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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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01/14/2013 new

Happy Birthday Daniel! Happy Birthday!

Good luck with your date. You mention she is an artist. Any art galleries or exhibits in the area she might like to go to after lunch? I like the small arrangement of flowers. Don't forget to smile-you have a nice smile.

01/15/2013 new

(Quote) Chelle-924354 said: How did you know about my fear of tin cans, Naomi?!?!
(Quote) Chelle-924354 said:



How did you know about my fear of tin cans, Naomi?!?!

--hide--

wink

And Happy Birthday, late, Danie! discoball party party

01/15/2013 new

(Quote) Daniel-827401 said: Ladies, if you were my first date, what would you like me to do for you? What would make you fee...
(Quote) Daniel-827401 said:

Ladies, if you were my first date, what would you like me to do for you? What would make you feel extra special? Would a small gift or a small vase of flowers (not roses) be OK? Would you feel safer and more comfortable if we met at the restaurant as opposed to me coming by your place to pick you up? If we were meeting for lunch at a popular cafe-style restaurant, ie., Panera Bread, what would appropriate dress be? If we have a great time, and the chemistry is there, what would be an appropriate ending for a memorable first date?

At the same time, what would you hope that I wouldn't do on our first date? What would turn you off? What would guarantee that there wouldn't be a second date?

I have to brush up on my manners--and remember to use them. After all, this isn't another night out with the boys.

Guys, what has worked for you? What hasn't?

Thanks in advance for any sage advice!

--hide--

HI Daniel,

I would stay away from the flowers idea, I've known guys who have done this and it never comes of very well. You don't want to create pressure on the first date, but if you want to go with a gift make is somthing small, cute and maybe funny, like that bag of M&M's example.


Make sure you pick a place that is close to other activies, that you can walk too or a short drive so if the dates going well make sure you have some ideas in mind to keep it going. Do your best to listen to what she is saying and try to ask thoughtful follow up questions.

Most important just relax and have fun, if you do that everything will take care of itself.

01/15/2013 new

(Quote) Justin-32820 said: HI Daniel, I would stay away from the flowers idea, I've known guys ...
(Quote) Justin-32820 said:

HI Daniel,

I would stay away from the flowers idea, I've known guys who have done this and it never comes of very well. You don't want to create pressure on the first date, but if you want to go with a gift make is somthing small, cute and maybe funny, like that bag of M&M's example.


Make sure you pick a place that is close to other activies, that you can walk too or a short drive so if the dates going well make sure you have some ideas in mind to keep it going. Do your best to listen to what she is saying and try to ask thoughtful follow up questions.

Most important just relax and have fun, if you do that everything will take care of itself.

--hide--

I guess I am old fashioned but I love flowers. rose rose rose rose

In my opinion it shows that a guy respects my femininity and that he cares enough to make the effort to treat me like a gentleman. I need a gentleman. That being said I did give the disclaimer that I am old fashioned and proably not like most girls. I happen to like the idea of being courted the old fashioned way. The M &Ms might throw me for a bit of a loop as I am not a big fan of chocolate.

My advice is to find out what kind of girl she is and make sure the date caters to making feel that who she is as woman is important to you. Women love to feel like the woman in the relationship and that you are able to take charge ( in a good way). Why do you think that men like Mr. Darcy and Prince Charming are popular? We might try to pretend that this is not the case but most ( alright maybe many)women want that. I think that deep down inside most of the feminists might as well. But what do I know? It is only my opinion.

01/15/2013 new

(Quote) Shara-929649 said: (Quote) Justin-32820 said: HI Daniel, I would sta...
(Quote) Shara-929649 said:

Quote:
Justin-32820 said:

HI Daniel,

I would stay away from the flowers idea, I've known guys who have done this and it never comes of very well. You don't want to create pressure on the first date, but if you want to go with a gift make is somthing small, cute and maybe funny, like that bag of M&M's example.


Make sure you pick a place that is close to other activies, that you can walk too or a short drive so if the dates going well make sure you have some ideas in mind to keep it going. Do your best to listen to what she is saying and try to ask thoughtful follow up questions.

Most important just relax and have fun, if you do that everything will take care of itself.


