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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

01/15/2013 new

(Quote) Kathy-635104 said: (Quote) Shara-929649 said: I agree with both Cathy and Kathy. I t...
(Quote) Kathy-635104 said:

Quote:
Shara-929649 said:

I agree with both Cathy and Kathy. I think that cuddling is a natural expression of love that I too share with my kids all the time. The guy I spent time with at Fran Univ was an extremely chaste and by the books fella ( the good books-that is the bible and catechism) and we cuddled all the time and we stayed chaste. I know this as we had very open and honest discussions about everything because we shared an intense praylife together and protecting each others souls was our goal.

Sometimes while praying together during our hour of adoration we would put our arms around each other while we prayed the rosary or the divine mercy chaplet or even when just sitting in the quiet contemplating Christ. It was praying in onesness. Sometimes we would even put our arms around each other during mass especially in the time of prayer in the pews after recieving Jesus. While that relationship did not work out due to outside circumstances ( not able to share as it is not mine to share), it was a time of love and growth in Christ that was something that I cherish and it was an extremely chaste relationship to say the least. We were both in regular confession and spiritual direction and neither of our directors had problems with it. to answer the coming questions both of our directors were conservative.

If you are with a guy who due to his past has issues with touch then I would of course respect his struggle and not engage in anything that would jeopardize his soul. If you are in that position then I think that of course avoiding the occassion for sin is always absolutely necessary. However I do not agree that cuddling is ALWAYS an unchaste action. By the way I went to school with Jason Everet and he cuddled chastely.




In Minnesota we cuddle for survival. Sharing body heat is essential to growing old.

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I have dated two men who were 'Touch me Nots' I am a 'toucher'. I am very physically affectionate in a relationship..One of these did not even like to kiss and told me I liked to kiss 'too much'.. He was 37 when we dated and passed away in his early 50's never married. He achieved a lot in his career as a radio journalist, won lots of awards, but his private life was empty.. I didn't know there was such a thing as kissing too much when you love someone.. His lack of physical affection broke our relationship as I suspect it broke the one before me.. You want to talk about 'Gifting' though. He would give the shirt off his back... But most women don't want gifts in an absence of affection.

01/15/2013 new

As someone else remarked, it depends on your intent.
Cuddling, to me, can be... just sweetly resting your head on the others shoulder.
A soft,gentle, togetherness while sitting close to one another.
I guess the best way to define it is ...the same sweet closeness you would have with your children with no other intent than to just be in each others space as a loving presence.

01/15/2013 new

(Quote) Jerry-74383 said Sorry, Bob, but that wasn't chaste. More chaste than most people would have been -- absolutely....
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said

Sorry, Bob, but that wasn't chaste. More chaste than most people would have been -- absolutely. But the fact you have been struggling with these memories as you have been all these years later shows there was a problem. Bob, you have strong moral values and character and may well resist the temptations to let these memories lead to problems in your life or hers....Is it worth the risk of offending God for a few minutes/hours of physical comfort?

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Jerry - for a very rare time I disagree w/ you. If people can't show concern for each other, in a totally non-sexual way, then I very much question the concept of love.

One of our Deacons said once a person loves another, as God loves us, that the one who was loved is NEVER forgotten (I wonder if God has to "forget" those who are sent to, what you wisely coined, the Eternal Soul-Roast?). I met that woman 43 years ago tonite, and very much thank God that He's allowing me to remember the truly good woman she was (hopefully still is). If I ever marry, my bride will, at least, be like that woman from years ago. If not, then I would be "settling", a word that long-ago GF would not do. I continue to pray, and believe, I will find another like her.


Other than the above, please keep pointing your moral compass in the right direction. You ARE doing good things. Highest respect, Bob



01/15/2013 new

(Quote) Joanna-902684 said: I like your reply Bob. "What the world needs now is Love,sweet Love"Keep Cuddl...
(Quote) Joanna-902684 said:

I like your reply Bob. "What the world needs now is Love,sweet Love"

Keep Cuddling!!!

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Thank you. That song, by Jackie Deshannon (hope people play that on youtube) was popular one year before I met that woman.

01/15/2013 new

(Quote) Bob-59786 said: Depends on the couple. A couple committed to a chaste courtship sees cuddling as a way to g...
(Quote) Bob-59786 said:

Depends on the couple. A couple committed to a chaste courtship sees cuddling as a way to get into each other's heart and soul, w/ no sexual motives.

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I agree with Bob. If you both have good communication and trust, it is a short of bonding and like Bob said, "a way to get into each other's heart and soul". Of course, if things start to take a turn, that is when you speak up and communicate to the person that you both need a time out!

01/15/2013 new

(Quote) JerryHow does cuddling help you discern this is the person you should marry? How does it bring you and the other person clo...
(Quote) JerryHow does cuddling help you discern this is the person you should marry? How does it bring you and the other person closer to God?
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She told me she knew our relationship would stay totally chaste before she ever placed her head on my shoulder. We trusted and respected each other, and began each Sat nite date attending Vigil Mass together.

I remember a carnival ride where she got sick, and immedately placed herself in my arms saying "hold me"...a sign of protection and trust.

01/15/2013 new

(Quote) Abel-914821 said: Awesome question . There's a book called the 5 Love languages that taught me alot about what makes me...
(Quote) Abel-914821 said: Awesome question . There's a book called the 5 Love languages that taught me alot about what makes me tick . I deeply appreciate a warm touch of appreciation and at other times , a sincere touch of love that say " my barriers are removed for you through "trust " to be close " . Not everyone allows that at the same time . Not to say its a rejection , just some people see appreciation and expressions of Love through a different channel and time frame . Hearts are the hardest thing to understand . Maybe that's why we cherish / guard them so deeply .
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Abel, And yes, since we only have ONE heart, we have to guard it so very carefully! biggrin theheart

01/15/2013 new

I'd say if you have a desire to cuddle, it means you are so attracted to the person and want to have a deep relationship with him/her. two cents I'd also say men and women see cuddling the same.

01/15/2013 new

I think it depends on the couple. They ought to be able to discuss how they see physical touch and what their specific weaknesses are, and take it from there.

01/15/2013 new

(Quote) Joanna-902684 said: I like your reply Bob. "What the world needs now is Love,sweet Love"Keep Cuddl...
(Quote) Joanna-902684 said:

I like your reply Bob. "What the world needs now is Love,sweet Love"

Keep Cuddling!!!

--hide--

Didn't realize Jackie is a Kentuckian ....can't paste the URL on my tablet. Play the youtube "Put A Little Love In Your Heart" which has a big heart at the beginning.

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