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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Jan 14th 2013 new

(Quote) John-220051 said: Any suggestions for how not to get tongue tied on the first date, so it's not the following script. <...
(Quote) John-220051 said: Any suggestions for how not to get tongue tied on the first date, so it's not the following script.

Man: What do you like to do?

Woman: I like reading. What about you?

Man: What do you like eating?

Woman: What about you?

How can a guy who isn't exactly the best conversationalist at first get his date to open up and talk about herself? Any ideas ladies?
--hide--
You can tell her she's so stunning that you're speechless, but you'll probably have a hard time getting that one out.

If you can, bounce a follow-up question or two. If she likes to read, you can ask her what she likes to read -- favorite authors, types of books or publications, and so on. If you can avoid "Yes" or "No" questions, so much the better. Open-end questions tend to lead to conversations, not just quickie one-word responses.

Assuming this date would be with a CM lady, review her profile. It should give you some clues about where to start a conversation. It's helpeul if there are some mutual interests about which both of you are enthusiastic. Also, if you met online, the topic of online dating is good for starters. Perhaps both of you have reservations about it because it's the first time you've tried it. What are her feelings about it?

Try to sound interested in really knowing the answers to what you're asking. Just blandly rattling off a bunch of questions isn't going to spark a lively conversation. If it sounds like an interrogation, your date will most likely feel uncomfortable.

There was something that interested you in the first place. You might be able to capitalize on that. What brought you together in the first place? Something grabbed your attention. Let her know what it was.

Easy to say: try to relax and be yourself. It's easier than putting on an act. Above all, do your best to put your date at ease. If she's not comfortable with her surroundings or your intensity of questioning, she might not hope for a second date.

Jan 14th 2013 new
(Quote) John-746882 said: John, First let me say best wishes and God bless. Good advice is given here, but I'd also say, don't worry ...
(Quote) John-746882 said: John, First let me say best wishes and God bless. Good advice is given here, but I'd also say, don't worry about pauses in the conversation. I think sometimes we get so nervous about having to fill up the space that it becomes an unnecessary worry. Hope it goes really well for you! John
--hide--


I'm going to call a young lady I met on CM in the next day or so. I don't want to overthink.
Jan 14th 2013 new

(Quote) John-220051 said: Any suggestions for how not to get tongue tied on the first date, so it's not the following script. <...
(Quote) John-220051 said: Any suggestions for how not to get tongue tied on the first date, so it's not the following script.

Man: What do you like to do?

Woman: I like reading. What about you?

Man: What do you like eating?

Woman: What about you?

How can a guy who isn't exactly the best conversationalist at first get his date to open up and talk about herself? Any ideas ladies?
--hide--
Hi John,

I won't try for a comprehensive reply, but will make a couple suggestions.

Make sure that in at least some of your conversations she senses how you feel about the topics your mentioning or the points your making. If you talk only in an explanatory or descriptive way, she will not be able to see you in your words even if you are talking about her favorite subjects. As far as deciding whether she wants to continue seeing you is concerned, she is most interested in finding out about you and she won't be able to do this if your stay with the merely explanatory or descriptive. This does not necessarily mean that you manner of communication has to be emotional, but at least that your words include such phrases as "I liked", "I disliked", "I was happy about", "I was disappointed by", "I was hurt by", "I'm really looking forward to", "I'm positively dreading that I have to" and so on. These revelations don't have to be deep, profound or passionate. They just have to show your relationship to (your like of, dislike of, approval of, disapproval of, ...) the topic as opposed to just the topic itself being explained or described. In a sense, the main point here is that you bring yourself to the date rather than just a lot of interesting subject matters, hilarious jokes or fascinating stories with no relation to your inner feelings, needs, wants and attitudes.

Similarly ask how she feels about some of the items she mentions and how she was affected by some of the incidents she brings up if she is not already doing so on her own; that is, have her words reveal more than her topics in isolation from herself. In a sense, the main point here is that you try to let her know that the most important aspect for you is that she brought herself to the date and that you want to get to know her.

Explaining how explaining misses the misses, eyebrow cool

John

Jan 14th 2013 new

(Quote) John-220051 said: I'm going to call a young lady I met on CM in the next day or so. I don't want to overthi...
(Quote) John-220051 said:

I'm going to call a young lady I met on CM in the next day or so. I don't want to overthink.
--hide--


Good luck!! crossfingers

Jan 14th 2013 new

A lot of great comments in this thread. By the time you go on that first date you should have idea about her interests, but don't just ask "what" they like or enjoy something, but "why" they like or enjoy it. Good Luck!

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