Andrew, thank you for this post. Probably a vast majority of my thoughts and feelings remain private most of the time... though I do struggle with drafting and sending a note here and there that should, perhaps, remain private.
Your feelings are shared, brother. Here's a shoulder of support for you and all the others here who are in similar situation of not being able to marry in the Church at this time. I think they have a smiley for that, as a matter of fact... Ah, yes...
Michael I understand that this is a hard period for you but you might want to view the situation not as not being able to be married in the Church but as still being married because you are. Since you are married, the Church and God requires you to be faithful to that spouse and seeking an outside relationship falls outside of that boundary. So it is more than not being able to be married in the Church but just practicing fidelity to your current spouse in a difficult time. That practice of the discipline of fidelity to sacramental marriage will prepare you to be a much better spouse in the future. Rather than focusing on the pain and on filling that void with another person use that time to learn to fill it with God. God often uses those periods of deep pain and longing as homing beacons to cleave us to his heart. By cleaving to his heart he will heal you from the pain and hurt from your broken marriage and make you a whole and healed person for your future spouse. This is a hard message to hear but it is the truth and because I care so deeply for your soul I will always tell you the truth. Trust me Michael but most of all use this time to trust God. No person or spouse can fill the void in our heart. Only God can and to have that expectation of a spouse will lead you to even further disappointment and hurt. A spouse is only meant to be a partner in the journey to God and the fullfillment that He brings but not the source of fullfillment. I hope that you take this in love and in the Spirit that it is meant to be.
I thought and prayed for a while before writing this post but I saw another post you wrote and felt the pain in it and the longing. I just want to assure you that the longing that you are feeling can ONLY be filled with God. No human being can meet that need no matter how right they are for you.To think that will only set you up to be hurt.
Rest assured of my prayers and my understanding that this is a difficult time in your life. I can feel the pain in your writing and my heart aches for you. It will not always be so. I went through the annulment process over 4 years (almost 5 years ago now) and am only now as of a little over 2 weeks ago considering dating. I am not saying that it will be the same for you, or even that it is the right way, but I beg you to give yourself time to heal your heart and build your relationship with God. It will (your future marriage if your marriage is indeed declared null and void) and you will be so much happier if you do.