I guess I am old fashioned but I love flowers.

In my opinion it shows that a guy respects my femininity and that he cares enough to make the effort to treat me like a gentleman. I need a gentleman. That being said I did give the disclaimer that I am old fashioned and proably not like most girls. I happen to like the idea of being courted the old fashioned way. The M &Ms might throw me for a bit of a loop as I am not a big fan of chocolate.

My advice is to find out what kind of girl she is and make sure the date caters to making feel that who she is as woman is important to you. Women love to feel like the woman in the relationship and that you are able to take charge ( in a good way). Why do you think that men like Mr. Darcy and Prince Charming are popular? We might try to pretend that this is not the case but most ( alright maybe many)women want that. I think that deep down inside most of the feminists might as well. But what do I know? It is only my opinion.

--hide--


Hi Shara,

I'm only talking about the first date, after the first couple of dates flowers are fine. Personally, I've found guys who use first date flowers are trying to impress the woman and it's not really a genuine gift of affection. Also, I did not mean literally give her M&M's I was just using that as example of something thoughtful, but not to much. In general, unless he knows her well, I would avoid first date gifts.

01/15/2013 new

(Quote) Justin-32820 said: Hi Shara, I'm only talking about the first date, after the first couple o...
(Quote) Justin-32820 said:


Hi Shara,

I'm only talking about the first date, after the first couple of dates flowers are fine. Personally, I've found guys who use first date flowers are trying to impress the woman and it's not really a genuine gift of affection. Also, I did not mean literally give her M&M's I was just using that as example of something thoughtful, but not to much. In general, unless he knows her well, I would avoid first date gifts.

--hide--

Oh ok. I agree to some extent as it can possibly be awkward if you met through an online dating site and don't know the person.

01/15/2013 new
(Quote) Daniel-827401 said: Ladies, if you were my first date, what would you like me to do for you? What would make you feel extra speci...
(Quote) Daniel-827401 said:

Ladies, if you were my first date, what would you like me to do for you? What would make you feel extra special? Would a small gift or a small vase of flowers (not roses) be OK? Would you feel safer and more comfortable if we met at the restaurant as opposed to me coming by your place to pick you up? If we were meeting for lunch at a popular cafe-style restaurant, ie., Panera Bread, what would appropriate dress be? If we have a great time, and the chemistry is there, what would be an appropriate ending for a memorable first date?

At the same time, what would you hope that I wouldn't do on our first date? What would turn you off? What would guarantee that there wouldn't be a second date?

I have to brush up on my manners--and remember to use them. After all, this isn't another night out with the boys.

Guys, what has worked for you? What hasn't?

Thanks in advance for any sage advice!

--hide--


Ditto most of the advice here; ask me questions, but not simple one word answer type of questions. If you and I have already connected on line, then there are areas we have already discussed. It's okay to tell me you are nervous, it will make me feel better about being nervous myself.

Please do not fidgit, it becomes distracting to me and I have a hard time concentrating on you. If you talk with your hands when you get nervous (I do), then grab your glass with both hands (that's what I do). Get to know my personality before we meet. I am a choleric so I enjoy some fun banter and witty conversation. If you make me smile, we will both relax and enjoy each-other more (THAT guarantees a second date!) If your date is a little shy, then that means you may have to work a little harder to keep the conversation going. You don't have to compliment everything about me, but do notice something and make a sincere comment. It makes me feel attractive.

And yes, be yourself, connect with the wait staff and smile at the kiddies, it shows me you are genuine and real.

And if we had a great time, please don't wait more than 2 days to call and tell me so.
01/15/2013 new

Hi Daniel,

Great questions. I think how our popular culture puts a lot of pressure on the first date to be some magical romantic production that has to be over-the-top in how it moves two people into a half-conscious trance of love at first sight intimidates a lot of people. It’s just a first date. Neither person is appearing on a TV show during the date. Although, going to a taping of a cooking show if you live in an area where they do that might be a nice first date, but a live taping of COPS - not so much. Anyway, back to your questions.

On a first date, I think the gentleman’s presence would be enough of a gift for me. Gifts are more of a personal thing after you get to know each other a little bit better.

