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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jan 13th 2013 new

(Quote) Peter-933860 said: I'm sorry Pat! Even though I re-read your post three times I still managed to misint...
(Quote) Peter-933860 said:

I'm sorry Pat! Even though I re-read your post three times I still managed to misinterpret you. I'll go stand in the corner wearing the silly hat for a while.

--hide--

LOL Peter. You are always having to put yourself in the corner. laughing laughing laughing laughing

Jan 13th 2013 new

(Quote) Shara-929649 said: LOL Peter. You are always having to put yourself in the corner.
(Quote) Shara-929649 said:

LOL Peter. You are always having to put yourself in the corner.

--hide--

I might just as well keep the hat on and move my couch over to that corner as I seem to end up there on a regular basis anyway. rolling eyes embarassed

Jan 13th 2013 new

(Quote) Renai-414828 said: (Quote) Frank-901618 said: Hi,just wanted to read some of your all opinions o...
(Quote) Renai-414828 said:
Quote:
Frank-901618 said:

Hi,
just wanted to read some of your all opinions on long-distance relationships. Strangely, I find myself being reacted on -and attracted to- ladies from another continent. I like the different culture and temperament (Latin America), also on the beauty of these women. I think the same goes the other way around: They might like an European guy for the same reasons.
So of course we are often warned about long distance relationships, how difficult it can be to maintain, and to decide where to settle, etcetera. However, the fact that there is attraction generally for people from a different continent, is also a benefit: It could be the only way to make things work apparently for me: I find myself always struggling getting into contact with (Catholic) girls from my own country or even continent.

What are your (men and women) ideas on this? Just post your opinions, everything is welcome: Some kind of 'philosophy' on why it does or does not work, or personal experience. Not especially on HOW to make it work, and about WHAT the dangers are: Warnings and tips all over the place - but what is the general feeling about it?




Frank, it' s good to know you are open minded. Not all people looking to date cross continent have an ulterior motive....use the same common sense you would use given any situation. Many of the success stories on CM attest to the fact that it is doable, a large percentage actually have been marriages of the nature you aspire for. You may read some of these stories to gain an insight into the blessings and challenges such relationships may present. I sincerely wish you the best of luck! Please stay positive and follow your heart' s desire. God bless you.
--hide--


HI Frank,


Renai is right on the money here, when considering a woman from Latin America or any other culture you would use about 98% of the things you'd use to evaluate the girl next door. The only thing I would add is you need to look for Accessibly for one or both of you to spend time with each other and this can come in many forms. Ultimately, if she is right for you doors will open up and give you the opportunity to make it work, I've seen this happen too many times for it not to be true.


I'll add, while there are a lot of pit falls to LDR's there is one very important advantage, that is successful LDR couples learn to communicate very well and this benefits them greatly down the road.

Jan 13th 2013 new

No worries

Jan 14th 2013 new

(Quote) Ezrah-891754 said: On the part of warning signs: 1) I've come across with another gal in the past where...
(Quote) Ezrah-891754 said:

On the part of warning signs:

1) I've come across with another gal in the past where the family can get involved with the whole immigration situation. You might feel like you're dealing with something too personal from the beginning. It might be good on you to help but your taking a risk on trusting everything they say even if you happen to like the woman. Just keep in mind about conversations regarding "immigrations."

--hide--



Hi Ezrah, thanks for your comment. Though I can assume what you're talking about, it's not totally clear. What do you mean with "the family involved". Regarding the immigration of the lady towards the others' country, that they all want to take advantage?

Jan 14th 2013 new

(Quote) Melissa-155765 said: What are the reasons that it WOULD work out? 1) Discerning that the relations...
(Quote) Melissa-155765 said: What are the reasons that it WOULD work out?

1) Discerning that the relationship is really what God wills for both of you is the one important reason to make it work...(constant and persevering prayer is crucial to the discernment process.)

2) Then the courage and willingness to sacrifice considering the distance...Constant communication will save the day in this regard and Skype is a wonderful tool! (Skype worked for me except in one.)

3) Honesty and sincerity about how each one truly feels and the willingness to affirm it in words often would do a lot to prevent confusion and possible wrong perceptions.

4) The willingness to forgive the other person when mistakes are committed AND the ability to "bounce" back to normal, giving another chance to the other person. After all, nobody is perfect.

