Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.
Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael
I'm no longer a believer in opposites attract. (used to be for a period of over 30 years!....or thought so) I think areas of commonality help build a stronger bond between the two. Doing things together....having similar interests in entertainment, food friends etc. Most of all, SHARING the same Faith is HUGE!
Having said that...I think ALL of us are unique by God's design and there are OBVIOUS differences with "core personality" being one of them.
Same holds true for say....my MALE friends. If they had completely different interests than me.....we wouldn't be hanging out as much! (though my good friend "C" could care less about football...but loves pool!)
All of this IMHO of course.......
sometimes similar natures do better and other times opposites do attract. depends on the individuals and the circumstances wshich bring them together. all i can say is that i was very pleasantly surprised.
I met a guy on here whose personality was strongly choleric like me. Though I ended things for other reasons, I realized we were TOO alike. The do's and don't's on here for relating to each other were the same. How weird. People have commented that I'd be better off with someone who was more laid back and passive in some aspects. It did get me thinking. What personality would compliment you? Would you rather someone be similar to you, or would that make you clash with each other?
I've dated people with varying personality types. What I've seen is that it's not their "type" that determined our success, but rather, their self-development and commitment to their faith. The three men I dated did not work out because of "deal-breaker" reasons (e.g. not letting me raise the hypothetical children Catholic), not personality reasons. Regarding the personality test, I get a different result every time I take it. I try not to place too much value on it because I've read recently about a fifth type being used for people like me who don't fit any of the four traditional types. You might miss out on a great person because they got the wrong result for their personality. Bottom line, I think it's essential to get to know the person first before discounting them based on a personality test result. For instance, there might be a melancholy out there who is a happy version of melancholy - I actually met one of these last year.
I have found that if I am corresponding with someone who is heavily Phlegmatic I get frustrated with the same things I know are my own weaknesses.. Like the tendency to let others walk all over me so as to avoid confrontation. (I've outgrown some of that because I've had to). While I fear the 'control freak' tendencies of a Choleric, my experience has been they draw me out of myself. I would think that two Cholerics in the same house would be too much 'drive'..
I think areas of commonality help build a stronger bond between the two. Same holds true for say....my MALE friends. If they had completely different interests than me.....we wouldn't be hanging out as much! (though my good friend "C" could care less about football...but loves pool!)
All of this IMHO of course.......
Absolutely correct Jerry.. it's everyday common sense. If we look at those who we hold close and enjoy spending the most time with, most people have developed circles of friends with who they share common interests or a passion with such as; Art, Movies, shopping, Sports, Theater, volunteering, and yes even our Core Values.. and many other things. A correctly matched Spouse is that same friendship but inflamed with the passion of holy Matrimony.
If you are heavily Choleric, Tara, you probably won't get along well with another Choleric unless they have a strong secondary temperament. There are certain temperatments that do not work well together, such as Phlegmatic-phlegmatic (they are both push overs and don't get anything done...like at all). We all have different weaknesses: Phlegmatics to laziness, Sanguines to sensuality, Melancholics to despair/criticism, and Cholerics to pride. If a couple share the same weakness, it may be good for understanding (some of us just cannot understand how a different temperament could be so weak in a certain way!), but it may also be a negative thing for their salvation if they do not encourage change.
However, that said, remember that though most people are primarily one or two temperaments, most of us have traits of all the others as well. For example, I'm primarily Phlegmatic with a heavy dose of Sanguine and hefty sprinkle of Melancholic...and I can act like a Choleric when the situation demands...but only then.
Note also that Christ is supposed to be the perfection of all the temperaments, and as one becomes holier it becomes much more difficult to tell which they are. For example, I know a patient, mild-mannered, soft spoken mother of 4 whom I would never have guessed to be Choleric simply because these are not traits one usually finds in such a person. However, as a wife, mother, and a Catholic woman, she has grown in her weaknesses so that more of herself is obscured and Christ shines through.