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This room is for the discussion of current events,cultural issues and politics especially in relation to Catholic values.

Saint Thomas More was martyred during the Protestant Reformation for standing firm in the Faith and not recognizing the King of England as the Supreme Head of the Church.
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Jan 17th 2013 new
Hi Meg, I would get discouraged as I passed each age milestone, thinking life had passed me by. She saw my disappointment and wanted me to know that God didn't forget me. Or I didn't miss the boat, it didn't leave without me. It's a very encouraging thought. Thanks Meg. John
Jan 17th 2013 new
(Quote) John-746882 said: Hi Meg, I would get discouraged as I passed each age milestone, thinking life had passed me by. She saw my disappoi...
(Quote) John-746882 said: Hi Meg, I would get discouraged as I passed each age milestone, thinking life had passed me by. She saw my disappointment and wanted me to know that God didn't forget me. Or I didn't miss the boat, it didn't leave without me. It's a very encouraging thought. Thanks Meg. John
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Thanks, John
Jan 18th 2013 new

(Quote) Kristen-878108 said: I agree - reminds me of the movie about CS Lewis (with Anthony Hopkins) called
(Quote) Kristen-878108 said:


I agree - reminds me of the movie about CS Lewis (with Anthony Hopkins) called The Shadowlands - where he poses the question of which is better: to choose to be safe and to have risked nothing for love, or to love, risking all even for a deep love

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Kristen--this was a great movie to use as an example. I had forgotten about this movie yet had seen it when it 1st came out over 10 yrs. ago, as did many others I knew & cried our eyes out in it. Also, good topic & analogy using Sylvia Plath's book. I think I read her book in my senior year H.S., but I also read later she committed suicide, as evidenced by her depressing book!

My take on living with, accepting, and commiting to your choice of (fruit) or person in hand is to live in the PRESENT. The Lord doesn't want us to keep looking back to the past nor always to the future. As He said in scripture: I AM...as opposed to "I was or I will be". (forgive me for any errors in the paraphrasing).

I also like to be reminded of country singer Garth Brook's song, "I Thank God for Unanswered Prayers". It's a great one for when you run into an ex and you realize you're now in a much better place & can thank God for this. :>)

Jan 18th 2013 new

(Quote) Tara-916865 said: I don't feel I've missed out on anything yet. But, who knows, in 20 ...
(Quote) Tara-916865 said:


I don't feel I've missed out on anything yet. But, who knows, in 20 years, I might be depressed.

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Tara, I've got 20 yrs over you & naaaaaa, still too busy or my life's too full to get depressed. I think there's more peace & contentment actually than when I was in my early 30's. I've learned to "accept the things I cannot change & change the things I can & the wisdom to know the difference", ( from the Serenity prayer). I only had a greater anxiety to get mrd. when I was in my early 30's becuz my dad was sick w/ cancer & I may have felt I needed to get a "blessing" from him by being married (before he passed away). A kind person counseled me to read the book "the Blessing" and this guided me in my thinking...sorry could be another thread. :-)

Jan 18th 2013 new

(Quote) John-746882 said: My Mom used to tell me you haven't missed any boat. I'm sure that's the case with many, many ...
(Quote) John-746882 said: My Mom used to tell me you haven't missed any boat. I'm sure that's the case with many, many singles. It's just God's timing. If we stay close to him, and I recommend Our Lady, we can't lose, and our choices will be guided on the right path. Great thread!
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John, that is so true to pray our Mama Mary for her intercession to her son. I had prayed the rosary for years, espec. with my family, but my 1st time to pray a rosary novena was on the CM web site. Many had seen answers to their prayers in various ways.

Jan 20th 2013 new

(Quote) Anne-445674 said: Kristen--this was a great movie to use as an example. I had forgotten about this movie ye...
(Quote) Anne-445674 said:

Kristen--this was a great movie to use as an example. I had forgotten about this movie yet had seen it when it 1st came out over 10 yrs. ago, as did many others I knew & cried our eyes out in it. Also, good topic & analogy using Sylvia Plath's book. I think I read her book in my senior year H.S., but I also read later she committed suicide, as evidenced by her depressing book!

