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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jan 19th 2013 new

(Quote) Michael-780154 said: Andrew, thank you for this post. Probably a vast majority of my thoughts and feelings ...
(Quote) Michael-780154 said:

Andrew, thank you for this post. Probably a vast majority of my thoughts and feelings remain private most of the time... though I do struggle with drafting and sending a note here and there that should, perhaps, remain private.


Your feelings are shared, brother. Here's a shoulder of support for you and all the others here who are in similar situation of not being able to marry in the Church at this time. I think they have a smiley for that, as a matter of fact... Ah, yes...

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Michael I understand that this is a hard period for you but you might want to view the situation not as not being able to be married in the Church but as still being married because you are. Since you are married, the Church and God requires you to be faithful to that spouse and seeking an outside relationship falls outside of that boundary. So it is more than not being able to be married in the Church but just practicing fidelity to your current spouse in a difficult time. That practice of the discipline of fidelity to sacramental marriage will prepare you to be a much better spouse in the future. Rather than focusing on the pain and on filling that void with another person use that time to learn to fill it with God. God often uses those periods of deep pain and longing as homing beacons to cleave us to his heart. By cleaving to his heart he will heal you from the pain and hurt from your broken marriage and make you a whole and healed person for your future spouse. This is a hard message to hear but it is the truth and because I care so deeply for your soul I will always tell you the truth. Trust me Michael but most of all use this time to trust God. No person or spouse can fill the void in our heart. Only God can and to have that expectation of a spouse will lead you to even further disappointment and hurt. A spouse is only meant to be a partner in the journey to God and the fullfillment that He brings but not the source of fullfillment. I hope that you take this in love and in the Spirit that it is meant to be.

I thought and prayed for a while before writing this post but I saw another post you wrote and felt the pain in it and the longing. I just want to assure you that the longing that you are feeling can ONLY be filled with God. No human being can meet that need no matter how right they are for you.To think that will only set you up to be hurt.

Rest assured of my prayers and my understanding that this is a difficult time in your life. I can feel the pain in your writing and my heart aches for you. It will not always be so. I went through the annulment process over 4 years (almost 5 years ago now) and am only now as of a little over 2 weeks ago considering dating. I am not saying that it will be the same for you, or even that it is the right way, but I beg you to give yourself time to heal your heart and build your relationship with God. It will (your future marriage if your marriage is indeed declared null and void) and you will be so much happier if you do.

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Jan 19th 2013 new

Shara,
Thank you for starting this thread, I have sensed a change for the better in many/all of us, this week's mission accomplished. hug
Karen

"We are here to see each other through, not to see through each other."

And from the sign in front of the local Seventh Day Adventist church
"Wearing a halo too tight may cause headaches"

Halos are beams of Christ's light shining through us.

Dove

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Jan 19th 2013 new

(Quote) Karen-712407 said: Shara,Thank you for starting this thread, I have sensed a change for the better in many/all o...
(Quote) Karen-712407 said:

Shara,
Thank you for starting this thread, I have sensed a change for the better in many/all of us, this week's mission accomplished.
Karen

"We are here to see each other through, not to see through each other."

And from the sign in front of the local Seventh Day Adventist church
"Wearing a halo too tight may cause headaches"

Halos are beams of Christ's light shining through us.

--hide--

Thank you Karen. Ironically I had my Opus Dei morning of recollection this morning and the theme was unity as we are in the octave of unity in the Church.

In one of the talks they said something that struck me as so profound.

In the seeking of unity we are called to practice not tolerance but love. Tolerance is grounded solely in the avoidance of conflict. Love is grounded in truth that is tempered by charity in all things and circumstances coupled with a desire to lead all souls to God. Tolerance can often seek to elevate the dignity of the tolerator but love ALWAYS seeks to elevate the dignity of the loved.

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Jan 19th 2013 new

(Quote) Joseph-750000 said: Well said Bryan. Thanks for reminding us that the real problem is staring at us in the mirror. C...
(Quote) Joseph-750000 said:

Well said Bryan. Thanks for reminding us that the real problem is staring at us in the mirror. CM does not stand fo "Catholic Miracles" for singles.

