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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jan 19th 2013 new

I had an instance where a gentleman and I were emailing for about four weeks pretty consistently. He hadn't asked for my number yet. I was running out of things to say in the emails and hearing about his day to day activities was getting a little mundane (day to day activities help to sanctify us, I know, that's not what I'm talking about). So I sent him an email stating that I didn't think that we were connecting on a deeper level and wished him the best. Well, he sent me an extremely angry email yelling at me for being disrespectful for telling him why I didn't want to communicate anymore and 'to do what regular people do, just stop emailing'. I had thought that what I was doing was the right thing and then he really spooked me--there were other things that he said. So ever since then I've been hesitant to send a 'why'. And I know that this is just one person that couldn't take rejection, not everyone.

Jan 19th 2013 new
If you call her and get her voice mail, how many days should you wait before trying to call her again if you don't hear from her?
Jan 19th 2013 new

(Quote) John-220051 said: If you call her and get her voice mail, how many days should you wait before trying to call her again if ...
(Quote) John-220051 said: If you call her and get her voice mail, how many days should you wait before trying to call her again if you don't hear from her?
--hide--


If you get her voicemail you leave her a message and ask her to get in contact with you..You did your duty..The ball is then in her court, because you tried..

Jan 19th 2013 new

(Quote) John-220051 said: If you call her and get her voice mail, how many days should you wait before trying to call her again if ...
(Quote) John-220051 said: If you call her and get her voice mail, how many days should you wait before trying to call her again if you don't hear from her?
--hide--


You don't. Give her a few days. If she doesn't return your call then send her a short email, or text, and leave it at that.


Pursue... don't chase. There's a difference.


theheart

Jan 19th 2013 new

(Quote) Victor-544727 said: You don't. Give her a few days. If she doesn't return your call th...
(Quote) Victor-544727 said:


You don't. Give her a few days. If she doesn't return your call then send her a short email, or text, and leave it at that.


Pursue... don't chase. There's a difference.

--hide--


I like that, Victor! Chelle smile

Jan 19th 2013 new

(Quote) Christine-924384 said: I had an instance where a gentleman and I were emailing for about four weeks pretty consisten...
(Quote) Christine-924384 said:

I had an instance where a gentleman and I were emailing for about four weeks pretty consistently. He hadn't asked for my number yet. I was running out of things to say in the emails and hearing about his day to day activities was getting a little mundane (day to day activities help to sanctify us, I know, that's not what I'm talking about). So I sent him an email stating that I didn't think that we were connecting on a deeper level and wished him the best. Well, he sent me an extremely angry email yelling at me for being disrespectful for telling him why I didn't want to communicate anymore and 'to do what regular people do, just stop emailing'. I had thought that what I was doing was the right thing and then he really spooked me--there were other things that he said. So ever since then I've been hesitant to send a 'why'. And I know that this is just one person that couldn't take rejection, not everyone.

--hide--


I think you did right Christine, saying something simple as you did - doesn't sound too harsh. I don't think the "why" needs to be expressed as in a direct rejection of the other person, because most likely it is something in us that is causing a rejection to happen.

Jan 19th 2013 new

(Quote) Steve-650539 said: I agree with your post. Sometimes things fizzle out and people move on. Does one really ...
(Quote) Steve-650539 said:

I agree with your post. Sometimes things fizzle out and people move on. Does one really need to have that spelled out? If one is chatting with someone in line at the grocery store and the two have run out of pleasantries, do they say "I've run out of things to say so I will stop speaking to you now"? No, they just move on to the task at hand.

I've found that when you send out the "not interested" email, it often creates more problems via the "But why?" and/or angry response. I think people, in general, want to think that they would respond to every message (I'm sure some do) even if reality is different. It's like the threads where people complain no one writes them. Are they really not getting any messages? I'm skeptical because in a couple of instances it was a woman I had messaged and gotten no response in return.

People seem to take things too personally. Maybe a lack of dating experience creates hightened expectations among some, I don't know.

--hide--


Setting aside my recent correspondence i have had a years long dry spell where the only communications I have received have been advice on how to attract other women.. Even before I was a moderator.. This is the honest truth.. It's been so long since anyone showed interest in my profile except my use as 'advice to the lovelorn' I was starting to think my profile was invisible.

Jan 19th 2013 new

(Quote) Victor-544727 said: You'd think we would all have outgrown such silliness in high school. Sheesh. &q...
(Quote) Victor-544727 said:

You'd think we would all have outgrown such silliness in high school. Sheesh.


"Poofers" and "poofing" are the online equivalent of people who either clam-up and run away from a potential mate the minute the possibility of things becoming serious presents itself, or they lose interest but lack the character to be forthright in stating so. In high school they'd hide behind their friends when they see you coming... here, they hide behind their computer screens.


Same dynamic... same behavior... same outcomes.

--hide--

Jan 19th 2013 new

Ok...messed that up. Wanted to quote Victor. Anyway, I am learning a lot from this discussion. I have always tried to be up front and to not play games. If I don't return the feeling, I tell guys. Just think it's the right thing to do. No POOFING!



Jan 20th 2013 new

(Quote) John-220051 said: If you call her and get her voice mail, how many days should you wait before trying to call her again if ...
(Quote) John-220051 said: If you call her and get her voice mail, how many days should you wait before trying to call her again if you don't hear from her?
--hide--


I would say wait a couple days and text or email her like someone said above and then leave it at that. Sometimes texts don't go through or voicemails are accidentally deleted (I've done that), so maybe an email would be the safest way to know that she did/would receive it. After that, then I would say no more if she doesn't respond. If a gentleman calls me and leaves a message and I can't call back soon, then I will send a text to let him know that I did receive his message. I'll either tell him when I can call him back or ask him to call back when it's good for both of us~~so my point is, if she's interested, she will respond.

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