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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jan 19th 2013 new

The whole social medial thing really makes me worry for my children, and our society in general for that matter. If I may, I'd like to take this thread in a different direction...

I have to admit up front, I haven't exactly been following this story. I know there is a controversy, but I haven't hung on every news report to stay up to date on the latest development. It's encouraging to read all the posts offering sympathy and prayers for this young man. I'm glad there are people like Jon, Kristen, and Brenda.

I'm afraid I'm more of a cynic. I've seen too many instances of people posing under tragic circumstances to play off people's sympathy. Does anyone remember the "balloon boy" incident several years agowhere the father set up a story saying his son was trapped in a weather balloon floating off into the sky. The media ate it up! People hung on every development. And then it was exposed as a hoax. Or how about TV show's like "America's Got Talent". Someone comes on stage with some kind of bad luck story hoping public sympathy will get them to the next level. And then you have the people on the street corner holding the sign "will work for food" but would much rather take a hand out to buy alcohol.

So here's the question. I'm really not trying to be hard hearted and cynical here. The fact is, this football players story won't affect many of us personally so it's easy to say I won't pass judgement on him. But we all see the homeless and poor on the street corner. I'm all for sympathy and compassion, but where do you draw the line? How do you be "gentle as a dove, but sly as a fox"?

Jan 19th 2013 new
I see when involved in online dating that one has to be very careful & at any age one can be

fooled.The facebook,online chatting has to be approached very carefully. I am not fully

comfortable with any of it.It has given me a new perspective on all of it.
Jan 19th 2013 new
(Quote) Gary-836455 said: The whole social medial thing really makes me worry for my children, and our society in general for that matter....
(Quote) Gary-836455 said:

The whole social medial thing really makes me worry for my children, and our society in general for that matter. If I may, I'd like to take this thread in a different direction...

I have to admit up front, I haven't exactly been following this story. I know there is a controversy, but I haven't hung on every news report to stay up to date on the latest development. It's encouraging to read all the posts offering sympathy and prayers for this young man. I'm glad there are people like Jon, Kristen, and Brenda.

I'm afraid I'm more of a cynic. I've seen too many instances of people posing under tragic circumstances to play off people's sympathy. Does anyone remember the "balloon boy" incident several years agowhere the father set up a story saying his son was trapped in a weather balloon floating off into the sky. The media ate it up! People hung on every development. And then it was exposed as a hoax. Or how about TV show's like "America's Got Talent". Someone comes on stage with some kind of bad luck story hoping public sympathy will get them to the next level. And then you have the people on the street corner holding the sign "will work for food" but would much rather take a hand out to buy alcohol.

So here's the question. I'm really not trying to be hard hearted and cynical here. The fact is, this football players story won't affect many of us personally so it's easy to say I won't pass judgement on him. But we all see the homeless and poor on the street corner. I'm all for sympathy and compassion, but where do you draw the line? How do you be "gentle as a dove, but sly as a fox"?

--hide--


I hope you are not correct but I understand being cynical......I hope they allow the story to fade away soon.
Jan 19th 2013 new

(Quote) Gary-836455 said:So here's the question. I'm really not trying to be hard hearted and...
(Quote) Gary-836455 said:
So here's the question. I'm really not trying to be hard hearted and cynical here. The fact is, this football players story won't affect many of us personally so it's easy to say I won't pass judgement on him. But we all see the homeless and poor on the street corner. I'm all for sympathy and compassion, but where do you draw the line? How do you be "gentle as a dove, but sly as a fox"?

--hide--



Okay, here's my answer! People who read my posts are probably getting used to (or sick of) my over thorough treatises, but oh well, this is me! tongue

This is a great question Gary, and one we all have to answer for ourselves. I try to assume the best motives for everyone, as I would hope they would for me (even if they don't). The older I get, the more I think people do a lot of things because of stupidity, naiveté and unexamined responses rather than malice (it doesn't mean their behavior isn't sinful, just that their motives are not so black and white). And the great relief to me is I don't have to judge! Jesus tells me not to, and I am really bad at it anyway as I am not very good at discerning people's motives. So I assume the best.

I heard Fr. Benedict Groeschel say something about this many moons ago that really struck me: that as Christians, we are going to be taken advantage of people (like the homeless example you mention). But Jesus does not ask us to only give to the deserving, but to GIVE and trust that even if the motives of the person receiving our generosity are imperfect, that the our act of giving is honored by God. Easier said than done. smile

But assuming the best does not mean buying into their behavior, and I think that's where the "wise as serpents, gentle as doves" Scripture comes in. Even if someone's motives are not pure, we are called to LOVE. But sometimes love means setting boundaries (which as a parent you know). But boundaries only apply when the situation actually impacts your life, my life. Manti Te'o's situation does not impact my life personally, except that I feel very sorry for him having his personal life exposed in the public sphere. Therefore I do not need to set a boundary in regard to him, but only share basic human compassion at his situation. I just don't think a college football player is so media savvy as to concoct such an elaborate plot just to gain public sympathy. God bless!

Jan 19th 2013 new

(Quote) Kristen-878108 said: Okay, here's my answer! People who read my posts are probably getting used to ...
(Quote) Kristen-878108 said:




Okay, here's my answer! People who read my posts are probably getting used to (or sick of) my over thorough treatises, but oh well, this is me!

This is a great question Gary, and one we all have to answer for ourselves. I try to assume the best motives for everyone, as I would hope they would for me (even if they don't). The older I get, the more I think people do a lot of things because of stupidity, naiveté and unexamined responses rather than malice (it doesn't mean their behavior isn't sinful, just that their motives are not so black and white). And the great relief to me is I don't have to judge! Jesus tells me not to, and I am really bad at it anyway as I am not very good at discerning people's motives. So I assume the best.

I heard Fr. Benedict Groeschel say something about this many moons ago that really struck me: that as Christians, we are going to be taken advantage of people (like the homeless example you mention). But Jesus does not ask us to only give to the deserving, but to GIVE and trust that even if the motives of the person receiving our generosity are imperfect, that the our act of giving is honored by God. Easier said than done.

But assuming the best does not mean buying into their behavior, and I think that's where the "wise as serpents, gentle as doves" Scripture comes in. Even if someone's motives are not pure, we are called to LOVE. But sometimes love means setting boundaries (which as a parent you know). But boundaries only apply when the situation actually impacts your life, my life. Manti Te'o's situation does not impact my life personally, except that I feel very sorry for him having his personal life exposed in the public sphere. Therefore I do not need to set a boundary in regard to him, but only share basic human compassion at his situation. I just don't think a college football player is so media savvy as to concoct such an elaborate plot just to gain public sympathy. God bless!

--hide--


On a related note, here's one of my favorite quotes:

“People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.

If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.

For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.”

- Posted on the wall in Mother Teresa’s convent in Calcutta

Jan 19th 2013 new
I really like that answer Kristen. That's where we have to come from. Heaven forbid I be the judge, I'd be awful at it too.
Jan 19th 2013 new

Rwo excellent posts! Thank you, Kristen

Jan 19th 2013 new

Amen to all that!

Jan 19th 2013 new
Kirsten, That is one of my ALL TIME favorite Mother Theresa quotes! Thank you for sharing it and for this discussion, very interesting and very sad. As time goes on it seems that more and more of these kinds of stories are surfacing. I think there is such a genuine hunger for people to connect and the online arena is a prime place for those with cruel intentions to prey on people who are lonely and vulnerable.
Jan 19th 2013 new
Oops! I'm sorry Kristen, I spelled you name wrong!
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