Faith Focused Dating. Create your Free Profile and meet your Match! Sign Up for Free

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

A place to learn, mingle, and share

Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people 45+. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

The story of Abraham and Sarah is told in chapters 11-25 of the book of Genesis.
Learn More:Abraham & Sarah

Feb 3rd 2013 new

Prior to meeting someone on CM, I received a few messages from women. Here is my two cents...

I always replied, but....

If all I got was an emoticon, I usually only replied back with a very short one line message...if the woman was not willing to write a sentence or two indicating what she liked in my profile, I figured we were not going to be a good fit...too timid and unsure of herself.

If all I got was a one line message that was generic, as in "Have a nice day..", then see above...too timid. I want to know what you saw in me that made you contact me.

If I got a long rambling message that was mostly focused on you rather than me, I would also reply with only a short note. I'm not interested in women who think they are way more important than me. Tell me a little about yourself, but a half page letter about your bad day at work is not a good way to get me to respond with much more than "thanks for writing."

If I got a brief, three or four sentence note that mentions a couple of things that you liked in my profile, now you have my interest. You have shown me you actually read my profile, you found something you liked, you told me about it, and now the ball is my court. And if I got this kind of note, I usually wrote back with a similar note.

And if you wrote a brief note about what you liked in my profile, AND you asked me just one question that invites me to respond, now we have a conversation starting up.

...and that is how I first became interested in the woman I met here...she wrote to me, she mentioned some things she liked in my profile, and she asked me a question about where I grew up. I wrote back, answering the question, and off we went!



Feb 3rd 2013 new

This is perfect Bernard. I am going to copy this to my computer. Sometimes I don't know what to say. This really helps. Thank you.

Feb 3rd 2013 new

(Quote) Carolyn-896104 said: This is perfect Bernard. I am going to copy this to my computer. Sometimes I don't know wha...
(Quote) Carolyn-896104 said:

This is perfect Bernard. I am going to copy this to my computer. Sometimes I don't know what to say. This really helps. Thank you.

--hide--
Wait.Are you going to use it on me if I message you? scratchchin laughing laughing laughing tongue

Feb 3rd 2013 new

(Quote) Bernard-2709 said: Wait.Are you going to use it on me if I message you?
(Quote) Bernard-2709 said:

Wait.Are you going to use it on me if I message you?

--hide--




Bernard, "IF" you contacted me, I would ask you these questions first and then depending on your answers...

Would you move to Ohio if we developed a relationship?
Would you care that after buying this house that I cannot afford to travel?
Would you like to help me remodel this house I just bought slowly
Would you ever tell me to stop scratching your back or play with your hair?
Would play the guinea pig when I experiment with new recipes?
Do you like to hike?
Do you like big families?


So depending on how you answer those questions would depend on if I would have to cut and paste that message. Although you are so cute, I would really hate to paste that message on an email to you!


Feb 3rd 2013 new

Carolyn, your strategy makes sense. If you sent that note or Bernard's suggestion, I might reply with a "goodbye" message. Any additional follow-ups would warrant blocking or reporting to CM.

Feb 13th 2013 new

I've felt the same way sometimes. I think some people don't feel obligated too much because the Internet allows people to forget common courtesy sometimes. I wouldn't give up. God has a plan for all of us. I am thinking of this bumper sticker -- practice random acts of kindness. Just keep sending those happy faces. Peace.

Feb 17th 2013 new

(Quote) Andrew-865848 said: Prior to meeting someone on CM, I received a few messages from women. Here is my two cents...
(Quote) Andrew-865848 said:

Prior to meeting someone on CM, I received a few messages from women. Here is my two cents...

I always replied, but....

If all I got was an emoticon, I usually only replied back with a very short one line message...if the woman was not willing to write a sentence or two indicating what she liked in my profile, I figured we were not going to be a good fit...too timid and unsure of herself.

If all I got was a one line message that was generic, as in "Have a nice day..", then see above...too timid. I want to know what you saw in me that made you contact me.

If I got a long rambling message that was mostly focused on you rather than me, I would also reply with only a short note. I'm not interested in women who think they are way more important than me. Tell me a little about yourself, but a half page letter about your bad day at work is not a good way to get me to respond with much more than "thanks for writing."

If I got a brief, three or four sentence note that mentions a couple of things that you liked in my profile, now you have my interest. You have shown me you actually read my profile, you found something you liked, you told me about it, and now the ball is my court. And if I got this kind of note, I usually wrote back with a similar note.

And if you wrote a brief note about what you liked in my profile, AND you asked me just one question that invites me to respond, now we have a conversation starting up.

...and that is how I first became interested in the woman I met here...she wrote to me, she mentioned some things she liked in my profile, and she asked me a question about where I grew up. I wrote back, answering the question, and off we went!



--hide--


Andrew this is excellent. I wish all the men were like you! Because I do exactly what you say in your third option - and they still don't reply. Maybe they look at my profile - or just my photo! - before reading my message. rolling eyes

Jun 19th 2013 new
Marion, I totally agree with you. Believe me, you are not alone in the disregard department. Perhaps it's a matter of upbringing. Like you, I was reared to have good manners, consideration and the ability to acknowledge those who reach out to me. Afterall, if someone is good enough to reach out to me, the least I can do is reciprocate. I cetainly hope that things change for the better for each of us. Better days are coming. Maryjane
Jun 20th 2013 new
Honestly there's too many reasons why folks don't respond. Rudness is part of it, some are fearful, some don't care they are just here to play the field or window shop, some aren't members and can't respond, some don't even check their profiles for long periods of time. I look at it like this if you show interest and the other person doesn't respond let it go move on. If they respond great if not you've done what you can and you can only control your actions not someone elses. No response is just Gods sign they are not the person for you. Also it's very common to get no response here and I've been here 8 years on and off. Emails or emotes rarely pan out to more than a few and if you move to the meeting stage some times folks just fine the chemistry isn't there. It's a numbers game if you ask me that said I do know several couple who have met and married from the site and am going to a CM wedding next week so don't lose hope entirely. :-)
Jun 20th 2013 new
(quote) Ann-69118 said: Posting on the forums may get you a few more browses but it doesn't guarantee anymore interest. Post
True, Ann.
I had one guy contact me because he had read something I said in a particular forum. It made me wonder just what piqued his interest because of the nature of the comment! He was quite a bit younger & shorter than what I like in a man, so I politely said, "no, thanks" to a F2F. Please don't think I'm shallow because of that.
Posts 71 - 80 of 81