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A place to learn, mingle, and share

Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jan 14th 2013 new

(Quote) Shara-929649 said: We truly want to hear what you you are thinking. That is the whole point of the thread. ...
(Quote) Shara-929649 said:

We truly want to hear what you you are thinking. That is the whole point of the thread. I want to apologize for responding to you sacarstically yeterday. I felt attacked when I read your statement and I was hurt and reacted badly to it.

--hide--
I accept your apology

LOCKED
Jan 14th 2013 new

(Quote) Angela-374523 said: Just some thoughts … “Why is there all this resentment?”. It may be ti...
(Quote) Angela-374523 said:

Just some thoughts …

“Why is there all this resentment?”. It may be time to vent ... constructively ... so here it goes. Some posters have been posting for a long time, and perhaps have been members of CM longer than others. It is frustrating to not find what you are looking for, and frustrations can come out in ways that can create misunderstandings. Moroever, not only differences of opinion, but also of temperament and communication styles can sometimes create misunderstandings. We type out words that come from our hearts and minds but everyone doesn’t always know where we are coming from.

This is what I observed in my time here: many posters come and go, but amongst the “regulars” in the fora at any given time, there definitely are people who reinforce each other and feed off each others’ viewpoints and comments – either negative or positive. Noticeable patterns start to emerge. “Oh look, Miss X just posted, guess what, Mr. Y and Mr. Z are going to attack / reinforce/ or post something that they posted six months ago that caused an uproar back then” – somehow oblivious to why and how they caused the uproar in the first place.

Sadly, this also happens. I can think of several examples of threads in the past that degenerated because of striving to be “more Catholic” than everyone else. Our faith is not a contest, there is no mathematical probability of being an 8/7 Catholic, and the Pharisees were not popular in the Bible either. That type of behavior and trying to deal with it in the forums in a charitable way that involves self-examination on everyone’s part (i.e. am I doing the right things/ being the best I can be/ following the faith properly / being kind in my words and deeds) can be utterly and completely exhausting. When we are exhausted, it is easier for frustrations and resentments to come out. We are human.

As Catholics, we may be in different places in our faith journey. Some experience doubt, discouragement, confusion or just lack the knowledge and information. That may come out in ways that rub people the wrong way. I’ve seen this too - instances where posters are disrespectful about their own faith and perhaps need to seriously reflect on where they are spiritually.

On CM, there are plenty of joke threads, music threads, cooking threads, and lighthearted word games, as well as prayer threads. In a broader context, there is so much about our faith that is uplifting, in which we can find encouragement and experience joy. Perhaps a greater focus on the positive is part of overall better spiritual well-being.

--hide--

Thanks for sharing that as you obviously gave it much thought and brought up some great points. I truly appreciate that. hug

LOCKED
Jan 14th 2013 new

(Quote) Brian-278516 said: I am going to generalize for the purpose of making a point but I do think that many original post...
(Quote) Brian-278516 said:

I am going to generalize for the purpose of making a point but I do think that many original posts (OP) which express frustration, hurt or anger are rarely looking for solutions but simply wanting others to affirm their feelings. Thus when someone offers disagreement or other perspective even with a authentic spirit of care and wanting to help it is usually shot down very defensively. While I can empathize & sympathize with this feeling it rarely is helpful to oneself or people around them especially a potential match.

--hide--


I think this is true... Perhaps is there a way to flag these OPs and put them into a different category like Prayer(?) right away.

They seem to come out as a frustration toward a whole sex, women or men and then it leads down a road of problems.

They seem to get locked eventually - but it seems to appear in the wording on the initial OP, sometimes not obvious to one sex.

LOCKED
Jan 14th 2013 new

While I generally agree with these comments and responses, I am concerned and would like to make a point.
As a practicing Catholic with a long way to go to sainthood, I hope the goal in communication is to charitably speak the truth, as defined by the church that Jesus Christ established two thousand years back. That is going to offend some people. Jesus offended people often. He sure offended the Pharisees. I'm sure Peter's feelings where hurt on a number of occasions (pick one), along with each of his disciples. Many of his own followers walked away hurt when he said in John 6 "Eat my body and drink my blood". Indeed, many walk away today from this basic teaching.

