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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Mar 15th 2013 new

Jessica, thanks for your open sharing. You are a woman of courage.


As Lisa says, accept your state as you are now, and live one day at a time serving God, where you are placed right now. A sign of you following God's will and being in the right vocation is a sense of peace and joy.


I know you are praying to God for you. He will lead you to the right direction. Do not let your health and childbearing affect you.


God bless you

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Mar 15th 2013 new

Lisa, yes, that is what I am saying, with God's grace.

I do think that someone will naturally desire children if they read the catechism and scripture and received sound spiritual direction on the duo purpose of marriage (the good of the spouses, and the bringing forth and education of children), and the great gift and blessing children are.

I also think it is even a "duty" if you will of the faithful to propagate the faith by having and raising children in the faith.

One who does not "want" children needs to look at that statement itself.... "I want"....(or don't want as the case maybe). Where is openness to the will of God in such a statement?

One cannot enter into a sacramental marriage if they are not open to welcome children into that marriage. It is a basis for the granting of a decree of nullity, and no Catholic marriage should be entered into in that state of the will.

I think one can hold a preference (I am not thrilled at the idea of baving a child, but if it is God's will, I trust He will give me the grace to change my heart and mind about it), but that is not the same as marrying with no intention to ever have a child of the marriage, and then acting in such as way as to make it so (sterilization, constant contraception, even constant use of NFP throughout the entire marriage).

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Mar 15th 2013 new

(Quote) Pat-5351 said: Lisa, yes, that is what I am saying, with God's grace. I do think that someone will natura...
(Quote) Pat-5351 said:

Lisa, yes, that is what I am saying, with God's grace.

I do think that someone will naturally desire children if they read the catechism and scripture and received sound spiritual direction on the duo purpose of marriage (the good of the spouses, and the bringing forth and education of children), and the great gift and blessing children are.

I also think it is even a "duty" if you will of the faithful to propagate the faith by having and raising children in the faith.

One who does not "want" children needs to look at that statement itself.... "I want"....(or don't want as the case maybe). Where is openness to the will of God in such a statement?

One cannot enter into a sacramental marriage if they are not open to welcome children into that marriage. It is a basis for the granting of a decree of nullity, and no Catholic marriage should be entered into in that state of the will.

I think one can hold a preference (I am not thrilled at the idea of baving a child, but if it is God's will, I trust He will give me the grace to change my heart and mind about it), but that is not the same as marrying with no intention to ever have a child of the marriage, and then acting in such as way as to make it so (sterilization, constant contraception, even constant use of NFP throughout the entire marriage).

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Interesting perspective, I've never heard it before. I agree with you that you can't validly enter marriage if you have no intention of being open to children. I was questioning the assertion that all humans will naturally desire to have children if they educate themselves on the theology behind it. I have to disagree with you on that one. I think there are people out there who simply don't desire to have children not because they are not educated on the subject, but simply because God didn't place this desire in their heart. I believe this is one way God says that their vocation should be something other than marriage.

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Mar 16th 2013 new

Lisa, I thought you were refering to someone who wants to marry but does not want children, I was addressing that.

If you mean someone does not feel marriage is their vocation, and also does not "want" children, yes, that could be a sign of a religious vocation.

But someone who wants a relationship and wants sex, but does not want children, that is what I am talking about here.

One should be drawn to everything about a vocation: I heard somewhere that you should feel you are on the outside of it, like a candy store, pressing your nose against the window, wishing to do and experience all you see on the "inside." If that is how you feel, that is likely your vocation.

If it is marriage, that would include being with another person, intimately, sharing their everything, giving your everything, having sex, bearing/rearing children and all that entails. If you are not "drooling" over all that, then either you are not called to marriage, or if you have trouble with aspects of it (like the children part), one would need to educate themselves, and open their heart to let God show them the beauty in His will for that aspect.

If it is the religious life, it is that way of life itself, and the specific charism of the order one is considering, that allures through the glass (community life, celebrating the sacraments, celibacy, working iwth the poor, the vow of obedience, giving up one's family of origin, the life of prayer, the life of hard work, perhaps the discipline of silence, etc etc.) All that should draw you.