--hide--


Hi Joseph! "Catholic Miracles"!! laughing I love it! Chelle

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Jan 19th 2013 new

I think what you might be experiencing is the raw emotion that many are feeling in the loss of a love relationship that that person drew from, such as a long term marriage or a love relationship that has gone sour and the person still cannot figure out why. I have been there when my ex surprised me with a divorce decree after what I thought was 17 successful years together, but I could never get him on the same page with me spiritually so I guess it was doomed from the start. When this occurred, I just had a lot of raw emotion and felt whole heartedly rejected. the world becomes a very ugly place for a while when these types of emotions take over. Sarcasm and anger are but a mask of the unresolved pain. Secular ways of thinking often creep into our emotions and sometimes it clouds our true perspective. I think that the best way to nip resentment in the bud is to ask yourself, am I writing this to vent my frustration and make myself feel good or do I have something genuinely good and decent to contribute, and think that somone will be uplifted spiritually by what it is I am going to say? If you cannot claim the latter, it is best that you blog and pour your vinegar elsewhere. I am Lutheran, but find it inspiritional that so many men and women in the Catholic Faith have wholistically incorporated their faith into their everyday life.

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Jan 19th 2013 new

(Quote) Beverly-527244 said: I think what you might be experiencing is the raw emotion that many are feeling in the loss of ...
(Quote) Beverly-527244 said:

I think what you might be experiencing is the raw emotion that many are feeling in the loss of a love relationship that that person drew from, such as a long term marriage or a love relationship that has gone sour and the person still cannot figure out why. I have been there when my ex surprised me with a divorce decree after what I thought was 17 successful years together, but I could never get him on the same page with me spiritually so I guess it was doomed from the start. When this occurred, I just had a lot of raw emotion and felt whole heartedly rejected. the world becomes a very ugly place for a while when these types of emotions take over. Sarcasm and anger are but a mask of the unresolved pain. Secular ways of thinking often creep into our emotions and sometimes it clouds our true perspective. I think that the best way to nip resentment in the bud is to ask yourself, am I writing this to vent my frustration and make myself feel good or do I have something genuinely good and decent to contribute, and think that somone will be uplifted spiritually by what it is I am going to say? If you cannot claim the latter, it is best that you blog and pour your vinegar elsewhere. I am Lutheran, but find it inspiritional that so many men and women in the Catholic Faith have wholistically incorporated their faith into their everyday life.

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You state a lot of hard won truth purified by suffering here Beverly. God bless you!

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Jan 19th 2013 new

(Quote) Donna-83441 said: Piety thy name is Marita..
(Quote) Donna-83441 said:


Piety thy name is Marita..

--hide--


So do I come across like that to you? I am truly sorry if I make you feel that way.

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Jan 19th 2013 new

(Quote) Kristen-878108 said: You state a lot of hard won truth purified by suffering here Beverly. God bless you...
(Quote) Kristen-878108 said:




You state a lot of hard won truth purified by suffering here Beverly. God bless you!

--hide--

ditto

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Jan 19th 2013 new

(Quote) Shara-929649 said: Opus Dei morning of recollection this morning and the theme was unity as we are in the ...
(Quote) Shara-929649 said:

Opus Dei morning of recollection this morning and the theme was unity as we are in the octave of unity in the Church. In one of the talks they said something that struck me as so profound.

In the seeking of unity we are called to practice not tolerance but love. Tolerance is grounded solely in the avoidance of conflict. Love is grounded in truth that is tempered by charity in all things and circumstances coupled with a desire to lead all souls to God. Tolerance can often seek to elevate the dignity of the tolerator but love ALWAYS seeks to elevate the dignity of the loved.

--hide--

I just love it when God sends messages of affirmation and clarification and in just the right timing? His of course.

love ALWAYS seeks to elevate the dignity of the loved.

biggrin

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Jan 19th 2013 new

(Quote) Marita-847688 said: (Quote) Donna-83441 said: Piety thy name is Marita.. ...
(Quote) Marita-847688 said:

Quote:
Donna-83441 said:


Piety thy name is Marita..



So do I come across like that to you? I am truly sorry if I make you feel that way.

--hide--


I was responding to this: I've also been told in the past that I can come across as looking like I think I'm better than others

It was a JOKE...

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