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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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I feel like my question could unintentionally open up a general discussion on race and beauty, but I'll give it a shot anyway. I am a dark-skinned woman and most of the time I find myself attracted to white men. Most of the profiles I view are of white men. They generally seem to be a better match for me as it comes to depth, personality, interests, and involvement in the faith. But I've only ever gotten a serious response from dark-skinned men, most of whom seem rather dull.


To get to the point, my question is, I know (and I'm not just saying that) I'm a beautiful dark woman, but how realistic is it to expect a white man to seriously consider an interracial relationship? Please tell me that I'm crazy in thinking that, at least online, white men are looking for someone whose color will fit nicely in their family's picture? That their idea of a perfect match also matches their skin color.

I hate to be superficial, I really do, and I'm open to being challenged for it. God knows I need it! I know in my head that God's choice for me will be revealed when the right time comes and that when it does, color won't matter. But in my heart I still wonder if there's some truth to what I feel is happening...

Praying Praying for peace, patience, and purity for all of us tonight. God bless and thanks in advance for your answers!


Helpful biographical note: I have dated white men in real life (2 of 3 boyfriends), but I'm thinking online it's a different ballgame.

Jan 8th 2013 new

One of my friends is going through the same; she is African-American and really only attracted to white men. It causes grief for her because when we go out together she only ever gets attention from black men looking for a one-night stand, or otherwise approaching her in ways that make her very uncomfortable.

I think the difference is that in person social conduct (along with general friendliness) will have us interacting with people we may not initially be interested in, and you can kind of overlook what you might dislike about them and look for common interests to talk about, and really get to know each other from the inside out (we all know that feeling: grasping for straws in conversation- when it comes naturally with someone, you associate that ease with that person!) That makes it easier to see them as person you enjoy instead of just another face. Whereas online, we have no pressure to politely chat or want to get to know someone whom we can judge by their photo, and completely overlook them because, hey, we're here to get to the point, right? So make the effort worth it as you see fit.

Unfortunately, on-line dating I think is more subject to judging by appearance than IRL dating is...online, we can use our imagination and make someone seem better or worse than they really are, or otherwise conceive some notion about them we really have no idea about. In reality, we don't have that option and are confronted with making/observing an impression in the spot, in a very subjective manner (most of this, I am talking about subconcsciously, of course)

Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Katty-898923 said: I feel like my question could unintentionally open up a general discussion on race and beauty, bu...
(Quote) Katty-898923 said:

I feel like my question could unintentionally open up a general discussion on race and beauty, but I'll give it a shot anyway. I am a dark-skinned woman and most of the time I find myself attracted to white men. Most of the profiles I view are of white men. They generally seem to be a better match for me as it comes to depth, personality, interests, and involvement in the faith. But I've only ever gotten a serious response from dark-skinned men, most of whom seem rather dull.


To get to the point, my question is, I know (and I'm not just saying that) I'm a beautiful dark woman, but how realistic is it to expect a white man to seriously consider an interracial relationship? Please tell me that I'm crazy in thinking that, at least online, white men are looking for someone whose color will fit nicely in their family's picture? That their idea of a perfect match also matches their skin color.

I hate to be superficial, I really do, and I'm open to being challenged for it. God knows I need it! I know in my head that God's choice for me will be revealed when the right time comes and that when it does, color won't matter. But in my heart I still wonder if there's some truth to what I feel is happening...

Praying for peace, patience, and purity for all of us tonight. God bless and thanks in advance for your answers!


Helpful biographical note: I have dated white men in real life (2 of 3 boyfriends), but I'm thinking online it's a different ballgame.

--hide--


My nephew is seriously dating a dark skinned woman- (African American) and He is blonde and blue eyes and very much in love. If I find out more, I will let you know! I think it depends on where you meet. So much of our personality is not allowed or able to REALLY shine through online, so I do happen to know that he met her at work!

Jan 8th 2013 new

I think that while you may have a preference that you may be selling yourself short by discounting all others. I personally do not date outside of my faith but am open to all races and ethnicities as long as the love he Lord and are in communion with the Church. I think that to discount all black men is not a just stance as there are some very nice black men on here in your age range e.g. Kwaku.

My personal view is that I love men who love the Lord, are in communion with the Church and have hearts of service. I don't care what race you are. I was married to a white man and dated a Lebanese guy before but I chose them because I found them attrative at the time and something about them struck me. If you are attracted to certain features that is one thing but to discount all other races but one seems a bit lopsided.

So shout out to all the black, white, olive, tan Catholic brothers. The purple and blue ones can contact me too ( even though I have never met one of you). My only criteria is that they love the Lord, are in FULL communion with the Church and that they have a heart of service.

I of course have to find you attractive but I answer all messages and emotes as I figure the worst thing I could gain is a friend.

Don't limit yourselves ladies. There are good guys in EVERY race.

Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Shara-929649 said: I think that while you may have a preference that you may be selling yourself short by discountin...
(Quote) Shara-929649 said:

I think that while you may have a preference that you may be selling yourself short by discounting all others. I personally do not date outside of my faith but am open to all races and ethnicities as long as the love he Lord and are in communion with the Church. I think that to discount all black men is not a just stance as there are some very nice black men on here in your age range e.g. Kwaku.

My personal view is that I love men who love the Lord, are in communion with the Church and have hearts of service. I don't care what race you are. I was married to a white man and dated a Lebanese guy before but I chose them because I found them attrative at the time and something about them struck me. If you are attracted to certain features that is one thing but to discount all other races but one seems a bit lopsided.

So shout out to all the black, white, olive, tan Catholic brothers. The purple and blue ones can contact me too ( even though I have never met one of you). My only criteria is that they love the Lord, are in FULL communion with the Church and that they have a heart of service.

I of course have to find you attractive but I answer all messages and emotes as I figure the worst thing I could gain is a friend.

Don't limit yourselves ladies. There are good guys in EVERY race.

--hide--

Didn't mean to discount the green. You can contact me too. wink

Jan 8th 2013 new
(Quote) Shara-929649 said: I think that while you may have a preference that you may be selling yourself short by discounting all others. ...
(Quote) Shara-929649 said:

I think that while you may have a preference that you may be selling yourself short by discounting all others. I personally do not date outside of my faith but am open to all races and ethnicities as long as the love he Lord and are in communion with the Church. I think that to discount all black men is not a just stance as there are some very nice black men on here in your age range e.g. Kwaku.



My personal view is that I love men who love the Lord, are in communion with the Church and have hearts of service. I don't care what race you are. I was married to a white man and dated a Lebanese guy before but I chose them because I found them attrative at the time and something about them struck me. If you are attracted to certain features that is one thing but to discount all other races but one seems a bit lopsided.



So shout out to all the black, white, olive, tan Catholic brothers. The purple and blue ones can contact me too ( even though I have never met one of you). My only criteria is that they love the Lord, are in FULL communion with the Church and that they have a heart of service.



I of course have to find you attractive but I answer all messages and emotes as I figure the worst thing I could gain is a friend.





Don't limit yourselves ladies. There are good guys in EVERY race.

--hide--


Well said Shara....couldn' t have said it better. Thanks.
Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Katty-898923 said: I feel like my question could unintentionally open up a general discussion on race and beauty, bu...
(Quote) Katty-898923 said:

I feel like my question could unintentionally open up a general discussion on race and beauty, but I'll give it a shot anyway. I am a dark-skinned woman and most of the time I find myself attracted to white men. Most of the profiles I view are of white men. They generally seem to be a better match for me as it comes to depth, personality, interests, and involvement in the faith. But I've only ever gotten a serious response from dark-skinned men, most of whom seem rather dull.


To get to the point, my question is, I know (and I'm not just saying that) I'm a beautiful dark woman, but how realistic is it to expect a white man to seriously consider an interracial relationship? Please tell me that I'm crazy in thinking that, at least online, white men are looking for someone whose color will fit nicely in their family's picture? That their idea of a perfect match also matches their skin color.

I hate to be superficial, I really do, and I'm open to being challenged for it. God knows I need it! I know in my head that God's choice for me will be revealed when the right time comes and that when it does, color won't matter. But in my heart I still wonder if there's some truth to what I feel is happening...

Praying for peace, patience, and purity for all of us tonight. God bless and thanks in advance for your answers!


Helpful biographical note: I have dated white men in real life (2 of 3 boyfriends), but I'm thinking online it's a different ballgame.

--hide--



Hi Katty,


I normally date Hispanic or African American women and many of them I've meet online. I can say I'm personally drawn to more dark skinned women then light, but it's really more about the person in the end, all women are beautiful in there own way to me. I did send a message to an Asian women a few weeks ago and she politely messaged me back and say that she was normally only attracted to Asian men. So, it can differently so both ways.


With regaurds to dating on CM, do have CM friends that have dating inter-racially/inter-culturally, including myself, so it does happen, but I think from reading the forums there are a lot of very socially conservative people on here and that does not always mix well if interracial dating. That's not necessarily a bad thing if it's truly about connecting with a person. I personally don't think interracial dating is for everyone, so a no reply is not necessarily a bad thing, as I like to day don't worry about the one's that don't reply worry about the ones that do ;)

Jan 8th 2013 new

Katty - any guy in his right mind would be flattered by your attentions. Don't get discouraged. Follow your heart.

Jan 8th 2013 new
It might not be my thing personally, but I think the real issue has nothing to do with skin color. This depends on whether or not the two people can bridge their cultural differences. I developed this feeling after a series of abortive attempts to date Middle Eastern women.

But on the plus side, my uncle has been happily married to a Japanese woman for 30 years.
Jan 8th 2013 new

(Quote) John-220051 said: I developed this feeling after a series of abortive attempts to date Middle Eastern women.
(Quote) John-220051 said:


I developed this feeling after a series of abortive attempts to date Middle Eastern women.

--hide--


And how well did their parents react to that??


wink

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