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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

In my life time I've met people who I find interesting from the start and found attractions. Sometimes my senses tell me they can be a bit too much to care later on. I've been that person who can turn off someone's attractions toward me. However, after learning the effect it has on some people made me think twice about my behaviours. I don't have a problem attracting people into my life regardless of their age. It's just some people can come off wanting the majority of my attention focused on them. I can sense sometimes that they will try to follow my wants to fulfill their wishes. People who are normally good at being persuasive with me are usually the ones that I find challenging.

I've always believed that you can't put all of your emotions into one person but learning to balance your emotions is the key. It's true when I was growing up I was the kid who can find amusement when I'm alone and give my full attention to an individual as needed. Now, I'm an adult that I find myself dealing with more people every day.

What do you do or say when you sense someone is getting too needy / clingy around you?

P.S. I consider myself introvert with the desire to be more extrovert but I face challenges like this one.

Jan 13th 2013 new

(Quote) Ezrah-891754 said: In my life time I've met people who I find interesting from the start and found attractions. ...
(Quote) Ezrah-891754 said:

In my life time I've met people who I find interesting from the start and found attractions. Sometimes my senses tell me they can be a bit too much to care later on. I've been that person who can turn off someone's attractions toward me. However, after learning the effect it has on some people made me think twice about my behaviours. I don't have a problem attracting people into my life regardless of their age. It's just some people can come off wanting the majority of my attention focused on them. I can sense sometimes that they will try to follow my wants to fulfill their wishes. People who are normally good at being persuasive with me are usually the ones that I find challenging.

I've always believed that you can't put all of your emotions into one person but learning to balance your emotions is the key. It's true when I was growing up I was the kid who can find amusement when I'm alone and give my full attention to an individual as needed. Now, I'm an adult that I find myself dealing with more people every day.

What do you do or say when you sense someone is getting too needy / clingy around you?

P.S. I consider myself introvert with the desire to be more extrovert but I face challenges like this one.

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Good question Ezrah. The key to any relationship is clear , honest , communication. No matter what the relationship is it is always best to be honest about your observations , needs, and desires. BE Kind but be honest. People as you know have different levels of attention they need but this can be compromised if both and/or all (again this goes for all relationships) agree to compromise. If you need space say it but in a kind manner and explain that you are best with say a half hour to just your self or maybe it is a day to your self . What matters is that you are honest and clear about your feelings and needs.

Jan 14th 2013 new

Thank you, Pamela :)! I like how you suggest the half hour to myself or day to myself. Plus, the idea of being honest about my feelings smile.

Jan 14th 2013 new

You are welcome.


You can never go wrong with being honest and open about your needs , thoughts and desires on any topic in all relationships.


Mind you it is important to be open to actually listen to the other person(s) that you are having the discourse with. Listening is key and the most difficult skill for most people but if you can both sit down and attempt to actually hear each other and discuss issues rationally and respectfully well you are both golden. It takes effort but is totally worth it and do able. Feel free to message me any time for advice and tips . I am a trained Communication Specialist I can not say it will work all the time because it only works if all parties work at it but it does work. There are always ways to come to a compromise and solution to all relationship issues . Good Luck. :)

Jan 15th 2013 new

I recognize the word "compromise" eyebrow! I'll for sure keep this in mind about you being a trained Communication Specialist. I believe I met a Communication Specialist once in the past during a time where I needed help finding a job. I'm thankful for people like you because she was very helpful to me. She showed sides of me that I didn't know even though she has only gotten to know me for a few hours of a day.


Thank you kindly, Pamela theheart.

Jan 15th 2013 new
Hi Ezrah, Having myself been one of those clingy, needy people, I think its really important to point out to them what it is they are doing that is making them come off in that way. Even though it is usually quite obvious, they may not be able to tell, and its always helpful to have concrete points to work on.
Jan 15th 2013 new

I end the relationship. I have had this in my life in different times and will not allow it again. Needy/clingy people suck the life right out of you. They are never satisfied and can never get enough in my experience. I would rather be alone forever then stuck with somebody like that.

Jan 17th 2013 new

(Quote) Mairi-935218 said: Hi Ezrah, Having myself been one of those clingy, needy people, I think its really important to point ou...
(Quote) Mairi-935218 said: Hi Ezrah, Having myself been one of those clingy, needy people, I think its really important to point out to them what it is they are doing that is making them come off in that way. Even though it is usually quite obvious, they may not be able to tell, and its always helpful to have concrete points to work on.
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Sounds like a good idea, Mairi smile! Thank you for the suggestion.

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