I hope the goal isn't to avoid hurting one another, because that is something that is out of ones control. If I say "abortion is wrong" for example, some one is going to be hurt and some one else will agree. I would just refer to the church and her teaching. The only way I can avoid hurting every one, is to omit the truth, and not defend it. (Actually I am hurting them, by withholding the truth.) That is a great problem in our culture. To be politically correct and non offensive is to deny the truth and accept the pervasive mentality of relativism and this culture of death. Jesus said in John 15:20 "If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you; if they kept My word, they will keep yours also." Some, or even most, are going to hate you if you speak the truth. If you avoid speaking it because you don't want to hurt someone, you may well be betraying the gospel. Mark 8:38 "For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will also be ashamed of him when He comes in the glory of His Father with the holy angels." Of course we have a responsibility to love one another, and that means to be sensitive to others and to be charitable, but it also means to boldly speak the truth because I must love them. It means to die to my selfishness and accept He who is the truth, way, and life and proclaim the gospel. How else can there be any growth? Isn't this what it means to evangelize? This is how souls are saved and how God saves others, as the Holy Spirit permits.

I will apologize for the effects of my sin; e.g. my selfishness, my impatience, my bad language, etc. I will not apologize for charitably speaking the truth to someone who can benefit from it, just because they might be hurt. All of this talk about how we make someone "feel", or how someone made me "feel" is disturbing to me. I want to grow in the truth of Christ and His church. It's going to take some humility, but I need to look at myself and see how I can further imitate and receive Christ, which should be the goal, not to avoid offending people or to cry out in defiance when my feelings are hurt. I will thank anyone who can help me see my short comings, rather than wallow in my "hurt". How I feel? Who cares? How does Jesus feel? That's what we should care about. Who I am in Christ is all that matters.

Having said all of this, I don't post much, and have only been a member for a few months. I also read the forums, and I do see a lack of charity at times. But I am grateful to those members who defend the truth and correct others. I assume they themselves are open to growth and maybe I can return the favor some day. Sure my feelings get hurt a bit, and again, so what? Maybe they could have been more sensitive; I forgive them. But I have to thank them. Hopefully when I am offended, I can take a careful look at myself, and ask a deeper question. Could I be wrong? If I am on the side of Jesus Christ and His church, then praise God, maybe I'm being persecuted like Jesus. Maybe God has just used me to plant a seed. On the other hand, if someone has pointed out how I am not on the side of Jesus and His church, then praise God, I have an opportunity to grow and humbly accept the truth, in spite of my hurt feelings, if I can see past them.

For goodness sake I hope we don't apologize for how we may or may not look to other people. We are all God's children. I pray that in charity, we can see past our selves, and seek the truth in others as they respond to us. I pray that we can speak the truth of Christ to others in our responses to them. I pray that we can grow in the body of Christ and the Holy Spirit can work His plan and not my own, for the glory of the Father.

LOCKED
Jan 14th 2013 new

(Quote) David-903579 said: While I generally agree with these comments and responses, I am concerned and would like to make ...
(Quote) David-903579 said:

While I generally agree with these comments and responses, I am concerned and would like to make a point.
As a practicing Catholic with a long way to go to sainthood, I hope the goal in communication is to charitably speak the truth, as defined by the church that Jesus Christ established two thousand years back. That is going to offend some people. Jesus offended people often. He sure offended the Pharisees. I'm sure Peter's feelings where hurt on a number of occasions (pick one), along with each of his disciples. Many of his own followers walked away hurt when he said in John 6 "Eat my body and drink my blood". Indeed, many walk away today from this basic teaching.

