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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people 45+. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

The story of Abraham and Sarah is told in chapters 11-25 of the book of Genesis.
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Jan 21st 2013 new

(Quote) Jim-934923 said: It's not you Marion, in the cyber world of dating we circumvent Mother nature, we only see a pi...
(Quote) Jim-934923 said:

It's not you Marion, in the cyber world of dating we circumvent Mother nature, we only see a picture and what we write for others to see and are judged solely on that, it's not the same as running into somebody at the store or at an event where a person can see you and feel your Spirit, i find it very disapointing and guilty at the same time.

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Agreed, Jim. I've liked a lot of the things on here - sunglasses! who'd have thought? but it makes sense - anyway, when I send messages I always keep it to 4-5 lines at most, just saying that I enjoyed reading his profile and would like to learn more about....x...y...z.... Then I give him the option (sweetly, of course) to reply back with a "sure, we can message" or a "not interested at this time" sort of suggestion. Leaves the door open either way for future contact, keeps things a bit neutral at first, and says that I won't be bugging him if he's just up front with me right away. I don't have time to do the guessing thing, and what the heck is this site designed for anyway?!?!?! don't worry, my "viewed me" guys usually don't get past the line where it says I have five kids. still at home. ages 5-16. Great advertising huh? ;-)

Jan 21st 2013 new

Peter, I totally agree. I still find this to be totally disturbing. People should clearly state in their profile , "I am thoughtless and do not see your humanity" along with the parts about how important God is to them and and their glittering personality. Truth in advertising.


This is particularly hard on women. Men are use to initiating, get a lot of rejection and generally feel they just dodged a bullet.


Jim

Jan 21st 2013 new

This is the kind and classy thing to do. Often it may mean a follow up bout of mail but surely we can spare a few moments.

When does the big day come when we behave as we say we believe? Seldom. And important moments come and go, often unnoticed, with us minutely but definitively moving in this or that direction.


Jim

Jan 21st 2013 new

(Quote) Jim-149694 said: Peter, I totally agree. I still find this to be totally disturbing. People should clearly state in ...
(Quote) Jim-149694 said:

Peter, I totally agree. I still find this to be totally disturbing. People should clearly state in their profile , "I am thoughtless and do not see your humanity" along with the parts about how important God is to them and and their glittering personality. Truth in advertising.


This is particularly hard on women. Men are use to initiating, get a lot of rejection and generally feel they just dodged a bullet.


Jim

--hide--

How about adding a check box to make it simple?

Just under it we can have one for "I tend to jump to uncharitable conclusions about other people without thinking of alternate explanations for the situation."

Jan 21st 2013 new

(Quote) Jim-149694 said: Peter, I totally agree. I still find this to be totally disturbing. People should clearly state in ...
(Quote) Jim-149694 said:

Peter, I totally agree. I still find this to be totally disturbing. People should clearly state in their profile , "I am thoughtless and do not see your humanity" along with the parts about how important God is to them and and their glittering personality. Truth in advertising.


This is particularly hard on women. Men are use to initiating, get a lot of rejection and generally feel they just dodged a bullet.


Jim

--hide--
Jim, I am sure you didn't mean your comment as humorous, but it made me laugh out loud! Better, yet, rather than posting such statements ourselves, perhaps there could be a "reviews" section (like on amazon.com) that give others perspectives on communication with that person. Lol!

Jan 21st 2013 new

(Quote) Marion-824292 said: It takes a lot of courage for me to send a message, or even an emotigram, to someone whos profil...
(Quote) Marion-824292 said:

It takes a lot of courage for me to send a message, or even an emotigram, to someone whos profile I like. I do appreciate that I am unlikely to be any man's "ideal", but feel a bit puzzled that NOBODY has replied to me at all. I have sent half a dozen messages to different gentlemen since Christmas. I would have thought it would be simple good manners to respond, especially in the - dare I say it - older age group to which I belong. Could I have some suggestions please, as I'm thinking I'm doing something wrong? Thanks in advance.

--hide--



Marion, don't be too hard on yourself. After my own initial Pollyanna-ish idealism when first joining CM where I envisioned many wonderful dates and LDRs I have also been initiated and now understand CM exists well below heaven and is definitely still part of this broken place we called "the world." CM is helping me to have a sense of humor about myself and other people (and online dating) and teaching me a lot about myself - that I need more patience and shouldn't try so hard (constant themes in my life). Not to add to the annoying oft-repeated mantra that CM is a great place to make friends, but I think it is! While you will find many people literally live in virtual reality in their idealistic hopes about the type of person they'll be able to match with on here, you will also find many profoundly kind, gentle, thoughtful souls who are a real blessing to encounter. But that's definitely not why I initially (virtually) swiped the old credit card to join. So, blessings to you as you make lots of friends and perhaps eventually find a relationship!

Jan 21st 2013 new

Marion you have a great profile and I'd say you are great company. Do NOT take no response too personally.

I have largely had a similar experience with a couple of exceptions. I do think location is a major factor (or at least I like to think it is :). Most members are in the States. But the the other two issues are kids and the format itself. I really think many people do not want to get involved with someone with kids, young kids especially. The format and functions of the site are pretty poor in presenting anyone in any kind of 3D. People are stats and where you have large numbers and a list of variables and filter options then people will have only the option of selecting on variables that hold absolute weight because they are not balanced against / set in the context of a real fabulous dynamic person.


I tell you what (sorry moderator) this whole area of Catholic dating and Catholic virtual community is ripe for the picking by a dynamic interactive site :)....


Having said that I joined last year for a couple of months and made a best friend. We still message daily and are very close even though we've never met, its not romantic so from that perspective its been worth it :).

Someone mentioned there are people on here for 10-12 years? Can I ask why?

Godbless All!

M

Jan 21st 2013 new

One phrase: "consumer sensitivity"

www.yalereviewofbooks.com

This brainchild has a way of growing into something much more shallow. I like to play the game at times but sling a few arrows at the less enlightened. It keeps me sane.

wink

Jan 21st 2013 new

I have thought about it.

Jan 21st 2013 new

Kristen,


Pretty much everything I write has humor in it, if only visible to me.


People DO have good reasons for what they do and don't do as Jerry reminds me. I just see a lot of hurt in ignoring people.

Jim

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