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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

01/08/2013 new

Richard, we all are given a certain set of tools by God and it is up to us to use them. I can guarantee you that each and every one of us have one very special tool. It might be a talent for tossing a basket ball or the voice of an angel. What's your special tool? Also, maintainace of the tool kit is an essential part many of us tends to forget. Treat your body as the Lords temple and you will shine with His light. How could any good Catholic single woman stand a chance against that? ;)

01/08/2013 new
(Quote) Richard-15378 said: C'mon now, ladies, be honest, what say you? Do those of us who don't have "the look" have ev...
(Quote) Richard-15378 said:

C'mon now, ladies, be honest, what say you? Do those of us who don't have "the look" have even the remotest chance of getting some interest from you? Are we forever doomed because of genetics to be left on the sidelines of romantic life??? ... Can our charming personality and simple all -around goodness make up for what we lack externally? ... Or, is it that no matter how hard we try and no matter how nice we are (courteous, considerate, funny, Christian, etc, etc, etc), we will never make be able to overcome our obvious physical deficiences??? ... Again, be honest, we can take it ....or at least I think we can (smile) ...

Guys, if you too want to share your thoughts, feel free ...

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No. I can not be with someone I do not find attractive- to me. The man has to be attractive IN MY EYES. Realistically, I can not kiss, let alone think about being intimate, with a man I don't find attractive. But...

That's not to say a man has to be attractive by society norms and standards. I've dated men of all physical qualities- thin and very heavy, with full hair and bald men, tall or short, with glasses and without. I've dated men that friends thought were handsome and those who my friends did not commented on (I know what that means).

Attraction, of course, is relative. I actually am NOT attracted to men who are deemed to be very handsome. I don't like the arrogance that comes with it. Yeah, I love looking at eye candy, but I wouldn't want to be with one. I know that might sound strange.
01/08/2013 new

(Quote) Marian-83994 said: I am going to try to be honest at the risk of upsetting someone: :crying;Get to the gym a...
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:

I am going to try to be honest at the risk of upsetting someone: :crying;

Get to the gym and show that you are taking care of yourself. Be cognisant about how attraction has to go both ways. If you find yourself attracted only to slim or certian shaped women, than it stands to reason that men should also find ways to banish the extra weight in the gut and jowls the same way you expect a women to do. It goes both ways. I hope I have not made anyone exceedingly upset by my most honest comments. These are issues we all deal with because we are all aging. It is a fact.

Allow me to explain more. I think women can be tolerant of some of the aging in men if they see effot being made. If the man agrees to walk with her regularly and diet together, if the couple can work together on this- there is GREAT chance for lots of attraction. Women respond to emotional connection and then maybe physiucal. But if a guy is not doing any maintenance it is hard to imagine getting close. Do something is what i say.

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I'll get back to my diet and workout asap laughing! I know I'm out of shape last time I checked ashamed.

01/08/2013 new
Heh. I have trouble because I look too young and am too thin (I'm a distance runner, so not a wimp, just small.)
01/08/2013 new

About 5 years ago when I lived in Columbus, Ohio I was on Match.com and met a very nice guy. Most women would call him chubby or overweight. He had a nice smile, but that is about it or so my co-workers said. I didn't care. We had a lot in common. He was Catholic, practicing, seemed liked a good person. In truth, I was pre-occupied with something else going on in my life and we did not click at first. He would not have made the cover of GQ, turned any heads, or set the tongues wagging as he walked by but..... I called him back, which I never do. I told him, I didn't think that I gave him a chance when we went out those couple of times. He asked me, "Why did you call me?" and I answered truthfully, because I am attracted to you as a person and I was really preoccupied when we saw each other before.

We went out a couple of more times. Even though we had a great deal in common, "I" found him attractive and he was Catholic, I discovered his morals were not the best. And that was the end of our relationship.

But I would say yes. I think personally, "I" have to find something I find attractive about someone. But in general it is the personality and the way a man treats me, other people, his family and practices his faith is most important to me. I have said this over and over...... the better a man is on the inside, the better he looks on the outside. And honestly, if I have feelings for a man, no matter what he looks like, no one could look better.

But I wonder, knowing men are very visual, if the question was turned around, do physically unattractive women have a chance with you?

01/08/2013 new
Richard,

Physically attractive men get our attention, but at the same time if their personality is not pleasant, that's a big turn off and turn away. I have not heard this on this site, but the older people around me say that the woman falls in love through her ears. Men fall in love through their eyes. It means, that women fall for men who are charming, pleasant, makes us feel good. Men fall in love by looking at the physical beauty of the woman.

