I'll raise my hand and say I hate where I am in life, everything seems wrong and there's no answer for it, like it will never get better, like every decision leading me here has been the wrong one, and nothing can make it better; especially not until I have someone to love intimately. I might have fun here and there, but I always come home to the same, empty, cold, lonely, house (not for long, I'm being foreclosed....) and face the same depression and frustration.
BUT!! I'm positive around my friends, because they give me life outside of my problems. Just this week my friends took me to the pub for a girls' night and a movie-night/slumber party. Tonight another friend took me to Build-a-Bear with her kids, and bought me a $40 gift card because she knew I'd always wanted to do one (I made the cutest thing!) then treated me to dinner. Tomorrow I'm going to breakfast with some old coworkers, and then to the farmer's market with a girlfriend's fiance, then I'm going to a big Catholic dance party near DC. I also have my family I'm grateful for, I rely on them a lot for company during the week (I'm unemployed). And I'm grateful for my dog. That might sound silly, but she's always here for me. I rescued her and it's like she knows. When I leave the room she sits and and stares at the door until I'm back, even an hour later. When I come home, she gallops through the house and whines in excitement and pummels me with all 70lbs of her while giving me kisses. Even if I was only gone for 15 minutes. She's an old girl, too, but she will struggle up on my bed when I'm lonely and cuddle with me (I don't encourage her on furniture, buttt....I don't push her off it :) )
I believe: God doesn't give you more than you can handle, and this is all just a pitstop anyway- on esp bad nights, I might wish for Heaven to open up for me, and just let me in already, but I know I have too many things to do still, and if there's a chance that my life might be a blessing in somebody else's: it makes it all worth it :)))) That's how I try to live: for others, for my friends, my family, my dog. To serve, to love, and to be loved.
Has anyone spoke to Mary lately? Mary, Mary. Where are you????? We miss you.