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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

01/16/2013 new

(Quote) Shara-929649 said: I think that I have learnt that on CM like in the real world that if a guy is interested...
(Quote) Shara-929649 said:

I think that I have learnt that on CM like in the real world that if a guy is interested he will give chase pretty rapidly and consistently.

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What Shara said.

01/16/2013 new

On the one hand, politeness dictates a response to an initial email within a reasonable time frame - for me that would be up to maybe a week.

We need to understand that as single adults, many with children in addition to jobs, school, regular household stuff and the like, sometimes one just wants to logon and lurk around a bit. I treat an email as seriously as I would a face-to-face conversation. If I'm too tired to give it the proper amount of attention then I think it's disrespectful to the recipient to just send a half-hearted response because it's the same day.

On the other hand, I know what it's like to send a well thought-out 'hi' type of email to someone you're interested in and just w...a...i...t... for a response.

Perhaps the best thing is to respond as quickly as practicable. Maybe a short acknowledgment like "I just got your message, thank you. It's been a long, crazy day and I'm beat. Give me a day or two and I'll be able to write back to you at length." Or something like that.

I'd suggest not thinking too much into the timing of a response. Contact anyone you're interested in. Some will respond right away, others won't. Either way, don't stress about it.

Have the attitude of a salesperson who's cold-calling new prospects - actually a fairly apt analogy. It's a function of numbers: maybe 80% are dead-ends, another 15 generate some interest, 4 have strong interest and that last one just may be the special one you're seeking. The more you contact initially the better the odds of getting to that last one.

01/16/2013 new
I dislike some of the games played via email. If someone emails I usually respond within a reasonable time.... scratchchin
01/16/2013 new

Generally, I will reply in 24 hours except sometimes life gets in the way and that doesn't happen. For example, I've been out of town recently, so didn't get to respond to any messages because I was busy and had no computer access.

Like Victor, I get bored easy. If she usually takes several days between messages, doesn't say much, doesn't seem enthusiastic about moving to phone or IM, etc, I've probably lost interest or gotten bored to the point where I forget to email back.

Re: logged in via phone. I'm usually logged into CM through my phone. So even though CM probably shows me as 'online' that doesn't mean I am actively checking CM. Plus, I don't like writing messages using my phone because the screen is too small for my aging eyes and I always end up with lots of misspelled words. laughing

01/16/2013 new
(Quote) Mary-924110 said: This site reminds me of CYO dances of my youth. Guys on one side and girls on the other.
(Quote) Mary-924110 said:

This site reminds me of CYO dances of my youth. Guys on one side and girls on the other.

--hide--
Very well put.
01/16/2013 new

(Quote) Tara-916865 said: Example - Guy messages girl. She messages him back the next day. He messages her back 5 da...
(Quote) Tara-916865 said:

Example - Guy messages girl. She messages him back the next day. He messages her back 5 days later.

Does that mean she's not that important (he's just not that into her)? If she were important, would you make sure you messaged her the next day, no matter what? (Well, I mean, if you didn't have an emergency, obviously.)

I remember a success story from here where the woman said she thought the guy had lost interest after they had communicated a little. He took A MONTH to reply to her. When she asked why it took so long for him to reply, he said that he would start typing a message then start over, procrastinate, start again, etc. I would guess, though, that if I hadn't heard from a man in a month, that he was gone forever.

--hide--

How "into you" can one expect a person to be after one message?

Brace yourselves... I'm about to say something I suspect many aren't going to like. (I know - so what else is new?)

If people wouldn't set unrealistic expectations, they wouldn't be disappointed when they aren't met.

(See! That wasn't so bad, was it? Oh,wait... that wasn't it...)

Another issue I see frequently on the forums and in real life is that people allow disappointment (legitimate or otherwise) lead to anger and resentment. It's understandable when little kids do this; adults should have better control of their emotions.

01/16/2013 new

(Quote) Jerry-74383 said: How "into you" can one expect a person to be after one message? Brace yourselves... I'm a...
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said:

How "into you" can one expect a person to be after one message?

Brace yourselves... I'm about to say something I suspect many aren't going to like. (I know - so what else is new?)

 

If people wouldn't set unrealistic expectations, they wouldn't be disappointed when they aren't met.

 

(See! That wasn't so bad, was it? Oh,wait... that wasn't it...)

 

Another issue I see frequently on the forums and in real life is that people allow disappointment (legitimate or otherwise) lead to anger and resentment. It's understandable when little kids do this; adults should have better control of their emotions.

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You mean we are expected to be adults on this site?????

eyepopping scratchchin

01/16/2013 new

(Quote) Brenda-74660 said: You mean we are expected to be adults on this site?????
(Quote) Brenda-74660 said: You mean we are expected to be adults on this site?????

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I don't know what I was thinking.... scratchchin

01/16/2013 new
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said: I don't know what I was thinking....
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said:



I don't know what I was thinking....



--hide--


Probably like a rational Adult....novel concept I know.... laughing
01/16/2013 new

If a girl cares enough to send me a message or to reply to a message or and emotigram that I have sent her then she is certainly important enough and I care enough to send something back to her either right away or as soon as I can, which for me is usually within a few hours.

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