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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Bernadette-874299 said: Livia, I am not pointing fingers (if anything, I was pointing a finger at ...
(Quote) Bernadette-874299 said:

Livia, I am not pointing fingers (if anything, I was pointing a finger at myself ). I am just hoping that everyone will be amiable towards each other. It hurts me to see good, Catholic people (and people, in general) having an argument. I tend to be a natural sort of mediator in these circumstances, and my goal is to point out the good sides of everyone's position (because each is valid), not to take sides or again, point fingers.

You're bring up a good point, though. I have met men (thank goodness I wasn't in a relationship with them) who told me what make-up I should and should not wear (and no, they weren't family, either). I am very thankful you bring up these points as a sort of red flag to look out for, especially to those who haven't been in a relationship before, or for those who are not aware of the signs.

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Fair enough. I think we have probably have similar intentions...looking out for others...although we do it in different ways! biggrin

Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Livia-407406 said: Fair enough. I think we have probably have similar intentions...looking out...
(Quote) Livia-407406 said:


Fair enough. I think we have probably have similar intentions...looking out for others...although we do it in different ways!

--hide--

I'm always glad to find Kindred Spirits, Livia. biggrin

Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Peter-449116 said: Hi Sherrie, Your suggestions are excellent, especially having a close friend or relative take the...
(Quote) Peter-449116 said:

Hi Sherrie, Your suggestions are excellent, especially having a close friend or relative take them- expressions will be more pleasant and relaxed. I've also commented with suggestions for better profile pictures, having retired a few years ago working many years in the photographic field. People need to know that when someone is scrolling their way through profile pictures, they aren't going to open the ones with opaque sunglasses, squinting into bright sun, washed out with flash-on-camera or in deep shadow. In photojournalism they call it visual impact- you want someone thumbing through the pages of a magazine to stop. Same thing here.

Again, your comments are very helpful and much needed!

Blessings, Pete

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awwww....thank you Peter....very kind of you to say so. I just love what I have begun doing and would love to talk about this all day long. Photography isn't just point and shoot but then again..it is. A profile photo is something that one hopes will show your personality more than what you "look" like. Mine is intended to show that I am a little shy but a little sparkly too. I am an artist and I think that comes across as well. Everyone is unique and beautiful..that is what I try to bring out in a portrait. Everyone. Peter....it is true that on a site like this we all want that visual impacct but we want to bring out our personality just as best we can. Have the best evening sir!!!!!!

Jan 8th 2013 new

Yes, I realize my post was probably a bit too critical or heavily sarcastic. If anyone took offense I appologize. However, from the technics of photography the core points stand. I'm not demanding any girl follow these rules to get my or any other guy's attention, but I am suggesting them as ways to potentially improve. In fact most of the profile pictures are fine, but it was the repitition of a few themes that made me comment. No ill will towards the people, just trying to improve the shots. And yes, these were my comments after viewing women's profiles, well because I haven't been browsing the guys profiles but your comments from that side are welcome! We do need to work together at these things, both sides contributing.

Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Robert-864486 said: Yes, I realize my post was probably a bit too critical or heavily sarcastic. If anyone took offe...
(Quote) Robert-864486 said:

Yes, I realize my post was probably a bit too critical or heavily sarcastic. If anyone took offense I appologize. However, from the technics of photography the core points stand. I'm not demanding any girl follow these rules to get my or any other guy's attention, but I am suggesting them as ways to potentially improve. In fact most of the profile pictures are fine, but it was the repitition of a few themes that made me comment. No ill will towards the people, just trying to improve the shots. And yes, these were my comments after viewing women's profiles, well because I haven't been browsing the guys profiles but your comments from that side are welcome! We do need to work together at these things, both sides contributing.

--hide--


Thanks for clarifying. If I judged your tone a bit too quickly, then I apologize.

Jan 14th 2013 new

(Quote) Bernadette-874299 said: I have met men (thank goodness I wasn't in a relationship with them) who told me what make-up I...
(Quote) Bernadette-874299 said: I have met men (thank goodness I wasn't in a relationship with them) who told me what make-up I should and should not wear (and no, they weren't family, either). I am very thankful you bring up these points as a sort of red flag to look out for, especially to those who haven't been in a relationship before, or for those who are not aware of the signs.
--hide--


So wait, would a woman be considered controlling if say, she told some guy how he should grow/cut his hair? :)

Jan 14th 2013 new

(Quote) Robert-864486 said: Where do we start? I've noticed a few things about the profile pictures that I think I shoul...
(Quote) Robert-864486 said:

Where do we start? I've noticed a few things about the profile pictures that I think I should share. Granted some of these may seem minor but they become magnified in the importance of first impression. When you read this post, do so in a voice that is sarcastic on the outside, but weeping for humanity on the inside. I'm not mad, but I just figured i'd share these tid bits of wisdom for those who honestly haven't given this all a second thought; because if so, here's your chance to redeem yourself!


What we're going for in a profile picture is not necessarily anything fancy, just a good honest representation of what you look like, and maybe a small detail/quirk or two to set you apart.


Where I seem to see the most pictures go astray:


1. Lighting - Probably the most common and most annoying is a picture that is too bright. Having light skin is no shame, but when you look like a white-washed fence you're bound to cause a few to keep walking on down the sidewalk. If it looks like you're looking out the window of a spaceship that's falling into the sun , then that's probably an indication for how fast my intrest in you is burning up along with it. Really what's at stake here is the simple fact that I want to see what you look like, instead of having the frustrating feeling of trying to rescue you from a snowstorm. Your face starts to turn into splotches of white and hides all the beautiful detail that makes you unique from every other person on the planet.