5) Praying for and with each other...God's grace and the inspirations obtained in prayer will always keep any couple "in step" with God's Will for them.

6) Doing and giving your best to the relationship at each moment, even with the limitations of distance, will always keep both your mind and heart at peace.

One last thought: Successful relationships don't just happen; it entails work from BOTH parties.
--hide--


All,

thank you again! You are filling my mind with lots of examples and advise that I will all contemplate in this... It's all twofold for me at the moment: I feel drawn toward being cautious, rationaly weighing if "it's worth it.", and on the other side I feel the ability to trust in God and let the chemistry do its work...

The post from Melissa, above, really helped a lot and summarized it all in a positive but realistic way.

Jan 14th 2013 new

(Quote) Bernadette-874299 said: Hello Frank! LDRs *can* work if the people in the relationship are dedicated to each ...
(Quote) Bernadette-874299 said:

Hello Frank!

LDRs *can* work if the people in the relationship are dedicated to each other. Yes, distance is an issue, then naturally the worries about if you fall in love how you will be together. The thing is to talk that all over *while* getting to know each other but *before* becoming exclusive, and be honest. If you can't/don't want to leave your country for whatever reason, lay that "card" on the table. However, if you meet a special lady on another continenet, be prepared for many long skype dates. Being away from the person you love is hard, but being able to *see* them regularly on skype helps a lot. I hope this helps. God bless. I'll be for you.

--hide--


I'm probably overfilling my own thread, but just wanted to acknowledge the thoughts that I seem to be able to use the best. Bernadette, this is one of them! I think this helps keeping it 'down-to-earth'... I like Skyping, so that's no problem :D

Jan 14th 2013 new

(Quote) Justin-32820 said: HI Frank, Renai is right on the money here, when considering a woman from Latin Americ...
(Quote) Justin-32820 said:

HI Frank,


Renai is right on the money here, when considering a woman from Latin America or any other culture you would use about 98% of the things you'd use to evaluate the girl next door. The only thing I would add is you need to look for Accessibly for one or both of you to spend time with each other and this can come in many forms. Ultimately, if she is right for you doors will open up and give you the opportunity to make it work, I've seen this happen too many times for it not to be true.


I'll add, while there are a lot of pit falls to LDR's there is one very important advantage, that is successful LDR couples learn to communicate very well and this benefits them greatly down the road.

--hide--


And Justin is the last one that I would want to ask: What do you exactly mean with "Accessibly"? Can you clarify this a bit for me? Thanks!

Jan 14th 2013 new
Hello Frank, Speaking from experience, there's only 3 things to consider for the relationship to work and that is Love, Honesty and Commitment. If one of those is missing, it will not work. The other factors are minor ones and you can easily worked that out between yourselves as you go through your married life. In my experience, I thought I had all 3 but I found out later on that he kept something from me that was very crucial in our married life and it was already too late for me to back out. I did my best for the next 10 years to make the marriage work but somehow, it came to a point that I've had enough. So, bottom line is, he wasn't honest to me. Isn't it true that honesty is the best policy? I hope this would help you in making a move whether both of you are ready for this kind of relationship. God bless and hope you find an answer very soon. Emily
Jan 14th 2013 new

(Quote) Frank-901618 said: (Quote) Justin-32820 said: HI Frank, Renai is right on the mone...
(Quote) Frank-901618 said:

Quote:
Justin-32820 said:

HI Frank,


Renai is right on the money here, when considering a woman from Latin America or any other culture you would use about 98% of the things you'd use to evaluate the girl next door. The only thing I would add is you need to look for Accessibly for one or both of you to spend time with each other and this can come in many forms. Ultimately, if she is right for you doors will open up and give you the opportunity to make it work, I've seen this happen too many times for it not to be true.


I'll add, while there are a lot of pit falls to LDR's there is one very important advantage, that is successful LDR couples learn to communicate very well and this benefits them greatly down the road.




And Justin is the last one that I would want to ask: What do you exactly mean with "Accessibly"? Can you clarify this a bit for me? Thanks!

--hide--


Sorry, I just mean there should be a way for you to see her and spend time with her without undertaking sufficient financial hardships. If you are well positioned for international travel it may not be a big deal, but having something like an old friend you can stay with in the same county or vice virus can help reduce the travel cost a lot. I hope that helps clarify what I meant.

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