My take on living with, accepting, and commiting to your choice of (fruit) or person in hand is to live in the PRESENT. The Lord doesn't want us to keep looking back to the past nor always to the future. As He said in scripture: I AM...as opposed to "I was or I will be". (forgive me for any errors in the paraphrasing).

I also like to be reminded of country singer Garth Brook's song, "I Thank God for Unanswered Prayers". It's a great one for when you run into an ex and you realize you're now in a much better place & can thank God for this. :>)

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That's an excellent perspective Anne! Totally agree about living in the Present!

Jan 20th 2013 new

(Quote) Anne-445674 said: Tara, I've got 20 yrs over you & naaaaaa, still too busy or my life's too ful...
(Quote) Anne-445674 said:

Tara, I've got 20 yrs over you & naaaaaa, still too busy or my life's too full to get depressed. I think there's more peace & contentment actually than when I was in my early 30's. I've learned to "accept the things I cannot change & change the things I can & the wisdom to know the difference", ( from the Serenity prayer). I only had a greater anxiety to get mrd. when I was in my early 30's becuz my dad was sick w/ cancer & I may have felt I needed to get a "blessing" from him by being married (before he passed away). A kind person counseled me to read the book "the Blessing" and this guided me in my thinking...sorry could be another thread. :-)

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You sound like a very peaceful, content person Anne!

Jan 21st 2013 new

(Quote) Kristen-878108 said: I read a story from Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar many years ago that I recently loo...
(Quote) Kristen-878108 said:

I read a story from Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar many years ago that I recently looked up (do not recommend the book - a real downer). But the story she tells is about a fig tree heavy with fruit - each fruit represents a different life choice for her. She hesitates in choosing a fruit, for she knows if she selects one, she by default rejects the rest. But because of hestitation, eventually all the fruit overripens and falls off and she is left with nothing.

The moral of the story: making a choice results in the elimination of other choices. Are there people out there who fear commitment for this reason? And has this fear caused you to miss some opportunities for love? I often think about this paradox - that in order to really grow, one must limit oneself by choosing a specific path, entering deeply into this choice in order to learn how to love. I know this is a really heavy topic, but is important to address in a culture that wants us to buy into the illusion of infinite choice. And sometimes we might decide to choose, only to be disappointed with our choice later on - how do we renew our ability to learn how to love in these situations of disappointment? Looking forward to some deep discussion!

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Hi Kristen,

This brought to mind immediately two thoughts.

1. My father always said not choosing is a choice in itself. . . as the story notes. Being indecisive and hesitant can be prudent, but it can also be a self-fulfilling prophesy so to speak, resulting in loss and disappointment.

2. And, Jessica mentions this in her post about choosing the "perfect" choice. Due to a long history of hierarchical categorizing and thinking, we operate often under an assumption that choices and progress are always geared toward a progression toward perfection (speaking of the human realm here), but we know from study and hindsight that there is no such thing as a perfect option or a perfect choice --- all adaptation/change/choice comes with a cost. We walk upright and we die in childbirth, we reroute a river and we destroy an ecosystem over there but we can grow crops in a desert. We choose this career because it will provide the perfect life -- good home, good money -- but we are miserably bored or unhappy in that profession. As Jessica notes the world is in constant flux, everything changes, in fact, the only thing that is always constant is change -- little minute changes to profound life altering changes. And, as such, we are constantly presented with new options and choices, or the opportunity to go back and choose another fuit.

Okay a third thought lol 3.) Because of our particular world view and culture we are often operating under the assumption that we have total control over our choices and opportunities --- with that comes tremendous pressure to make as Jessica notes the "perfect" choice. Failure in our world is not acceptable, and yet we see it everyday. There is a quote out there attribted to Einstein or Edison or something that goes something like this: "I did not fail I only found 10,000 ways that didn't work." A horrible paraphrase but hopefully the gist is evident lol.

