Mary, I feel so for your current situation and wish to offer hugs because you are hurting so and I feel a need to offer some physical acceptance of your pain.
But most of the wish to comfort is because you are trying.
I so remember when I was quite young, say, 10, I was given the gift of watching my nephew learn to walk. OH what fun! He so wanted to walk! Mark would take off from a supporting structure and laugh and toddle and fall down. Repeating the process of getting up laughing and toddling and falling down until he got it right. Each effort took him a little further. He became a little stronger after each effort. I can still hear the his laughs 50 years later and feel the love and support of the others in the room for him as he learned to walk and get up, with everyone laughing all the way.
We are with you and offer prayers and maybe laugh a little, for we have all been and we all continue to be in in some variant of that place today.
I snuck a look at your profile. You have a lot going for you. You have had some wonderful experiences. Your photographs show you are seeing and feeling the life you have been given. The images are very nice. What else can I say Mary but get up - laugh - learn and get going as best you can.