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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jan 15th 2013 new

Oh heck, there is nothing wrong with cuddling. I cuddle with my kids and give them kisses. They are teenagers and one is going to be an adult soon, but I can't help myself. They have such soft skin, hehe. So whether they like it or not I give them Big smooches on their cheeks! It would be the same with a gentleman. Mind you I said gentleman biggrin and besides, if your watching TV your probably not thinking other thoughts and hopefully you have a strong relationship by this time with good boundaries and morality.


I love hug hug hug


Jan 15th 2013 new

(Quote) Jerry-74383 said: Sorry, Bob, but that wasn't chaste. More chaste than most people would have been -- a...
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said:

Sorry, Bob, but that wasn't chaste. More chaste than most people would have been -- absolutely. But the fact you have been struggling with these memories as you have been all these years later shows there was a problem. Bob, you have strong moral values and character and may well resist the temptations to let these memories lead to problems in your life or hers. But would everyone, or even most, be the same? Google [ Facebook divorce ] and read some of the stories if you have any doubts.

The demons that are responsible for the spiritual warfare in the world today are a tricky bunch. And very patient, for their concept of time is very different from ours -- our lifetimes are a blink of an eye to them. The weak they can take down at any time. The truly strong and diligent may require an all-out spiritual battle. But for the vast majority of those who don't succumb immediately, we make their job easier by leaving little cracks in the foundation they can chip away at, a little at a time. The wall won't crumble today, tomorrow, or even next month. But if we don't fill those tiny, seemingly harmless, gaps, eventually they become larger and larger, an ultimately the wall starts to crumble. Not all at once, but piece by piece.

Cuddling (outside marriage) is one of those cracks. Some may fall fairly quickly. Some may take a few weeks or months. Others 20 or 30 years. True, some never will. But that doesn't mean they won't have to battle the temptations. Is it worth the risk of offending God for a few minutes/hours of physical comfort?

--hide--


The last person I cuddled with, I spent 31 years with. I hope like crazy to have that opportunity again.

I don't understand why everyone imposes these unexpected barriers on bonding with each other. Cuddling is natural and part of the process of getting to know each other. It builds trust. If it leads to something you don't want, get up and make popcorn. If you can't trust yourself with someone before you marry them, how will you trust them to protect your heart after an argument or when you are most vulnerable.

Having those feelings of attraction are necessary and important. They were given to us by our maker. Without them, I doubt anyone would get married. So, I say get out there and cuddle. Let your significant other know that you care, that you enjoy being with them and that they are trusted. And if you are lucky, that will grow into love and no one is going to disrespect that from you.

Jan 15th 2013 new

(Quote) Kathy-635104 said: The last person I cuddled with, I spent 31 years with. I hope like crazy to have that opp...
(Quote) Kathy-635104 said:



The last person I cuddled with, I spent 31 years with. I hope like crazy to have that opportunity again.

I don't understand why everyone imposes these unexpected barriers on bonding with each other. Cuddling is natural and part of the process of getting to know each other. It builds trust. If it leads to something you don't want, get up and make popcorn. If you can't trust yourself with someone before you marry them, how will you trust them to protect your heart after an argument or when you are most vulnerable.

Having those feelings of attraction are necessary and important. They were given to us by our maker. Without them, I doubt anyone would get married. So, I say get out there and cuddle. Let your significant other know that you care, that you enjoy being with them and that they are trusted. And if you are lucky, that will grow into love and no one is going to disrespect that from you.

--hide--

I agree with both Cathy and Kathy. I think that cuddling is a natural expression of love that I too share with my kids all the time. The guy I spent time with at Fran Univ was an extremely chaste and by the books fella ( the good books-that is the bible and catechism) and we cuddled all the time and we stayed chaste. I know this as we had very open and honest discussions about everything because we shared an intense praylife together and protecting each others souls was our goal.

Sometimes while praying together during our hour of adoration we would put our arms around each other while we prayed the rosary or the divine mercy chaplet or even when just sitting in the quiet contemplating Christ. It was praying in onesness. Sometimes we would even put our arms around each other during mass especially in the time of prayer in the pews after recieving Jesus. While that relationship did not work out due to outside circumstances ( not able to share as it is not mine to share), it was a time of love and growth in Christ that was something that I cherish and it was an extremely chaste relationship to say the least. We were both in regular confession and spiritual direction and neither of our directors had problems with it. to answer the coming questions both of our directors were conservative.

If you are with a guy who due to his past has issues with touch then I would of course respect his struggle and not engage in anything that would jeopardize his soul. If you are in that position then I think that of course avoiding the occassion for sin is always absolutely necessary. However I do not agree that cuddling is ALWAYS an unchaste action. By the way I went to school with Jason Everet and he cuddled chastely.

Jan 15th 2013 new

(Quote) Shara-929649 said: I agree with both Cathy and Kathy. I think that cuddling is a natural expression of love...
(Quote) Shara-929649 said:

I agree with both Cathy and Kathy. I think that cuddling is a natural expression of love that I too share with my kids all the time. The guy I spent time with at Fran Univ was an extremely chaste and by the books fella ( the good books-that is the bible and catechism) and we cuddled all the time and we stayed chaste. I know this as we had very open and honest discussions about everything because we shared an intense praylife together and protecting each others souls was our goal.

Sometimes while praying together during our hour of adoration we would put our arms around each other while we prayed the rosary or the divine mercy chaplet or even when just sitting in the quiet contemplating Christ. It was praying in onesness. Sometimes we would even put our arms around each other during mass especially in the time of prayer in the pews after recieving Jesus. While that relationship did not work out due to outside circumstances ( not able to share as it is not mine to share), it was a time of love and growth in Christ that was something that I cherish and it was an extremely chaste relationship to say the least. We were both in regular confession and spiritual direction and neither of our directors had problems with it. to answer the coming questions both of our directors were conservative.

