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A place to learn, mingle, and share

This room is for the discussion of current events,cultural issues and politics especially in relation to Catholic values.

Saint Thomas More was martyred during the Protestant Reformation for standing firm in the Faith and not recognizing the King of England as the Supreme Head of the Church.
Learn More:Saint Thomas More

Jan 16th 2013 new
(Quote) Jessica-766671 said: I'm sure God gave you needed in that moment. Thank you for being willing to share yo...
(Quote) Jessica-766671 said:




I'm sure God gave you needed in that moment. Thank you for being willing to share your story - you never know which life you touched!

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Thanks Jessica!
Jan 16th 2013 new

(Quote) Kristen-878108 said: She hesitates in choosing a fruit, for she knows if she selects one, she by default rejects the...
(Quote) Kristen-878108 said:

She hesitates in choosing a fruit, for she knows if she selects one, she by default rejects the rest. But because of hestitation, eventually all the fruit overripens and falls off and she is left with nothing.

The moral of the story: making a choice results in the elimination of other choices. Are there people out there who fear commitment for this reason? And has this fear caused you to miss some opportunities for love? I often think about this paradox - that in order to really grow, one must limit oneself by choosing a specific path, entering deeply into this choice in order to learn how to love. I know this is a really heavy topic, but is important to address in a culture that wants us to buy into the illusion of infinite choice. And sometimes we might decide to choose, only to be disappointed with our choice later on - how do we renew our ability to learn how to love in these situations of disappointment? Looking forward to some deep discussion!

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Wow.. what a Great topic, and i like the Title which i don't think could be any more true. It is an 'illusion" of infinite choices,, and unfortunately i have to say one that i'm probably guilty of. However only each of us knows our frailties and ability to live through to our committments, so hopefully as we go through this journey we learn from those "missed opportunities" and are able to make that committment with conviction when the time comes again. Your summation is excellent, and one i wish could be made a "sticky" on the boards,, just as a reminder to us all of this fallacy. Thanks for such great thoughts. biggrin Praying thumbsup thumbsup

Jan 16th 2013 new

(Quote) Kristen-878108 said: I read a story from Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar many years ago that I recently loo...
(Quote) Kristen-878108 said:

I read a story from Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar many years ago that I recently looked up (do not recommend the book - a real downer). But the story she tells is about a fig tree heavy with fruit - each fruit represents a different life choice for her. She hesitates in choosing a fruit, for she knows if she selects one, she by default rejects the rest. But because of hestitation, eventually all the fruit overripens and falls off and she is left with nothing.

The moral of the story: making a choice results in the elimination of other choices. Are there people out there who fear commitment for this reason? And has this fear caused you to miss some opportunities for love? I often think about this paradox - that in order to really grow, one must limit oneself by choosing a specific path, entering deeply into this choice in order to learn how to love. I know this is a really heavy topic, but is important to address in a culture that wants us to buy into the illusion of infinite choice. And sometimes we might decide to choose, only to be disappointed with our choice later on - how do we renew our ability to learn how to love in these situations of disappointment? Looking forward to some deep discussion!

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This is a great topic Kristen. As Americans, we do live in a culture that 'wants us to buy into the illusion of infinite choice' , and yes, it is an illusion. The concept of "having it all" does NOT exist, but you would never know it based on all the messages we receive from TV, social media etc..... Sadly, this illusion causes us to live in our own little fantasy world where "it's all about me". We are all guilty of this to some degree, and I believe this mindset to be the cause of many online dating frustrations that we all seem to experience.

Choosing a potential partner does cause fears of commitment and the feeling that one may have missed a "better opportunity", but again, this brings us back to "it's all about me". We must let go of this selfishness because it actually is about another person! We easily forget this important fact! When meeting someone new, I pray that God lets me "see the blessings in front of me, rather than what I wish to create" This person is not there for me to mold into what I desire. When we let go of the desire to control, but rather just let it all unfold we open ourselves to see the blessings in front of us, and to avoid the fate of the person in the book. (I know, easier said than done!)

Jan 16th 2013 new

(Quote) Kristen-878108 said: I read a story from Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar many years ago that I recently loo...
(Quote) Kristen-878108 said:

I read a story from Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar many years ago that I recently looked up

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Wonderful topic and discussion, Kristen!


One element seems to be missing though. Time. Trusting God to give us our best path means that we must also trust His time. If we are always listening for His whisper and His guidance, and keeping ourselves in prayer for both, He won't let us down.


He'll give us what we need...those figs won't rot and fall to the ground at all. Rather, as we look and look and look at them, one will naturally begin to appear riper, plumper, and tastier. The only One Who knows the best time for picking it is God, though.

Jan 16th 2013 new

Dang...now I'm hungry. Could somebody bring me some figgy pudding?

Jan 16th 2013 new

(Quote) Maggie-918313 said: Dang...now I'm hungry. Could somebody bring me some figgy pudding?
(Quote) Maggie-918313 said:

Dang...now I'm hungry. Could somebody bring me some figgy pudding?

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You won't go until you get some? laughing

Jan 16th 2013 new

(Quote) Lina-796057 said: I think of Emerson's quote "For everything you have missed, you have gained something els...
(Quote) Lina-796057 said:

I think of Emerson's quote "For everything you have missed, you have gained something else."

It always left me a bit sad, especially when I'd think on not having those things or people upon which I set my heart--even though, as Emerson points out, I'm not left empty-handed. Wisdom in itself is important.

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A song also comes to mind.. When God closes a door he opens a window..

www.youtube.com


So there is always opportunities for us out there.. also I the saying "What would Jesus do " WWJD ...

Good things for us to think about ... wink

Jan 16th 2013 new

I particularly think it is an issue with men more than women. Women are more willing to say, "this one is good; I will stop looking and be satisfied" whereas I think men like to keep their options open for as long as possible (and then some keep their options open even after they have picked one).

I think it is a major problem when it comes to dating, and it is indeed an illusion, as eventually your choice of never choosing anything becomes a choice: You chose nothing.

Jan 16th 2013 new

(Quote) Pat-5351 said: I particularly think it is an issue with men more than women. Women are more willing to say, "th...
(Quote) Pat-5351 said:

I particularly think it is an issue with men more than women. Women are more willing to say, "this one is good; I will stop looking and be satisfied" whereas I think men like to keep their options open for as long as possible (and then some keep their options open even after they have picked one).

I think it is a major problem when it comes to dating, and it is indeed an illusion, as eventually your choice of never choosing anything becomes a choice: You chose nothing.

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I disagree. I lived in Chicago for almost a decade and lost track of the number of women I met who were waiting, waiting, waiting for a Mr. Perfect, who of course never arrived. And a number of divorced male friends of mine can attest to having wives who kept their options open after marriage. The "You go girl!" mentality of the past couple generations has made women just as reluctant to settle down as men, so no need to make this a gender-specific issue.

Jan 16th 2013 new

I speak from my own observation and experience, just as you do, and it's my opinion, to which I am entitled, as are you.

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