As for what to wear, it is nice if the gentleman makes an effort to be presentable - clean and neat, though not necessarily formal, depending on where it is. Dress for the location and the occasion is good advice.

For first dates, meeting at the restaurant or location is more comfortable. It takes some time to get to know someone and become comfortable enough to welcome someone into one’s life a little bit at a time, including getting picked up or dropped off at one’s residence, or meeting friends or relatives.

A first date can be stressful, so unless one or both parties say or do something horribly offensive, I would not write it off as a disaster. So if there is no kiss, nor a warm embrace (still chaste) nor a promise to meet again in the next 48 hours, I wouldn’t despair. It’s just a first date. One or both of you may need to think about whether you'd like a second date. It's an opportunity to start to get to know each other better. Hopefully there will be many more dates to shower each other with gifts, attend more formal events together, share events and outings together, and build a lasting relationship.

As for what to avoid, the list could be too numerous, so I'll just sum it up by saying that it's always a good idea for both people to listen to their mother and mind their manners.

01/15/2013 new

(Quote) Daniel-827401 said: Ladies, if you were my first date, what would you like me to do for you? What would make you fee...
(Quote) Daniel-827401 said:

Ladies, if you were my first date, what would you like me to do for you? What would make you feel extra special? Would a small gift or a small vase of flowers (not roses) be OK? Would you feel safer and more comfortable if we met at the restaurant as opposed to me coming by your place to pick you up? If we were meeting for lunch at a popular cafe-style restaurant, ie., Panera Bread, what would appropriate dress be? If we have a great time, and the chemistry is there, what would be an appropriate ending for a memorable first date?

At the same time, what would you hope that I wouldn't do on our first date? What would turn you off? What would guarantee that there wouldn't be a second date?

I have to brush up on my manners--and remember to use them. After all, this isn't another night out with the boys.

Guys, what has worked for you? What hasn't?

Thanks in advance for any sage advice!

--hide--


Even though I have not had a whole lot of experience in this category, I still have some insight that I hope will be helpful. First, I am always myself, and that means I will crack a corny, clean joke here and there. I have found that women find a guy with a sense of humor attractive, so that is a big plus for me duck lil mikie In my previous relationship, which was with a CM member, I offered to pick her up at her house for our first date. That being said, I have found that offering to pick the lady up at her residence for your first date is a way to let her know you are for real. Anyway, when we were planning that date, I made sure to plan an activity that would be fairly close to her, and she picked the restaurant.

I hope this little bit of insight helps!!

01/17/2013 new

(Quote) Tara-916865 said: Aw, you're sweet to ask. Great questions! Here's my two cents: I t...
(Quote) Tara-916865 said:


Aw, you're sweet to ask. Great questions! Here's my two cents:


I think flowers are great. It make me know the guy thought about me before the date - not just, oh wait, I have a date. lol


Meeting at the restaurant would make me feel better. Not that you're a creep stalker, but it would still make me feel better.


As far as a restaurant, I'd like it if you picked something based on what I'd like, but something you'd like as well. When I met a guy 3 hours away, I wanted to meet in the middle. He knew I was from New Orleans, so he picked a restaurant in Mississippi that was known for having New Orleans food. It was very thoughtful of him.


I'd say have a place in mind if you want the date to continue... like maybe a park nearby or a coffee shop not too far away. You could always suggest it if you feel the date is going well. I never plan things have dates because I'd like to have that time open if it turns into a 6 hour date... which is never bad! :)


Obviously good manners - letting me order first, opening doors, etc. would make me respected. I tend to watch how my date treats the waitress/waiter/barista and any people around us. Like once at a coffeehouse, my date and I saw a family walk in with several small kids. A toddler was just walking around smiling, and my date smiled and commented how cute the kid was. I was totally cool with that kid taking my attention away. lol Another time, a random older guy on a laptop started talking to my date, but my date wasn't like, Won't this whacko stop talking to me? lol


Things to not do is get too personal... I'd let her lead with the comfort level of questions, maybe. :)

--hide--


Thanks, Tara! I never thought about a close-by park to go to should we really strike up a good visit. A 6-hour date would be fine in my book.

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