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This room is for general discussion that doesn't specifically fit into one of the other CatholicMatch rooms. Topics should not be overly serious as this is to be more of a "cafe setting."

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Jan 21st 2013 new

(Quote) Joseph-841276 said: Love the sinner not the sin. Have boundaries example if they start to talk about their pa...
(Quote) Joseph-841276 said:

Love the sinner not the sin.

Have boundaries example if they start to talk about their partner (assuming there is one) cut them off politely. Like TV you can change channel or the subject. I good response is that (I love you, but I do not accept your lifestyle).

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Joseph is right, Emily. And I agree to with him, Im sure that almost all of us if not all have friends, relatives or immediate family members who are gays and lesbians but they are God's children too. Be open and honest but be polite of your feelings towards their actions and behavior.

Jan 21st 2013 new

(Quote) Emily-747525 said: Dear CM friends, I recently found out that a close family member, with whom I am very clos...
(Quote) Emily-747525 said:

Dear CM friends,

I recently found out that a close family member, with whom I am very close, is homosexual. As a Catholic, I know and understand what the Bible and the Church say about homosexuality... but my cousin is family, and I don't want to turn my back on them... what should I do? Any and all advice is appreciated!

Thank you!

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My children have a very close friend who is something like a son to me that is homosexual. He is very outspoken about it except that he respects me enough never to rub it in my face or talk of this in front of me. His facebook page is full of info supporting homosexuality, but he never mentions it in front of me. He knows I am Catholic and what the Church stands for on this issue. He also knows I love him. This is no different than a heterosexual having a sexual relationship outside the bans of marriage. People know where I stand and know if they visit me with that individual they are sleeping in separate bedrooms.

I think what we do speaks louder than what we say. If we reprimanded everyone we saw sinning, there wouldn't be any time left for living. Reprimanding ourselves takes enough time. If we reprimanded everyone we saw sinning, we wouldn't have time to share the love of Christ with them.

Your close family member is no different than he or she was before you knew his or her sexual preference. Remember the woman at the well. Jesus said, "let the first one without sin throw the first stone." I say, show them you love them while you have the chance, because you are not guaranteed a second chance.


Just my two cents.


- Elizabeth

Jan 21st 2013 new

(Quote) Emily-747525 said: Dear CM friends, I recently found out that a close family member, with whom I am very clos...
(Quote) Emily-747525 said:

Dear CM friends,

I recently found out that a close family member, with whom I am very close, is homosexual. As a Catholic, I know and understand what the Bible and the Church say about homosexuality... but my cousin is family, and I don't want to turn my back on them... what should I do? Any and all advice is appreciated!

Thank you!

--hide--


Hi Emily, I don't know what everyone else wrote as I have not read their posts but why would you need to turn your back on them?

As a Catholic you are called to love them and by loving them you don't turn your back but you do not accept their lifestyle. They respect your belief and you respect and love them as the child of God they are and your family member.

My cousin is gay and that doesn't stop her from being my cousin nor a person I love My family knows who and what I am and what I believe. She respects me and we don't cross each other's line.

Christ didn't tell the women at the well - How terrible she was and lectured her. He told her in a compassionate and loving way to go and sin no more. When she told Him her sin, He told her you are right but you have many men and then told her go and sin no more. Pray to God for the enlightenment and wisdom in what you say and do and always do it with compassion as Christ would want you to do. No one hears in anger or judgment. Leave the judgment to God and just love.

Love your cousin for who they are as a person, as your family member and as a child of God. Don't water down what you believe in but don't force something down their throat. Pray and allow God to work through you and the moment of grace is in His plan and not yours.

Jan 21st 2013 new

Hi Emily,

First, being homosexual is different than acting out homosexual. One can have any number of disordered inclinations and not act on them, nor will them, and one is completely good with God who knows all about these things.

Second, the Catholic Bishops sent out a very careful pastoral letter some years ago in which they said to parents of gay persons that their job could basically be to just love their son or daughter. Gently, gently. They needn't be police.

It's actually not so different from kids dropping away from the church. Love them until they return. Trust God.

This is actually quite a big subject. An all-consuming subject for a homosexual Catholic to be sure. Yet many such, and their families, have the most primitive ideas of what the church teaches. The Catechism is a terrific starting point, always.

I think were I you Emily I would ask about this the next time I was in confession. Maybe go to three different confessors over time. See if one can help you on this one. They are trained at being "pastoral" both to you and to your family member.

Meanwhile your job can be to remind them of your love and that you want them to do nothing that will harm their self-esteem or their life with poor decisions -- no more or less than if they were mainstream. Remind them that dumb is dumb and a major lifestyle change is best done very carefully if at all.

Just some thoughts. Ask your confessor.

NC Jim

Jan 21st 2013 new

As I understand it, homosexuals are called by our Catholic faith, as we singles are called, to live a chaste lifestyle. They are not a sin, their choices may be. I believe we are called to love them and be a model for them. I try not to judge what goes on behind closed doors. If the subject comes up, I state what I believe to be true.... again, no judgement.

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