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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people 45+. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

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Feb 14th 2013 new

This thread is a long one, but what I want to add to this is people will contact those they feel attracted to. Attraction is complex biological and emotional and even spiritual response. Men are visual, and attracted in general to a particular look or range of looks (whatever that is for them) and unfortunately the traits most are drawn to tend to "skew" younger.

I dare say that for most women who are over a certain age, like me, the reason you are not being contacted is not just our age; it's something else: they are not attracted to you for some reason. Harsh, but there it is.

Sure an older woman (let's say over 50) can be in shape, cute, healthy, sporty, and as active as a 35 y.o. But to be honest, most are not. There it is.

It's not fair, there are all kinds of reasons for it, and everyone should be forgiving and generous and charitable and should be grown up enough to overlook whatever the issue is, but it's still the fact. Harsh, but true.

And the fact is that most men are not drawn/attracted (for whatever reason) to old looking, old in attitude, old in body, old in ability to bring forth children, old in health, old in activity level, old in interests women. I wish it were otherwise, but there it is.

Many men see themselves as perpetually 30 years of age--and if they are still "30 in their heads" they certainly are not going to date a 55 y.o. woman, and certainly not one who actually looks 55, seems 55, and acts 55 (to use my soon to be age).

Further, some people are searching with a set number in mind: like age 35 to 49, and they are not going to change that, no matter how old they get. Or seeking 15 years younger than they are, and I say good luck with that!

But I don't think any number of posts about the situation will change it. This is hard wired, basically biological, and you are not going to "convince" a man to be attracted to something he does not find attractive.

You either have to change yourself (to better "match" what your own demographic seems to looking for, even if you can't change the number on the driver's license), or, you just have to wait for the one sensible, mature and loving man who just might be able to see the whole of who you are, age number and all, and wonder how he ever lived with it!

I would argue that feeling that the older men who are contacting us (who are at least attracted to US, despite the age number) are older guys looking for a "young chick" (young compared to them) is the same issue in reverse: we are not attracted to older men because we are just NOT attracted to them (not just because of a number, but because they look like our grandpa, they are sickly, going to die soon, we don't want to be a nursemaid, we are not retired, or whatever the reason).

So really, we are doing the very same thing: we are not attracted, we have our reasons, and while it looks like it is about age alone, it actually about the complex thing called attraction, or lack thereof.

I myself think that everyone should be open to someone their own age. If you are not, I think you have some serious self examination to do. IMHO.

Feb 14th 2013 new

(Quote) Pat-5351 said: This thread is a long one, but what I want to add to this is people will contact those they feel attr...
(Quote) Pat-5351 said:

This thread is a long one, but what I want to add to this is people will contact those they feel attracted to. Attraction is complex biological and emotional and even spiritual response. Men are visual, and attracted in general to a particular look or range of looks (whatever that is for them) and unfortunately the traits most are drawn to tend to "skew" younger.

I dare say that for most women who are over a certain age, like me, the reason you are not being contacted is not just our age; it's something else: they are not attracted to you for some reason. Harsh, but there it is.

Sure an older woman (let's say over 50) can be in shape, cute, healthy, sporty, and as active as a 35 y.o. But to be honest, most are not. There it is.

It's not fair, there are all kinds of reasons for it, and everyone should be forgiving and generous and charitable and should be grown up enough to overlook whatever the issue is, but it's still the fact. Harsh, but true.

And the fact is that most men are not drawn/attracted (for whatever reason) to old looking, old in attitude, old in body, old in ability to bring forth children, old in health, old in activity level, old in interests women. I wish it were otherwise, but there it is.

Many men see themselves as perpetually 30 years of age--and if they are still "30 in their heads" they certainly are not going to date a 55 y.o. woman, and certainly not one who actually looks 55, seems 55, and acts 55 (to use my soon to be age).

Further, some people are searching with a set number in mind: like age 35 to 49, and they are not going to change that, no matter how old they get. Or seeking 15 years younger than they are, and I say good luck with that!

But I don't think any number of posts about the situation will change it. This is hard wired, basically biological, and you are not going to "convince" a man to be attracted to something he does not find attractive.

You either have to change yourself (to better "match" what your own demographic seems to looking for, even if you can't change the number on the driver's license), or, you just have to wait for the one sensible, mature and loving man who just might be able to see the whole of who you are, age number and all, and wonder how he ever lived with it!

