What are the reasons that it WOULD work out?
(Quote) Frank-901618 said: Thank you for all your contributions!Pat, I do know the challenges - in Europe we are often warned abou...
(Quote) Frank-901618 said:
Thank you for all your contributions!
Pat, I do know the challenges - in Europe we are often warned about the 'taking false benefit'-side in these relationships. However in the particular thing I am very lucky (rather, I feel God is providing), that those dates are living or will be living in Europe temporarily. So there is more time to get to know each other - and even though the distance may still be great, there's less difficulty with timedifference on Skype, for example.
I am looking near me but it seems in my country it is so difficult to be a catholic (or even tend to the natural way of things in romance, if you get what I mean - promiscuity or relativism on lots of different levels). What might comfort as well is that in seminary I had a lot of classmates from Latin America, and a lot of my catholic Dutch friends also have 'international' relationship.
I took special attention to your warnings about 'the loneliness of the person who is leaving her/his country', and 'the family reaction'. I have noticed with my previous date that she was very comfortable in her own country so then rationed that she would not want to leave that, and was forced to wonder if I could give my country up as well. So thanks for pointing that out to me again, it's an important consideration of course.
Which leads to my actual question: What are the reasons that it WOULD work out? Just because of all the challenges people name, there should be a thing which overcomes all the doubt. I feel it's love and the attraction to a 'certain kind' of lady, but is that the only thing? What do you all think about that?
1) Discerning that the relationship is really what God wills for both of you is the one important reason to make it work...(constant and persevering prayer is crucial to the discernment process.)
2) Then the courage and willingness to sacrifice considering the distance...Constant communication will save the day in this regard and Skype is a wonderful tool! (Skype worked for me except in one.)
3) Honesty and sincerity about how each one truly feels and the willingness to affirm it in words often would do a lot to prevent confusion and possible wrong perceptions.
4) The willingness to forgive the other person when mistakes are committed AND the ability to "bounce" back to normal, giving another chance to the other person. After all, nobody is perfect.
5) Praying for and with each other...God's grace and the inspirations obtained in prayer will always keep any couple "in step" with God's Will for them.
6) Doing and giving your best to the relationship at each moment, even with the limitations of distance, will always keep both your mind and heart at peace.
One last thought: Successful relationships don't just happen; it entails work from BOTH parties.