Faith Focused Dating. Create your Free Profile and meet your Match! Sign Up for Free
A place to learn, mingle, and share

Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people 45+. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

The story of Abraham and Sarah is told in chapters 11-25 of the book of Genesis.
Learn More:Abraham & Sarah

01/20/2013 new

Be of good hope, Marion. While I agree with Flannery O'Connor that "a good man is hard to find", there are gentlemen out there. Granted, the ones I presently know in person are mostly either married or priests. rolling eyes However, I have received a polite thank you from a gentleman on here who was not interested. Soooo, be of good hope. Jeremiah 29:13 always helps me when I am discouraged.

~Jeanette

01/20/2013 new

Thanks again everyone. I've been thinking a lot (and I've still had no replies) and I'd like to ask a couple more questions on this topic. 1. Is location really that important i.e. nobody wants to even consider someone who lives a long way away? and 2. Are people just sitting around waiting to see a profile that fits their mental image of their ideal partner, and won't give anyone else a chance?


I just want to say something. I'm a widow, and I met my husband because he advertised in a Catholic paper and someone talked me into replying. (oh those pre-internet days!) We met up and I didn't hear from him again so I "chased" him. I want you all to know that he was totally unlike my "ideal husband" image and I'm pretty sure I was not his dream woman! But he did have two redeeming features - he was a good Catholic, and he laughed at my jokes. We were blessed with 18 years together and 5 children.


So what I'm trying to say is that when I send a message, it means that I have seen something I like. It may not be much, it may just be, hey I like dogs too, or maybe they put something funny that made me laugh. It doesn't mean I think they are the man of my dreams! So it would be nice to get a reponse, even if they do think I'm too far away, or too fat or whatever. Because you never know. If nothing comes of it, never mind. Maybe we'll just be friends.


God bless you all.

01/20/2013 new

(Quote) Jeanette-848045 said: Be of good hope, Marion. While I agree with Flannery O'Connor that "a good man is har...
(Quote) Jeanette-848045 said:

Be of good hope, Marion. While I agree with Flannery O'Connor that "a good man is hard to find", there are gentlemen out there. Granted, the ones I presently know in person are mostly either married or priests. However, I have received a polite thank you from a gentleman on here who was not interested. Soooo, be of good hope. Jeremiah 29:13 always helps me when I am discouraged.

~Jeanette

--hide--


You made me chuckle Jeanette - as we used to say "I've often met Mr Right - unfortunately Mrs right was always standing next to him". laughing

01/20/2013 new

You're not alone...I have given up completely and barely look at the site now...I am told that I should join forums etc...don't really have time to sit there all day on a forum...you know there is washing, cooking, cleaning, shopping, reading...lots of stuff to do. However I thought I would give it a shot...and I have.

01/20/2013 new

absolutely!!!

01/20/2013 new

(Quote) Marion-824292 said: Thanks again everyone. I've been thinking a lot (and I've still had no replies) and I...
(Quote) Marion-824292 said:

Thanks again everyone. I've been thinking a lot (and I've still had no replies) and I'd like to ask a couple more questions on this topic. 1. Is location really that important i.e. nobody wants to even consider someone who lives a long way away? and 2. Are people just sitting around waiting to see a profile that fits their mental image of their ideal partner, and won't give anyone else a chance?


I just want to say something. I'm a widow, and I met my husband because he advertised in a Catholic paper and someone talked me into replying. (oh those pre-internet days!) We met up and I didn't hear from him again so I "chased" him. I want you all to know that he was totally unlike my "ideal husband" image and I'm pretty sure I was not his dream woman! But he did have two redeeming features - he was a good Catholic, and he laughed at my jokes. We were blessed with 18 years together and 5 children.


So what I'm trying to say is that when I send a message, it means that I have seen something I like. It may not be much, it may just be, hey I like dogs too, or maybe they put something funny that made me laugh. It doesn't mean I think they are the man of my dreams! So it would be nice to get a reponse, even if they do think I'm too far away, or too fat or whatever. Because you never know. If nothing comes of it, never mind. Maybe we'll just be friends.


God bless you all.

--hide--



Marion,

If all you are doing is saying a simple, "hello" and maybe one or two lines, then the man is remiss in not replying with a simple, "Thank you."

As I said, if you send a message that requires a detailed response, you may not hear anything back.


I hope this helps.


01/20/2013 new

(Quote) Marion-824292 said: It takes a lot of courage for me to send a message, or even an emotigram, to someone whos profil...
(Quote) Marion-824292 said:

It takes a lot of courage for me to send a message, or even an emotigram, to someone whos profile I like. I do appreciate that I am unlikely to be any man's "ideal", but feel a bit puzzled that NOBODY has replied to me at all. I have sent half a dozen messages to different gentlemen since Christmas. I would have thought it would be simple good manners to respond, especially in the - dare I say it - older age group to which I belong. Could I have some suggestions please, as I'm thinking I'm doing something wrong? Thanks in advance.

--hide--
Sunglasses! Folks scrolling through online profiles generally skip over those where they cannot see the person's eyes.

“The eyes are the mirror of the soul”

~ Yiddish Proverb

I recently took a picture of my extended family in Florida where sunglasses are a survival tool, and had them all remove theirs. Of course I chose an overcast day to avoid any squinting. Just a suggestion from an old Navy photographer.

Blessings and good luck~ theheart crossfingers

01/20/2013 new

It's CM

01/20/2013 new

Hi Marion, I've pondered this myself. I tend to be a talker and that also translates into wordy when in written form. I also tend to be pretty transparent so I share. I think however there is an expectation already in place that contact has to be or is geared only to potential mates. Had I met some of these gentlemen through my profession and sent the same emails, we would be having a lively email correspondence and maybe even lunch or beers in the evening after work just because its enjoyable and we have things to talk about, are intelligent and articulate and can be funny. We'd sign off at night and not think twice about it. We'd say goodnight in the parking lot and go our separate ways and not think twice about it.

I think it is a bit delusional to think that the initial messages are anything but saying high, feeling out similar interests etc. I know I don't really have a clue if I like the other person or not and there is no way they could know that about me either. And, it very well may be that at the end I'd like to correspond because I like the person but know they are not my love interest. But, not making a connection on that level doesn't mean we might not make connections on other levels and I think it is a disservice to oneself to not respond in a cordial manner to all messages, and see what friendships might develop as well.

After responding to a similar forum question, I went back to my messages and realized I had to emotigrams that I had not responded to, so I sent emotigrams back. I have to say, I don't get the emotigram thing except for maybe holidays or the first message or two and perhaps interpersed in later correspondence when you want the other person to know you were thinking about them but didn't have time to necessarily write.

Additionally, what would be difficult about saying A.) I only check messages once or twice a week, so don't worry if you don't hear back right away. or B.) I'll be out of town for the next three weeks, I'll get back with you when I get back?

That way no one is rereading their emails to see if they said something horrible and didn't realize it, or wondering if you did something else wrong. or C.) if you get a long email with lots of questions -- pick one and answer that and say too many questions to ponder at one time with a smile. . .

01/21/2013 new

It's not you Marion, in the cyber world of dating we circumvent Mother nature, we only see a picture and what we write for others to see and are judged solely on that, it's not the same as running into somebody at the store or at an event where a person can see you and feel your Spirit, i find it very disapointing and guilty at the same time.

Posts 11 - 20 of 81