therefore required to withhold the gift of our love and care and relationship from the other people brought into our lives.

Of course as with all the goods given to us it is possible to misuse them, sometimes intentionally and sometimes inadvertently, so we must of course examine our actions and our motives and measure them against their purpose. But, on the whole I think we are called to build community, to build the Kingdom of God and we cannot do that without reaching out and developing relationships and encountering others in love and communion.

And, of course I may completely misunderstand what you mean by emotional intimacy and then anything I've said may not make any sense at all. :-)

Jan 10th 2013 new

I'm not sure I understand the extent of what you mean by emotional intimacy?

Also, saying that I am not certain that I agree that premarital emotional intimacy, or emotional intimacy period is wrong. We are social creatures and were created to be social creatures to love and be loved. And, to love I believe requires the ability to create strong emotional bonds with people.

I have a number of socially intimate relationships with men and women and I would not change it, nor did my husband ever feel threatened by my friendships. That being said, the emotional intimacy coupled with the sexual intimacy I shared with my husband were far beyond comparison with any other relationship I have had. And, I was always cognizant of both the unique character of our marital union and the dignity of my husband. I was also very aware of the complementarity of the relationship and both the strengths and weaknesses we each brought to the relationship.

We are called to be couple, family and community. I think the marital union is the pinnacle of the array of relationships we are called to enter and requires a unique type of exclusivity, but I do not believe that means we are therefore required to withhold the gift of our love and care and relationship from the other people brought into our lives.

Of course as with all the goods given to us it is possible to misuse them, sometimes intentionally and sometimes inadvertently, so we must of course examine our actions and our motives and measure them against their purpose. But, on the whole I think we are called to build community, to build the Kingdom of God and we cannot do that without reaching out and developing relationships and encountering others in love and communion.

And, of course I may completely misunderstand what you mean by emotional intimacy and then anything I've said may not make any sense at all. :-)

Jan 10th 2013 new

sorry I didn't mean to post that twice. . .getting the hang of everything is moving more slowly than it should :-(.

Jan 10th 2013 new

(Quote) Donna-83441 said: People used to just date..Now they spend so much time and energy over analyzing every aspect of da...
(Quote) Donna-83441 said:

People used to just date..Now they spend so much time and energy over analyzing every aspect of dating before the first communication it's no wonder they don't have the time or energy to actually get out there and meet..

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Amen to that.

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