If you are with a guy who due to his past has issues with touch then I would of course respect his struggle and not engage in anything that would jeopardize his soul. If you are in that position then I think that of course avoiding the occassion for sin is always absolutely necessary. However I do not agree that cuddling is ALWAYS an unchaste action. By the way I went to school with Jason Everet and he cuddled chastely.

--hide--


In Minnesota we cuddle for survival. Sharing body heat is essential to growing old.

Jan 15th 2013 new

(Quote) Kathy-635104 said: In Minnesota we cuddle for survival. Sharing body heat is essential to growing old. <...
(Quote) Kathy-635104 said:



In Minnesota we cuddle for survival. Sharing body heat is essential to growing old.

--hide--

laughing laughing laughing

Jan 15th 2013 new
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said: How so? Cuddling is a physical act; how do you get to know each other better as people just from...
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said:



How so? Cuddling is a physical act; how do you get to know each other better as people just from cuddling? (While cuddling often occurs in conjunction with, and may even facilitate to some extent, verbal discussions, the building of the relationships occurs as a result of those discussions, which can (and arguably should) occur without the cuddling.



I think about all you can tell about a person from the fact they are willing to cuddle for an extended period without pushing the envelope further is that they have good self-control, a low libido, or they aren't interested in the other person physically. Granted, people can, and often do, draw other conclusions; whether such conclusions are rationally inferred from the circumstances is another story.



I'm sure that many will be inclined to fire off an immediate response supporting Bob's statement. For those who manage to make it this far without having done so, I challenge to you think about this for a while rather than responding based on an emotional response. Think about past relationships, especially those where you eventually discovered the person wasn't anything like you initially believed, and reflect on how the physical intimacy -- at whatever level -- may have caused you to either completely miss or ignore signs that may have foretold the eventual outcome of the relationship.





--hide--
Actually I must say I agree with you that cuddling can foretell how a relationship will progress or not. I am thankful for the long term friendship I had with someone but cuddling was very platonic with him and the feelings never progressed beyond friends....friends can be a good thing ESP when you learn a lot about yourself in the process.
Jan 15th 2013 new

(Quote) Shara-929649 said: I agree with both Cathy and Kathy. I think that cuddling is a natural expression of love...
(Quote) Shara-929649 said:

I agree with both Cathy and Kathy. I think that cuddling is a natural expression of love that I too share with my kids all the time. The guy I spent time with at Fran Univ was an extremely chaste and by the books fella ( the good books-that is the bible and catechism) and we cuddled all the time and we stayed chaste. I know this as we had very open and honest discussions about everything because we shared an intense praylife together and protecting each others souls was our goal.

Sometimes while praying together during our hour of adoration we would put our arms around each other while we prayed the rosary or the divine mercy chaplet or even when just sitting in the quiet contemplating Christ. It was praying in onesness. Sometimes we would even put our arms around each other during mass especially in the time of prayer in the pews after recieving Jesus. While that relationship did not work out due to outside circumstances ( not able to share as it is not mine to share), it was a time of love and growth in Christ that was something that I cherish and it was an extremely chaste relationship to say the least. We were both in regular confession and spiritual direction and neither of our directors had problems with it. to answer the coming questions both of our directors were conservative.

If you are with a guy who due to his past has issues with touch then I would of course respect his struggle and not engage in anything that would jeopardize his soul. If you are in that position then I think that of course avoiding the occassion for sin is always absolutely necessary. However I do not agree that cuddling is ALWAYS an unchaste action. By the way I went to school with Jason Everet and he cuddled chastely.

--hide--

I want to also point out that what I cherish most about that relationship is how much I grew in my faith and how much it helped me deepen my relationship with God.

Jan 15th 2013 new

Being how I love to cuddle I am going to plead the 5th on this one tongue

Jan 15th 2013 new
(Quote) Kathy-635104 said: The last person I cuddled with, I spent 31 years with. I hope like crazy to have that opportunity again...
(Quote) Kathy-635104 said:



The last person I cuddled with, I spent 31 years with. I hope like crazy to have that opportunity again.

I don't understand why everyone imposes these unexpected barriers on bonding with each other. Cuddling is natural and part of the process of getting to know each other. It builds trust. If it leads to something you don't want, get up and make popcorn. If you can't trust yourself with someone before you marry them, how will you trust them to protect your heart after an argument or when you are most vulnerable.

Having those feelings of attraction are necessary and important. They were given to us by our maker. Without them, I doubt anyone would get married. So, I say get out there and cuddle. Let your significant other know that you care, that you enjoy being with them and that they are trusted. And if you are lucky, that will grow into love and no one is going to disrespect that from you.

--hide--
I think you are right Kathy. I don't think it is offensive to God to cuddle or hug and don't quite get that reference. He wants us to love others as we love ourselves, right? Maybe.just the way we raised. My mom hugged and kissed us all the time. Even now, unless it is a stranger or a professional relationship, if you would enter or leave my house, I would hug you. Even if I meet my sister at a store for shopping, I kiss and hug her hello and goodbye. I don't want to be distant to the people I love either. I like that idea of yours about body warmth Kathy. You are a constant source of smiles and laughter.
Jan 15th 2013 new

(Quote) Abel-914821 said: ... Hearts are the hardest thing to understand . Maybe that's why we cherish / guard them so deeply ....
(Quote) Abel-914821 said: ... Hearts are the hardest thing to understand . Maybe that's why we cherish / guard them so deeply .
--hide--

Ah..from a Person of Interest rerun a couple of weeks ago...Finch suggested to someone seeking to solve a mystery ----> the heart.

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