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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jan 18th 2013 new
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said: How "into you" can one expect a person to be after one message? Brace y...
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said:



How "into you" can one expect a person to be after one message?



Brace yourselves... I'm about to say something I suspect many aren't going to like. (I know - so what else is new?)



If people wouldn't set unrealistic expectations, they wouldn't be disappointed when they aren't met.



(See! That wasn't so bad, was it? Oh,wait... that wasn't it...)



Another issue I see frequently on the forums and in real life is that people allow disappointment (legitimate or otherwise) lead to anger and resentment. It's understandable when little kids do this; adults should have better control of their emotions.







--hide--


Oh yeah Jerry!? PTHB::::::::::
Jan 18th 2013 new
(Quote) Brenda-74660 said: You mean we are expected to be adults on this site?????
(Quote) Brenda-74660 said:

You mean we are expected to be adults on this site?????

--hide--


Brenda, are you implying this is an adult site? laughing Nothing like getting the Admin's attention!
Jan 18th 2013 new
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said: I don't know what I was thinking....
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said:



I don't know what I was thinking....



--hide--


Who does?
Jan 18th 2013 new
(Quote) Tara-916865 said: Shara! You're a trip! I know this has been a burning question for some women, so I just had to ask the guys!
(Quote) Tara-916865 said: Shara! You're a trip! I know this has been a burning question for some women, so I just had to ask the guys!
--hide--


How do the guys get intouch with your mother Tara, to arrange a meeting.wedding?
Jan 18th 2013 new

(Quote) Clair-6292 said: That doesn't help! If the woman doesn't respond after the guy sends 4 messages there can b...
(Quote) Clair-6292 said:

That doesn't help! If the woman doesn't respond after the guy sends 4 messages there can be no more!
--hide--

Clair perhaps I should clarify. If a woman wants to be chased she will will affirm the chaser by responding quickly and with interest. She may initiate contact at times. It is just that we prefer men to do most of the initiating. I am not one who plays with people's emotions and who have to assume that most women aren't (I may be wrong).

For me. I am very straight forward. If I was interested you would have no doubt. So I love being chased but I would never play games of not responding or letting you know if I was interested. A friend however, I may take a few days to respond or provide a short polite answer.

Jan 18th 2013 new

I agree Shara. 111%. A photo and profile can be misleading.


It is responding to a message, well you just never know what might happen.

Jan 18th 2013 new

(Quote) Shara-929649 said: Clair perhaps I should clarify. If a woman wants to be chased she will will affi...
(Quote) Shara-929649 said:

Clair perhaps I should clarify. If a woman wants to be chased she will will affirm the chaser by responding quickly and with interest. She may initiate contact at times. It is just that we prefer men to do most of the initiating. I am not one who plays with people's emotions and who have to assume that most women aren't (I may be wrong).

For me. I am very straight forward. If I was interested you would have no doubt. So I love being chased but I would never play games of not responding or letting you know if I was interested. A friend however, I may take a few days to respond or provide a short polite answer.

--hide--


A woman who wants a man to do the "initiating" and to "take the lead" are women who wish to be pursued and courted, not chased. They are sincere in their desire and seek the same in the man who is pursuing them, and as such, give the same deference and respect to the man as she expects to receive in return.


Women who seek to be "chased" are the exact opposite. Most who look for a man to "chase" them aren't desiring a man to pursue and court them as much as they're looking for someone to cater to them. What is absent from this, however, is the common respect for each other, as "chasing" is based on fleeting interest and desire rather than genuine and deep-seated desire. More often than not, the "chase" lasts no longer than the length of time it took to begin.


And that's why men will resist the urge to "chase", unless they're desperate. A sincere man will give his best effort to court a woman who he believes is also sincere and respects him as a man. However, he will lose interest the moment he starts to believe that he's pursuing a prima donna. He will simply move on to someone he feels won't waste his time playing games, like insisting that he "chases" her.


I, personally, will pursue (to varying degrees) anyone with whom I have a sincere interest, but I will never "chase" anyone. ANYONE.



theheart

Jan 18th 2013 new

(Quote) Victor-544727 said: A woman who wants a man to do the "initiating" and to "take the lead...
(Quote) Victor-544727 said:


A woman who wants a man to do the "initiating" and to "take the lead" are women who wish to be pursued and courted, not chased. They are sincere in their desire and seek the same in the man who is pursuing them, and as such, give the same deference and respect to the man as she expects to receive in return.


Women who seek to be "chased" are the exact opposite. Most who look for a man to "chase" them aren't desiring a man to pursue and court them as much as they're looking for someone to cater to them. What is absent from this, however, is the common respect for each other, as "chasing" is based on fleeting interest and desire rather than genuine and deep-seated desire. More often than not, the "chase" lasts no longer than the length of time it took to begin.


And that's why men will resist the urge to "chase", unless they're desperate. A sincere man will give his best effort to court a woman who he believes is also sincere and respects him as a man. However, he will lose interest the moment he starts to believe that he's pursuing a prima donna. He will simply move on to someone he feels won't waste his time playing games, like insisting that he "chases" her.


I, personally, will pursue (to varying degrees) anyone with whom I have a sincere interest, but I will never "chase" anyone. ANYONE.



--hide--

Oh my Victor!!! You are so shy and hold back what you are truly feeling so much of the time. wink

Sincerely though Victor I think that we might be playing word game. What I have been hearing from the women on this thread is that they like men to do initiating and to take the lead. The prima donna situation is not what we are describing so I apologize if it came off that way or we may be using a word that sets you off. Like I stated, I do not play games and from what the women are saying it is clear that they don't either. We respect the men on CM, their dignity and their souls but are simply saying that we want to feel feminine and have the man step up. Women who expect a man to bow, scrape and cater to them do not respect the dignity of the men they are dealing with. Hope that clears it.

Jan 18th 2013 new
A Theology od the Body moment!

Earthly marriage is a foreshadow id rgw heavenly marriage at the end of time. How often do you ignore God's invitation to communicate?
Jan 18th 2013 new

(Quote) Jerry-74383 said: How "into you" can one expect a person to be after one message? Brace yo...
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said:

How "into you" can one expect a person to be after one message?

Brace yourselves... I'm about to say something I suspect many aren't going to like. (I know - so what else is new?)

If people wouldn't set unrealistic expectations, they wouldn't be disappointed when they aren't met.

(See! That wasn't so bad, was it? Oh,wait... that wasn't it...)

Another issue I see frequently on the forums and in real life is that people allow disappointment (legitimate or otherwise) lead to anger and resentment. It's understandable when little kids do this; adults should have better control of their emotions.

--hide--


SUPER liked this comment Jerry. Because it is TRUE. I've definitely had my expectations adjusted already. And I am okay with that. smile In the immortal words of Mick Jagger, "You can't always get what you want." sorry

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