Then again, we have an expression that colors were invented for the different likes and taste of people. Different people like different colors. Different people find attractiveness different.
01/08/2013 new

(Quote) Carolyn-896104 said: About 5 years ago when I lived in Columbus, Ohio I was on Match.com and met a very nice guy. Mo...
(Quote) Carolyn-896104 said:

About 5 years ago when I lived in Columbus, Ohio I was on Match.com and met a very nice guy. Most women would call him chubby or overweight. He had a nice smile, but that is about it or so my co-workers said. I didn't care. We had a lot in common. He was Catholic, practicing, seemed liked a good person. In truth, I was pre-occupied with something else going on in my life and we did not click at first. He would not have made the cover of GQ, turned any heads, or set the tongues wagging as he walked by but..... I called him back, which I never do. I told him, I didn't think that I gave him a chance when we went out those couple of times. He asked me, "Why did you call me?" and I answered truthfully, because I am attracted to you as a person and I was really preoccupied when we saw each other before.

We went out a couple of more times. Even though we had a great deal in common, "I" found him attractive and he was Catholic, I discovered his morals were not the best. And that was the end of our relationship.

But I would say yes. I think personally, "I" have to find something I find attractive about someone. But in general it is the personality and the way a man treats me, other people, his family and practices his faith is most important to me. I have said this over and over...... the better a man is on the inside, the better he looks on the outside. And honestly, if I have feelings for a man, no matter what he looks like, no one could look better.

But I wonder, knowing men are very visual, if the question was turned around, do physically unattractive women have a chance with you?

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No at first when all I got to work with are pictures and words. When I'm in a public place I might find the woman I'm looking at unattractive because I already judged her based on her physical body without even saying a word. It's bias on my part but getting to her might make a big difference on how I find her attractive as a person. I believe a person's personality has a chance to make a person physical attributes more attractive. However, there are certain physical attributes that are for sure considered for me before I can find myself physically attractive to her. Some men prefer women who weighs more and some men prefer women that weighs less or the same weight range. I will not reveal all of my preferences on what I find physically attractive on a woman wink. It would destroy the essence of mystery laughing. Maybe I'll say them when her and I have formed a relationship and she is curious about what physical attributes I found attractive on her.

So, a woman must be in the same level of genuine attraction with me meaning being honest with each other. My goal now is to stop asking such questions as "why did you choose me?" because that shows no trust on the other person. Plus, the person asking such question needs to work on whatever insecurities they might have before being in a relationship. I've found it unattractive for her or I when the mind is spending too much time on what makes them attractive. I'm just going to go with what I find attractive about her and live a healthy relationship.

Every woman is beautiful in my mind but I need to be honest with myself of what I find attractive on a woman. I've stopped buying on the idea of what the media most of the time shows the public that's considered attractive.


P.S. Many guys might consider her "HOT" but I find her personality unattractive then a smart move would be to only stay friends with her. However, she could be using her unattractive personality to defend herself from guys who only goes after her physical body!

01/08/2013 new

(Quote) Donna-871766 said: Surprisingly yes. I recently got to know someone, as a friend, whom I was not physically attracte...
(Quote) Donna-871766 said:

Surprisingly yes. I recently got to know someone, as a friend, whom I was not physically attracted to at all. The more I got to know him and see his kind and loving heart the more I entertained the idea of being more than friends. Then this past Sunday, when I was leaving church, I was involved in a bad accident. While waiting for the police to arrive he had text me to say good morning and I told him what had happened and he was there in 15 min - without even asking him to be. I saw a kind an nurturing side to him that was very enduring. I think we need to learn to love with our eyes closed and our hearts open.

Love is not reserved for only the beautiful people. If I want you to accept me for who I am, with all my flaws, then I need to accept you in the same fashion. Remember - God did not make any JUNK.

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Now THAT's a nice story, Donna ...except for the part about being in an accident ... Hope you are doing well ... You do have closed eyes, a very open heart!

01/08/2013 new

(Quote) Maricela-876143 said: I've never not dated a man because he was overweight or not physically attractive. I'm...
(Quote) Maricela-876143 said:

I've never not dated a man because he was overweight or not physically attractive. I'm no Barbie myself. I think attraction between two people is based on much more than physical attractiveness: shared values, faith, interests, and outlook on life to name a few.

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Those are some nice sentiments, Maricela ...

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