I would argue that feeling that the older men who are contacting us (who are at least attracted to US, despite the age number) are older guys looking for a "young chick" (young compared to them) is the same issue in reverse: we are not attracted to older men because we are just NOT attracted to them (not just because of a number, but because they look like our grandpa, they are sickly, going to die soon, we don't want to be a nursemaid, we are not retired, or whatever the reason).

So really, we are doing the very same thing: we are not attracted, we have our reasons, and while it looks like it is about age alone, it actually about the complex thing called attraction, or lack thereof.

I myself think that everyone should be open to someone their own age. If you are not, I think you have some serious self examination to do. IMHO.

--hide--


Hi Pat! You are the absolute best - hands down!! cool Happy Valentine's Day (again!)! heart Chelle

Feb 14th 2013 new
(Quote) Leon-593843 said: (Quote) Cindy-534370 said: Yes, I have to agree that men are looking for younger age women, at 6...
(Quote) Leon-593843 said:

Quote:
Cindy-534370 said: Yes, I have to agree that men are looking for younger age women, at 60 yrs. old, men aren't looking at my age but someone who is in the range of 45 to 50. Some men will just keep looking for the younger women, eventually they will find her. So, where does this leave for us? Maybe I should consider a younger man?




Cindy,

You state, "at 60 yrs. old, men aren't looking at my age but someone who is in the range of 45 to 50". I do not agree. They look but they just don't stop and linger.

I would suggest you don't discount men between 25 and 40. They are generally vibrant, high energy, looking for adventure and ready to "rock 'n roll".

By the way, did you get any fig leaves for Christmas? I didn't so I will just have to buy my own unless you wish to send me some for Valentine's Day.

Just joshing with you.

Hope you are doing well.

Blessings always,

Leon

--hide--
Hey Leon! Happy Valentine's Day to you! You are a sweetheart! Just saw this post now, haven't been around much lately. Have a sweet day! Cindy
Feb 14th 2013 new

(Quote) Cindy-534370 said: (Quote) Leon-593843 said: (Quote) Cindy-534370 said: Yes, I have ...
(Quote) Cindy-534370 said:
Quote:
Leon-593843 said:

Quote:
Cindy-534370 said: Yes, I have to agree that men are looking for younger age women, at 60 yrs. old, men aren't looking at my age but someone who is in the range of 45 to 50. Some men will just keep looking for the younger women, eventually they will find her. So, where does this leave for us? Maybe I should consider a younger man?




Cindy,

You state, "at 60 yrs. old, men aren't looking at my age but someone who is in the range of 45 to 50". I do not agree. They look but they just don't stop and linger.

I would suggest you don't discount men between 25 and 40. They are generally vibrant, high energy, looking for adventure and ready to "rock 'n roll".

By the way, did you get any fig leaves for Christmas? I didn't so I will just have to buy my own unless you wish to send me some for Valentine's Day.

Just joshing with you.

Hope you are doing well.

Blessings always,

Leon


Hey Leon! Happy Valentine's Day to you! You are a sweetheart! Just saw this post now, haven't been around much lately. Have a sweet day! Cindy
--hide--


Cindy,

I also wish you a very Happy Valentine's Day and thank you for the kind words.

My time on CM seems to get less and less each week. Nothing wrong with the site - it's just me. You know how us Texans get sometimes.

Enjoy the evening in a manner you see fit.

Finally, thank you for always being a good sport. We can't be serious all the time.

May this year bring you great joy, happiness, peace and lots of love. present

Blessings always, Praying hug rose hersheyskiss theheart

Leon

Feb 14th 2013 new

(Quote) Chelle-924354 said: (Quote) Pat-5351 said: This thread is a long one, but what I want to add ...
(Quote) Chelle-924354 said:

Quote:
Pat-5351 said:

This thread is a long one, but what I want to add to this is people will contact those they feel attracted to. Attraction is complex biological and emotional and even spiritual response. Men are visual, and attracted in general to a particular look or range of looks (whatever that is for them) and unfortunately the traits most are drawn to tend to "skew" younger.

I dare say that for most women who are over a certain age, like me, the reason you are not being contacted is not just our age; it's something else: they are not attracted to you for some reason. Harsh, but there it is.

Sure an older woman (let's say over 50) can be in shape, cute, healthy, sporty, and as active as a 35 y.o. But to be honest, most are not. There it is.

It's not fair, there are all kinds of reasons for it, and everyone should be forgiving and generous and charitable and should be grown up enough to overlook whatever the issue is, but it's still the fact. Harsh, but true.