The antinomy of this is the picture that is too dark. Not much to say here, just like there's not much to see [ got a light?]


The synthesis of the two previous problems into one is the black and white photo. I'm sure you've realized by now, but we've been using color pictures for half a century now. When you really think about it, using a black and white photo is only dectracting from the shot, it isn't adding anything. The profile picture is not the time to get fancy, do that in the other photos you add. The first one just has to be what you look like, so let's stop pretending to be all artsy (unless art/photography really is your job or major!)


2. Acceptable # of people in a profile picture all about you - Yep, you guessed it: ONE! Not two, not one and a half, just you, the open road, and a world full of dreams and possibilities ahead. If your face looks like it's glued to somebody elses, that's probably an indicator that your life is glued to somebody else's. Even more horrifying if that's only half of a person's head. Cropping a photo won't hide the fact that you can't find a SINGLE picture of just you. Without that individualITY, i'm not sure you're an individUAL. A picture of just you says that you've got some potential space for me in there.


3. Glasses - Maybe it's because you really are getting too close to the sun, or maybe it's just because you suffered a terrible accident that left you eyeless. They say that the eyes are the window to your soul, and you've just put up some serious sun block. Comming back down to earth, you probably just were too lazy or unmindful to find or take a photo of yourself without your trusty shades. Invest in yourself to get a good shot that really shows me the beauty underneath those bug-eyed sunglasses [unless you're an entomologist who studies insects]. So please put down the sun glasses and stop trying to block the sun from getting in and let the radiance of God shine OUTWARDS from your beautiful visage. (unless of course the glasses are glued to your face, and therefore i'm getting an accurate representation of what to expect for a lifetime )


4. Funny Faces - This one isn't quite as bad as the others, but i'm inclined to think that if you don't take yourself seriously enough, how am I supposed to? If you're just a goofy type, well that's great, but again there's a better time and place to show this (in your other photos). Just an even keel emotion or smiling face is all that's required to start off, if you look terrified or grumpy that's not going to send off a good vibe either. The profile picture is the quick first impression kind of glance, and all I need is the shape of your wonderful human face, not your puffer fish impression. [Unless of course you are a marine biologist, and study such things for a living].


5. Too revealing/exposing - I hate to have to get into this one, but if you're leaning all forward into the shot with a tank top on, that's not screaming modesty to me. Either you forgot that this was a Catholic site, or you don't fully understand what that means to be a woman of God. You've got to steal yourself away before I can steal you back, and make me think it's a steal and not a hand-out! (see the barbed wire? It says STAY OUT!)


Ok just for recap. What we want again is: head/upper-body shot with just you, proper lighting, and nothing on or near your face except a smile [or grin]

Good night, God bless, and stay classy my friends ;)

--hide--
Robert -- it's not necessarily what you said but how you said it. As a newcomer to the CM forums, you haven't become accustomed to successful, effective approaches here.

I think Victor summed it up quite well as far as your criticism is concerned. Not many here are great photographers, and many people struggle just to get one photo posted. Some people just don't have a number of recent pix from which to choose. They do the best they can with what they've got.

Without people having the opportunity of knowing your type of humor, your wording can be taken as harsh criticism rather than constructive.

To base an opinion strictly on a photo is self-defeating. You need to read a person's profile to gain some insight, rather than placing all of your eggs in one basket (a single photo).

Photos can be deceptive. There are occasional profile photos that indicate they were taken professionally -- hair, make-up, attire -- the whole 9 yards. In a sense, photos are merely superficial and don't reveal one's personality which is the essence of a successful relationship.

If you're interested enough to find out what a woman really looks like, ask her for a date so you can meet face-to-face. She can then see you at the same time.

Jan 14th 2013 new

What we're going for in a profile picture is not necessarily anything fancy, just a good honest representation of what you look like, and maybe a small detail/quirk or two to set you apart.

Thank you, Robert. I too, believe as you do. Thanks, for your humor and honesty. clap


Also, if I may add, gents should remove their hats (baseball caps, etc.). cowboy

Jan 14th 2013 new

(Quote) Joseph-392758 said: So wait, would a woman be considered controlling if say, she told some guy how he should...
(Quote) Joseph-392758 said:



So wait, would a woman be considered controlling if say, she told some guy how he should grow/cut his hair? :)

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Welcome to the forums Joseph.


Yes, women can be controlling and judgemental.

Humility and kindness is what we should be seeking from within ourselves - a photo can't truly capture the inner beauty of a person anyways.



Jan 14th 2013 new

(Quote) Joseph-392758 said: So wait, would a woman be considered controlling if say, she told some guy how he should...
(Quote) Joseph-392758 said:



So wait, would a woman be considered controlling if say, she told some guy how he should grow/cut his hair? :)

--hide--


Hi Joseph,

I think it would depend on how/why it was said. For example, if a woman said "Wow, you REALLY need to do ______ with your hair . . . it looks horrible!" then it may be seen as controlling laughing However, if a woman said to a man (generally speaking), "You should cut those bangs so I could see your beautiful eyes!", then I think it would be sweet and more of a compliment/conversation starter smile

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