I hope the goal isn't to avoid hurting one another, because that is something that is out of ones control. If I say "abortion is wrong" for example, some one is going to be hurt and some one else will agree. I would just refer to the church and her teaching. The only way I can avoid hurting every one, is to omit the truth, and not defend it. (Actually I am hurting them, by withholding the truth.) That is a great problem in our culture. To be politically correct and non offensive is to deny the truth and accept the pervasive mentality of relativism and this culture of death. Jesus said in John 15:20 "If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you; if they kept My word, they will keep yours also." Some, or even most, are going to hate you if you speak the truth. If you avoid speaking it because you don't want to hurt someone, you may well be betraying the gospel. Mark 8:38 "For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will also be ashamed of him when He comes in the glory of His Father with the holy angels." Of course we have a responsibility to love one another, and that means to be sensitive to others and to be charitable, but it also means to boldly speak the truth because I must love them. It means to die to my selfishness and accept He who is the truth, way, and life and proclaim the gospel. How else can there be any growth? Isn't this what it means to evangelize? This is how souls are saved and how God saves others, as the Holy Spirit permits.

I will apologize for the effects of my sin; e.g. my selfishness, my impatience, my bad language, etc. I will not apologize for charitably speaking the truth to someone who can benefit from it, just because they might be hurt. All of this talk about how we make someone "feel", or how someone made me "feel" is disturbing to me. I want to grow in the truth of Christ and His church. It's going to take some humility, but I need to look at myself and see how I can further imitate and receive Christ, which should be the goal, not to avoid offending people or to cry out in defiance when my feelings are hurt. I will thank anyone who can help me see my short comings, rather than wallow in my "hurt". How I feel? Who cares? How does Jesus feel? That's what we should care about. Who I am in Christ is all that matters.

Having said all of this, I don't post much, and have only been a member for a few months. I also read the forums, and I do see a lack of charity at times. But I am grateful to those members who defend the truth and correct others. I assume they themselves are open to growth and maybe I can return the favor some day. Sure my feelings get hurt a bit, and again, so what? Maybe they could have been more sensitive; I forgive them. But I have to thank them. Hopefully when I am offended, I can take a careful look at myself, and ask a deeper question. Could I be wrong? If I am on the side of Jesus Christ and His church, then praise God, maybe I'm being persecuted like Jesus. Maybe God has just used me to plant a seed. On the other hand, if someone has pointed out how I am not on the side of Jesus and His church, then praise God, I have an opportunity to grow and humbly accept the truth, in spite of my hurt feelings, if I can see past them.

For goodness sake I hope we don't apologize for how we may or may not look to other people. We are all God's children. I pray that in charity, we can see past our selves, and seek the truth in others as they respond to us. I pray that we can speak the truth of Christ to others in our responses to them. I pray that we can grow in the body of Christ and the Holy Spirit can work His plan and not my own, for the glory of the Father.

--hide--

I agree with that in some ways as I would prefer to speak the truth and not offend Christ more than my peers as that is the greatest good. However, sometimes in doing that we can come off as condescending or self-righteaous and then the message is lost. We need to hate the sin and love the sinner. So I am not apologizing for speaking the truth but for not speaking it in a loving or humble way

LOCKED
Jan 14th 2013 new

Letting go of resentments is one of the best things we can do for ourselves. I like to use this little prayer every time I feel a little resentment coming on.


*Dear God, I have a resentment towards a person that I want to be free of. So, I am asking you to give this person everything I want for myself. Help me to feel compassionate understanding and love for this person. I pray that they will receive everything they need. Thank you God for your help and strength with this resentment.

LOCKED
Jan 14th 2013 new

I wholeheartedly agree! I have observed this site goes thru these types of things often. I also suggest that people pray for God's will to be done, and foster the myriad of possibilities that can be found if we can just open ourselves up to them and to TRUST GOD! Just saying!!

LOCKED
Jan 14th 2013 new

(Quote) Linda-624584 said: "I" will be pulling up a chair and getting my popcorn ready for this. "I" fee...
(Quote) Linda-624584 said:

"I" will be pulling up a chair and getting my popcorn ready for this. "I" feel this should prove to be an interesting topic.

--hide--



Linda, "I" feel you are such an optimist! Kisses you way.