In the story outline, the person hesitates until all the fruit is gone and is then left with nothing. More importantly she never did anything, she didn't make a choice and fail, and make another choice. . . she didn't live, instead she allowed her uncertainty to keep her in a limbo of sorts until there was no path left to follow and no choice left to make. So what do we do? Make a choice and experience it, good bad or indifferent, then make another choice and experience that and so on and so forth. Never regret any choice you make as long as you learn something from it and don't let the fear of making a mistake keep you from living life and choosing something. And, even better if we choose knowing it won't be perfect, but it will provide some benefit even if it is finding a way something doesn't work, then it is a choice experienced.

Jan 21st 2013 new
(Quote) Lauren-927923 said: Hi Kristen, This brought to mind immediately two thoughts. 1. My...
(Quote) Lauren-927923 said:



Hi Kristen,



This brought to mind immediately two thoughts.



1. My father always said not choosing is a choice in itself. . . as the story notes. Being indecisive and hesitant can be prudent, but it can also be a self-fulfilling prophesy so to speak, resulting in loss and disappointment.



2. And, Jessica mentions this in her post about choosing the "perfect" choice. Due to a long history of hierarchical categorizing and thinking, we operate often under an assumption that choices and progress are always geared toward a progression toward perfection (speaking of the human realm here), but we know from study and hindsight that there is no such thing as a perfect option or a perfect choice --- all adaptation/change/choice comes with a cost. We walk upright and we die in childbirth, we reroute a river and we destroy an ecosystem over there but we can grow crops in a desert. We choose this career because it will provide the perfect life -- good home, good money -- but we are miserably bored or unhappy in that profession. As Jessica notes the world is in constant flux, everything changes, in fact, the only thing that is always constant is change -- little minute changes to profound life altering changes. And, as such, we are constantly presented with new options and choices, or the opportunity to go back and choose another fuit.



Okay a third thought lol 3.) Because of our particular world view and culture we are often operating under the assumption that we have total control over our choices and opportunities --- with that comes tremendous pressure to make as Jessica notes the "perfect" choice. Failure in our world is not acceptable, and yet we see it everyday. There is a quote out there attribted to Einstein or Edison or something that goes something like this: "I did not fail I only found 10,000 ways that didn't work." A horrible paraphrase but hopefully the gist is evident lol.



In the story outline, the person hesitates until all the fruit is gone and is then left with nothing. More importantly she never did anything, she didn't make a choice and fail, and make another choice. . . she didn't live, instead she allowed her uncertainty to keep her in a limbo of sorts until there was no path left to follow and no choice left to make. So what do we do? Make a choice and experience it, good bad or indifferent, then make another choice and experience that and so on and so forth. Never regret any choice you make as long as you learn something from it and don't let the fear of making a mistake keep you from living life and choosing something. And, even better if we choose knowing it won't be perfect, but it will provide some benefit even if it is finding a way something doesn't work, then it is a choice experienced.

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Thanks, Lauren I enjoyed reading what you wrote
Jan 21st 2013 new

(Quote) Brenda-74660 said: Not sure if this is on topic or off topic but your heavy topic brings to mind a choice I made to...
(Quote) Brenda-74660 said:

Not sure if this is on topic or off topic but your heavy topic brings to mind a choice I made tonight. As I have shared before I lost my son to an overdose of a synthetic drug. St Gregory's college hosted an open meeting tonight with someone from poison prevention center and someone from law enforcement tonight. I went and I ended up sharing my story tonight. I ended up with a lot of thank you's and several hugs from people I have never met. I was actually told by the poison prevention center person that my just showing up and having the courage to tell my story probably did as much good as his prepared talk on the subject. While I doubt that I do hope that they can do some good with what they presented tonight.....
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Brenda, that is a wonderful gift you have given of yourself to others. and, I agree with the poison prevention person your story and your presence will reach people that all of the data in the world will not. Big hugs!!

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