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This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.

Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
Learn More: Saint Eugene De Mazenod and Saint Fabiola

Jan 16th 2013 new

Daniel -

I just joined CM, and waited to do so until my annulment was final after two years. I certainly learned patience in the process, and the knowledge that God would not only have plenty for me to do in the meantime while I wait, it gave my heart a chance to heal and focus on what I really want. I am now in a position (with the help of CM!) wait for who I really want...more importantly, for who God really wants for me and my children. I heard somewhere on here that if the right person hasn't come along yet on CM, that one of you is not ready. Makes perfect sense to me. Takes nine months to birth a new life, 18-25 years to become an adult, another 10-15 years to really "get it right." And I'm okay with it now!

God bless your journey!

Jan 16th 2013 new

I made a lot of progress today by typing in the answers on the questionaire ( this is the 3rd time that I have filled it out, and who knows how many times I rehearsed it in my heart sad )

Once again I feel ugly and violated....

Jan 16th 2013 new
(Quote) Daniel-634934 said: I made a lot of progress today by typing in the answers on the questionaire ( this is the 3rd time that I have...
(Quote) Daniel-634934 said:

I made a lot of progress today by typing in the answers on the questionaire ( this is the 3rd time that I have filled it out, and who knows how many times I rehearsed it in my heart )

Once again I feel ugly and violated....

--hide--


Be kind to yourself Daniel, mine took three years for me to finish filling out. I had a lot of things that I took to prayer. So let go and let God be with you during this time. Praying for your healing of memories.
Jan 17th 2013 new

(Quote) Brenda-74660 said: (Quote) Daniel-634934 said: I made a lot of progress today by typing in the answe...
(Quote) Brenda-74660 said:
Quote:
Daniel-634934 said:

I made a lot of progress today by typing in the answers on the questionaire ( this is the 3rd time that I have filled it out, and who knows how many times I rehearsed it in my heart )

Once again I feel ugly and violated....




Be kind to yourself Daniel, mine took three years for me to finish filling out. I had a lot of things that I took to prayer. So let go and let God be with you during this time. Praying for your healing of memories.
--hide--


Thanks Brenda smile

It's tough though. Like most other people, I am here because of what my spouse did to me not vice versa. Sometimes I feel that I am the one who has to pay for her mistake while she gets off scot free.

Jan 17th 2013 new
(Quote) Daniel-634934 said: Thanks Brenda It's tough though. Like most other people, I am here because of what my spo...
(Quote) Daniel-634934 said:



Thanks Brenda

It's tough though. Like most other people, I am here because of what my spouse did to me not vice versa. Sometimes I feel that I am the one who has to pay for her mistake while she gets off scot free.

--hide--


Daniel this can be a healing time, I was in that same boat. It was a time of healing of memories for me, twenty seven pages front and back and three years later I learned to forgive not only to one who hurt me but also myself. You have my prayers as you go through this process. God bless Brenda
Jan 17th 2013 new

Daniel,

Getting through the answers and sending in your papers is I think the most difficult part of the process. The most difficult part is now over, just let go of it. The next is the waiting and you will get through it. Your former wife has not gotten away with anything, just give it time.

An annulment allows you to grieve the loss of all you hoped for and promised each other the day you made your marriage commitment. It's a healing, freeing gift and process. It's also entirely possible that you end up forgiving her and that's the very best outcome possible since that is when you truly know you have moved on.

Wishing you success and sending you prayers.

theheart

Jan 17th 2013 new

Good luck Daniel..


I learn a lot from this CM site, as I too will start processing mine..

Jan 17th 2013 new

(Quote) Daniel-634934 said:It's tough though. Like most other people, I am here because of what my spouse did to me not...
(Quote) Daniel-634934 said:

It's tough though. Like most other people, I am here because of what my spouse did to me not vice versa. Sometimes I feel that I am the one who has to pay for her mistake while she gets off scot free.

--hide--



I'm glad to hear someone else feels like their spouse is getting off scott free. I still struggle with this and hope that this process is as healing as everyone says it is. My greatest hope is to someday, with God's grace, forgive my ex. Somedays, though, it feels like that is never going to happen boggled weeping Praying You will be in my prayers.

Jan 17th 2013 new

Congratulations Daniel, and may everyday from this day forward be a glorious one !

God Bless,

Sheila rose

Jan 17th 2013 new

Hi Daniel,

Be sure that you are very, very thorough in answering the questions. Do not rush. The life history portion of my annulment petition ran 56 single-spaced pages. Go into detail. The tribunal judge and defender of the bond are looking for a true and accurate picture of what transpired in your marriage -- both your faults and your wife's faults. Above all, be honest, as you will later be asked follow-up questions during your interview. My two hour meeting with the judge was more like an interrogation than an interview, so be prepared. Inform your witnesses beforehand to expect a questionnaire, and suggest to them to also be thorough. However, be careful about what you say, as the tribunal is very wary about coached witnesses. Just my 2 cents. Best to you.

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