LOCKED
Jan 14th 2013 new

(Quote) Karis-410918 said: Linda, "I" feel you are such an optimist! Kisses you way.
(Quote) Karis-410918 said:




Linda, "I" feel you are such an optimist! Kisses you way.

--hide--
Karis, "I" feel you are just to cute for words. Hugs and kisses back at ya. Oh, and I'll even share my popcorn with you. wink hug hersheyskiss wave

LOCKED
Jan 14th 2013 new

(Quote) David-903579 said: While I generally agree with these comments and responses, I am concerned and would like to make ...
(Quote) David-903579 said:

While I generally agree with these comments and responses, I am concerned and would like to make a point.
As a practicing Catholic with a long way to go to sainthood, I hope the goal in communication is to charitably speak the truth, as defined by the church that Jesus Christ established two thousand years back. That is going to offend some people. Jesus offended people often. He sure offended the Pharisees. I'm sure Peter's feelings where hurt on a number of occasions (pick one), along with each of his disciples. Many of his own followers walked away hurt when he said in John 6 "Eat my body and drink my blood". Indeed, many walk away today from this basic teaching.

I hope the goal isn't to avoid hurting one another, because that is something that is out of ones control. If I say "abortion is wrong" for example, some one is going to be hurt and some one else will agree. I would just refer to the church and her teaching. The only way I can avoid hurting every one, is to omit the truth, and not defend it. (Actually I am hurting them, by withholding the truth.) That is a great problem in our culture. To be politically correct and non offensive is to deny the truth and accept the pervasive mentality of relativism and this culture of death. Jesus said in John 15:20 "If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you; if they kept My word, they will keep yours also." Some, or even most, are going to hate you if you speak the truth. If you avoid speaking it because you don't want to hurt someone, you may well be betraying the gospel. Mark 8:38 "For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will also be ashamed of him when He comes in the glory of His Father with the holy angels." Of course we have a responsibility to love one another, and that means to be sensitive to others and to be charitable, but it also means to boldly speak the truth because I must love them. It means to die to my selfishness and accept He who is the truth, way, and life and proclaim the gospel. How else can there be any growth? Isn't this what it means to evangelize? This is how souls are saved and how God saves others, as the Holy Spirit permits.

I will apologize for the effects of my sin; e.g. my selfishness, my impatience, my bad language, etc. I will not apologize for charitably speaking the truth to someone who can benefit from it, just because they might be hurt. All of this talk about how we make someone "feel", or how someone made me "feel" is disturbing to me. I want to grow in the truth of Christ and His church. It's going to take some humility, but I need to look at myself and see how I can further imitate and receive Christ, which should be the goal, not to avoid offending people or to cry out in defiance when my feelings are hurt. I will thank anyone who can help me see my short comings, rather than wallow in my "hurt". How I feel? Who cares? How does Jesus feel? That's what we should care about. Who I am in Christ is all that matters.

Having said all of this, I don't post much, and have only been a member for a few months. I also read the forums, and I do see a lack of charity at times. But I am grateful to those members who defend the truth and correct others. I assume they themselves are open to growth and maybe I can return the favor some day. Sure my feelings get hurt a bit, and again, so what? Maybe they could have been more sensitive; I forgive them. But I have to thank them. Hopefully when I am offended, I can take a careful look at myself, and ask a deeper question. Could I be wrong? If I am on the side of Jesus Christ and His church, then praise God, maybe I'm being persecuted like Jesus. Maybe God has just used me to plant a seed. On the other hand, if someone has pointed out how I am not on the side of Jesus and His church, then praise God, I have an opportunity to grow and humbly accept the truth, in spite of my hurt feelings, if I can see past them.

For goodness sake I hope we don't apologize for how we may or may not look to other people. We are all God's children. I pray that in charity, we can see past our selves, and seek the truth in others as they respond to us. I pray that we can speak the truth of Christ to others in our responses to them. I pray that we can grow in the body of Christ and the Holy Spirit can work His plan and not my own, for the glory of the Father.

--hide--

Very well said.

LOCKED
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