And the fact is that most men are not drawn/attracted (for whatever reason) to old looking, old in attitude, old in body, old in ability to bring forth children, old in health, old in activity level, old in interests women. I wish it were otherwise, but there it is.

Many men see themselves as perpetually 30 years of age--and if they are still "30 in their heads" they certainly are not going to date a 55 y.o. woman, and certainly not one who actually looks 55, seems 55, and acts 55 (to use my soon to be age).

Further, some people are searching with a set number in mind: like age 35 to 49, and they are not going to change that, no matter how old they get. Or seeking 15 years younger than they are, and I say good luck with that!

But I don't think any number of posts about the situation will change it. This is hard wired, basically biological, and you are not going to "convince" a man to be attracted to something he does not find attractive.

You either have to change yourself (to better "match" what your own demographic seems to looking for, even if you can't change the number on the driver's license), or, you just have to wait for the one sensible, mature and loving man who just might be able to see the whole of who you are, age number and all, and wonder how he ever lived with it!

I would argue that feeling that the older men who are contacting us (who are at least attracted to US, despite the age number) are older guys looking for a "young chick" (young compared to them) is the same issue in reverse: we are not attracted to older men because we are just NOT attracted to them (not just because of a number, but because they look like our grandpa, they are sickly, going to die soon, we don't want to be a nursemaid, we are not retired, or whatever the reason).

So really, we are doing the very same thing: we are not attracted, we have our reasons, and while it looks like it is about age alone, it actually about the complex thing called attraction, or lack thereof.

I myself think that everyone should be open to someone their own age. If you are not, I think you have some serious self examination to do. IMHO.




Hi Pat! You are the absolute best - hands down!! Happy Valentine's Day (again!)! Chelle

--hide--
Why is she the best.This is an unfair sweeping generalization about Men.It's just not true for all or most men! Totally unfair.It seems to be a reoccurring theme by some women on CM. ashamed

Feb 14th 2013 new

(Quote) Bernard-2709 said: Why is she the best.This is an unfair sweeping generalization about Men.It's just not true fo...
(Quote) Bernard-2709 said:

Why is she the best.This is an unfair sweeping generalization about Men.It's just not true for all or most men! Totally unfair.It seems to be a reoccurring theme by some women on CM.

--hide--



If anything, Bernard, it's probably a sweeping generalization of anyone who is dating over the age of 50! Nonetheless, I think there's alot of truth in it. Regardless of what may seem like a recurring theme "by some women on CM," I believe everyone is entitled to their preferences and their opinions. Happy Valentine's Day! heart Chelle

Feb 14th 2013 new

(Quote) Chelle-924354 said: (Quote) Bernard-2709 said: Why is she the best.This is an unfair sweeping...
(Quote) Chelle-924354 said:

Quote:
Bernard-2709 said:

Why is she the best.This is an unfair sweeping generalization about Men.It's just not true for all or most men! Totally unfair.It seems to be a reoccurring theme by some women on CM.





If anything, Bernard, it's probably a sweeping generalization of anyone who is dating over the age of 50! Nonetheless, I think there's alot of truth in it. Regardless of what may seem like a recurring theme "by some women on CM," I believe everyone is entitled to their preferences and their opinions. Happy Valentine's Day! Chelle

--hide--
I think it is unfair to make statements like this about Men.Especially here on CM.It's factually incorrect.

Feb 14th 2013 new

(Quote) Bernard-2709 said: I think it is unfair to make statements like this about Men.Especially here on CM.It's factua...
(Quote) Bernard-2709 said:

I think it is unfair to make statements like this about Men.Especially here on CM.It's factually incorrect.

--hide--


Again, Bernard, I believe everyone is entitled to their preferences and opinions. I wish you the best! Chelle

Feb 14th 2013 new

(Quote) Chelle-924354 said: (Quote) Bernard-2709 said: I think it is unfair to make statements like t...
(Quote) Chelle-924354 said:

Quote:
Bernard-2709 said:

I think it is unfair to make statements like this about Men.Especially here on CM.It's factually incorrect.




Again, Bernard, I believe everyone is entitled to their preferences and opinions. I wish you the best! Chelle

--hide--
We are just talking about opinions,not preferences.I am sure the women of Cm would not be happy about a statement or generalization made about them if it is factually incorrect.Right. smile

Feb 15th 2013 new

Pat I agree with your summary well said, body type and activity level plays a big role in the physical attraction realm. As an engineer I love data so I will offer my personal data after a couple of weeks of playing with the search options.

I am 49 years old and my main search parameters are 43 to 53.

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