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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Mary-583970 said: I prefer lightly lit photos because my complexion is awful I developed cystic acne as an adult, an...
(Quote) Mary-583970 said:

I prefer lightly lit photos because my complexion is awful I developed cystic acne as an adult, and it was bad to the point that 3 different dermatologists said they couldn't do anything more for me, after I'd gone through 7 prescriptions in a 3 year period. While it's toned down a lot, it has left me very insecure about my face- I won't even stand to be stared at, or looked at from below, I hate it...so my favorite pics are usually brighter, or B+W, or shoot, even the out of focus ones usually look better

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Bit off topic here, but have you tried any of the dark spot correctors? I had cystic acne for about 8-10 years and after it cleared up I grabbed the Garnier Clinical Dark Spot Corrector and it cleared up a LOT of my scarring in about 4 months, using it twice a day. I had been on Differin, Benzaclin, and Triaz for years to clear it up and reduce the scarring associated with it, but they didn't really clear it up and didn't do anything for the scarring.

Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) David-364112 said: Huh??? So what? if you can't control yourself then don't look. Do NOT blame ...
(Quote) David-364112 said:


Huh??? So what? if you can't control yourself then don't look. Do NOT blame a woman because you think bare arms or shorts or even pants are immodest.


There was/is some creep on CM who sends messages to women whose profiles/scrapbooks contain photos HE finds immodest. One messaged me asking if this guy was for real. She felt terrible and violated. She did not renew her membership.


This fine masculine soul probably feels he's a paragon of catholic virtue and that he's doing God's work by performing a spiritual act of mercy. I think he's a voyeuristic creep who likes upsetting women.



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Well said! Thank you, David. clap

Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Livia-407406 said: Even though Robert wrote his comment as though it was directed at everyone, it's pretty clear...
(Quote) Livia-407406 said:

Even though Robert wrote his comment as though it was directed at everyone, it's pretty clearly directed at women. Am I the only one disturbed by how many men think it's okay to post a list of complaints and demands about what THEY want from women and how WE'RE expected to be worried about attracting THEM? This is the second thread of this nature I've seen in the past week.


Guys, it's up to you to impress us. Posting a list of whiney complaints and demands is not going to achieve that end, and it's not at all how a Catholic gentleman should act.

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Amen Sista! Is this perhaps one of the pitfalls of an online dating site? That subscribers start to view the persons on the site as a commodity that should be marketed properly in order to find a buyer rather than as PEOPLE? Certainly we all have room for improvement, and the feedback is appreciated. But it is important to remember that it is real people who post each profile on here (at least I hope so).

Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Livia-407406 said: Even though Robert wrote his comment as though it was directed at everyone, it's pretty clear...
(Quote) Livia-407406 said:

Even though Robert wrote his comment as though it was directed at everyone, it's pretty clearly directed at women. Am I the only one disturbed by how many men think it's okay to post a list of complaints and demands about what THEY want from women and how WE'RE expected to be worried about attracting THEM? This is the second thread of this nature I've seen in the past week.


Guys, it's up to you to impress us. Posting a list of whiney complaints and demands is not going to achieve that end, and it's not at all how a Catholic gentleman should act.

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It goes both ways. Livia. In fact, there are MANY more threads that whine and complain about the men on this site in an average week than there are towards women over any month.


Why do you think so many men have stopped participating in this fora? Most of us have more than grown tired of the same people who have been on this site years upon end constantly barking at us as to what we should and should not be doing. Then they complain to admin when we don't allow them to run us over like they do everyone else. Then they resort to slandering us in PMs to anyone and everyone they see us interacting with here in the fora.


Do you think we're stupid? We know exactly what goes on around here.


theheart

Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Kristen-878108 said: Amen Sista! Is this perhaps one of the pitfalls of an online dating site? That subscri...
(Quote) Kristen-878108 said:

Amen Sista! Is this perhaps one of the pitfalls of an online dating site? That subscribers start to view the persons on the site as a commodity that should be marketed properly in order to find a buyer rather than as PEOPLE? Certainly we all have room for improvement, and the feedback is appreciated. But it is important to remember that it is real people who post each profile on here (at least I hope so).

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I think you're spot on. People aren't things and no one on here is for sale. An individual wanting to present themselves in a better way and asking for advice is totally different from someone saying, "Here, this is how you can impress me. Get to work or you won't have the great reward of my attention towards you." Well, maybe we don't want that kind of attention in the first place?

Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Sherrie-702451 said: I was really stumped by the profile pics and soforth. I am a photographer but I am not very com...
(Quote) Sherrie-702451 said:

I was really stumped by the profile pics and soforth. I am a photographer but I am not very comfortable in front of the camera. I specialize in portraiture and so I am constantly looking at photographs of people....I see every little detail and fine line on my face and take too much time making it look "nice" and by the time I am finished it looks too artsy. I suppose that I am my own worst critic in that way...it isn't easy and I understand how people feel, as if they are on display...I hear it all of the time. My suggestion is that you ask someone you love to take your photo...a child or a very best friend; in that way you are already much more comfortable and your eyes will reflect that care and warmth. Just my two cents...

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Hi Sherrie, Your suggestions are excellent, especially having a close friend or relative take them- expressions will be more pleasant and relaxed. I've also commented with suggestions for better profile pictures, having retired a few years ago working many years in the photographic field. People need to know that when someone is scrolling their way through profile pictures, they aren't going to open the ones with opaque sunglasses, squinting into bright sun, washed out with flash-on-camera or in deep shadow. In photojournalism they call it visual impact- you want someone thumbing through the pages of a magazine to stop. Same thing here.

Again, your comments are very helpful and much needed!

Blessings, Pete

Jan 8th 2013 new

Wow, you know I have to agree with both sides on their points.

Gents need to have custody of the eyes for the sake of their own souls and in respect to the ladies. Unless they are parents, brothers, cousins, or really close friends to a lady who might be showing a little too much, he shouldn't say anything because it's not his place. Gents also shouldn't post the average shirtless-in-front-of-the-mirror facebook picture. I haven't seen many of those here, thank goodness, but guys also need to dress modestly.

Also for their own sake, ladies should protect themselves from the eyes of those who aren't gentleman and can't control their eyes. Most of what we look like should be left to the imagination (hopefully, no one is using their imagination inappropriately!) of everyone but our spouse.

We all have faults that we have to work on, and rather than pick on everyone, show kindness. We can't point out the splinter in our neighbor's when we have a beam in our own.

Please everyone, we're all Catholics and should show it in our acts. Make up and be friends. biggrin heart hug

God bless you,

rose Bernadette rose

Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Victor-544727 said: It goes both ways. Livia. In fact, there are MANY more threads that whine and compl...
(Quote) Victor-544727 said:


It goes both ways. Livia. In fact, there are MANY more threads that whine and complain about the men on this site in an average week than there are towards women over any month.


Why do you think so many men have stopped participating in this fora? Most of us have more than grown tired of the same people who have been on this site years upon end constantly barking at us as to what we should and should not be doing. Then they complain to admin when we don't allow them to run us over like they do everyone else. Then they resort to slandering us in PMs to anyone and everyone they see us interacting with here in the fora.


Do you think we're stupid? We know exactly what goes on around here.

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I'm not sure what you're referring to. Maybe you can give an example? In any case, please keep in mind that women, both online and in real life, are more vulnerable in dating situations than men. So a complaint from a woman might have more to do with personal safety and boundaries than one from a man. A complaint like this from a man just feels like an attack when we're already the more vulnerable party. This is why for centuries in Christian cultures men were expected to go out of their way to treat women with gentleness and even be careful about what things they discussed around them, much less the things they said to them directly. A young man who ran around "barking" at women about how they look would not have been tolerated.

Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Livia-407406 said: I think you're spot on. People aren't things and no one on here is ...
(Quote) Livia-407406 said:


I think you're spot on. People aren't things and no one on here is for sale. An individual wanting to present themselves in a better way and asking for advice is totally different from someone saying, "Here, this is how you can impress me. Get to work or you won't have the great reward of my attention towards you." Well, maybe we don't want that kind of attention in the first place?

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Amen, Livia. biggrin It reminds me of Princess Jasmine in the Disney movie, "Aladdin" when she said "I am not just some prize to be won!" She was a prize, of course, but one to be courted, cherished and loved, not just simply handed over because a man graced her with his presence. He's got to prove his worth, too. wink

Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Livia-407406 said: I'm not sure what you're referring to. Maybe you can give an exampl...
(Quote) Livia-407406 said:


I'm not sure what you're referring to. Maybe you can give an example? In any case, please keep in mind that women, both online and in real life, are more vulnerable in dating situations than men. So a complaint from a woman might have more to do with personal safety and boundaries than one from a man. A complaint like this from a man just feels like an attack when we're already the more vulnerable party. This is why for centuries in Christian cultures men were expected to go out of their way to treat women with gentleness and even be careful about what things they discussed around them, much less the things they said to them directly. A young man who ran around "barking" at women about how they look would not have been tolerated.

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One of the main problems with online discussions, is that we cannot hear the *tone* with which advice is given. I don't think that all suggestions are meant to be critisisms, so I try to give most people the benefit of the doubt, and really hope that all was said in the kindness of the poster's heart. heart

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