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Virtuous Wife: Marriage is Not for Happiness! (Generation Cedar)
“Heavenly Father, Thou hast placed me in the church which thy Son purchased by His own blood. Add grace to grace that I may live worthy of my vocation. I am part of the Lamb’s bride, the church. May I live high above a love of things temporal; sanctified, cleansed, unblemished, hallowed by grace; thy love my fullness, thy glory my joy, thy precepts my pathway, thy cross my resting place.”
Marriage is not for our happiness–it’s for our HOLINESS. Ouch!
We talk a lot about “do this for a happy marriage”…and there is a realistic place for that. But here’s the awesome thing…
When we just obey God, and stop assessing whether or not we want to obey, we will find ourselves perfectly happy–content.
In marriage, we are to act in such a way that our union is a picture to the world of Jesus the Bridegroom and His church–us–the Bride. Period. Everything the Bible says about our responsibilities in marriage ultimately serves to glorify God. We should shudder in awe of the responsibility to represent Christ in this way!
If we could just get that! We were created–marriage was created–children were created–to do none other than to glorify our Creator. It’s not about us! And yet, in His mysterious design, when we live for Him, He gives us all the abundance of life!
Our only job is to do what He says, and the glory will be accomplished.
Wow there is such peace in that!
All that is simply a preface to our understanding about being a wife. Many of us Christians are still so indoctrinated by a worldly, feminist philosophy, that I thought it needful to go back to the basics…what is marriage even for?
Because it is only with a clear understanding of the purpose of marriage that we can even begin to properly fulfill our roles.
If marriage is to make us happy…we’ve got problems. Because you see, that wonderful man that we married is not always as wonderful as he was the day of our wedding. AND NEITHER ARE WE! There are a lot of husbands and wives desecrating the sanctity of their marriages because they are “not happy” anymore.
“Not happy” is not a reason to break your marriage vows. And it has no place as a measuring stick of determining our promised fidelity.
Once we get that settled in our minds, life gets a lot easier. God created marriage–He can make the rules. We can choose to obey them and reap the blessing, or do things our way and reap the curse.
So, our thinking has to be right. So far we’ve determined that:
A virtuous wife is rare–we must be willing to be different.
A rare jewel requires work–we must be willing to allow God to work on us.
A virtuous wife is trustworthy with all that she has been given–we must be wives in whom our husbands can put their complete trust.
Marriage is not to make us happy–it is to make us holy.
“She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.”Proverbs 31:12
Chew on this one today…and by the way, as we raise daughters, remember “ALL” the days of her life, which shoves the typical dating life right out of the picture.
Do your husband good. A verse akin to this one, that really pricks my heart is,“A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband; but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.” Prov. 12:4
It repeats the trust theme–is he proud and confident with me at his side, knowing that I hold his reputation in highest regard, and will protect it with my honor? That’s a wife he will wear as a crown!
I was married to an alcoholic that had numerous affairs for twenty years, if I have to be that unhappy again NO thank you. Besides I find some of this so legalistic.
Speaking in general, a big reason many marriages fail is because one or both spouses had their eye on happiness rather than holiness before the marriage.
If you look at the lives of the saints, you will see that even those who endured great suffering were filled with joy - something most of us find very elusibe - because they were living their lives in accord with God's will, not their own.