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Mar 22nd 2013 new
(Quote) Marie-933144 said: I just thought I'd share this link that I find very inspiring from Vicka, the reported Medjugorje visionary...
(Quote) Marie-933144 said:

I just thought I'd share this link that I find very inspiring from Vicka, the reported Medjugorje visionary, regarding marriage... for anyone interested
:)
www.medjugorje.org

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Marie, Some beautiful points made in that link! A good friend (former CMer) was reading this thread, found your link to be inspirational, and then shared it with me via regular e-mail.
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Mar 23rd 2013 new

(Quote) Pat-5351 said: If it is marriage, that would include being with another person, intimately, sharing their everything...
(Quote) Pat-5351 said:

If it is marriage, that would include being with another person, intimately, sharing their everything, giving your everything, having sex, bearing/rearing children and all that entails. If you are not "drooling" over all that, then either you are not called to marriage, or if you have trouble with aspects of it (like the children part), one would need to educate themselves, and open their heart to let God show them the beauty in His will for that aspect.

If it is the religious life, it is that way of life itself, and the specific charism of the order one is considering, that allures through the glass (community life, celebrating the sacraments, celibacy, working iwth the poor, the vow of obedience, giving up one's family of origin, the life of prayer, the life of hard work, perhaps the discipline of silence, etc etc.) All that should draw you.

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I agree with you about the calling to be married…to want to share everything.

St. Paul wrote (1 Corinthians 7) “The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.”

It seems like what St. Paul wrote may be more of a challenge for us in our middle age to find this person with the type of body that we would like to have control over. I would like to find a wife that would have control over my body that was in as good of physical shape as I am in and that's more difficult to find in a woman over 50. Some women may wonder why some men are interested in women 20 years younger…is that really a mystery when sex and the attraction of a woman’s body is important in a marriage.

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Jul 14th 2013 new
For myself, it's been a long process of discernment. I had always, at least, flirted with the idea of being married during my lifetime; in high school I had a mild attraction to religious life, and as I've grown into a young woman several people who knew me at one point or another asked me if I had ever considered it (seriously). I know that I am called to put away my own interests and serve God in the capacity to which He has called me, but since joining CatholicMatch--besides gradually developing a deeper prayer life--the call is coming from the vocation to married life. The particular factor that is drawing me to the desire to (hopefully) be a wife to a Godly young man, one who knows how to die to himself every day and live for God through the way he intends on raising his family, is bringing into the world saints for God's Church...not to mention I make it a prayer for myself as well, that I may become the saint He intends me to be. Praying

Since I have come to the knowledge that a Christian life requires sacrifice, suffering (which strengthens one's faith and reliance on God's Providence), and loving in the dimension of the Cross once I began my walk in the Neo-Catechumenal Way over a month ago, every day I pray that God will lead my life--sometimes in baby steps, many times I have to drag myself along the ground to get there--to live my Catholic faith deeply and practically in spite of my sinfulness. My hope and prayer is that the man God wishes to be my husband will lead our family to Heaven.
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Jul 17th 2013 new
scratchchin I have never felt any calling to the religious life and have always wanted to be married. heart lovestruck! There was never a question
Had a cousin tell me that since I am not yet married that that means I am meant to be a single dedicating my life to God. Ummmm Whether or not I am married I should be dedicating my life to God.



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Jul 17th 2013 new
(quote) Victor-544727 said:


I tend to believe that it's our natural call, and absent of a clear calling and/or desire to another vocation, it is our natural pursuit. And absent of significant external factors which could or would alter our desire to pursue that calling our belief that marriage is our calling and our pursuit of it never ends.


Dear Victor, I really believe you got the exact idea, and yes it is out natural call, and if it is your calling, never ever give up. Perhaps you may meet her later in life, many of our friends and relatives have.
Older age and being alone is a sad and depressing times for all of us, I dont care what egotistical people tell us, some brag that they love their freedom, and that is fine, I have seen what single people live through, that is why Christ made and woman, to seek out, and find a love in our lives and security.
Best wishes to you Victor, I truly hope you meet her soon.
Best Wishes
Michael
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Jul 17th 2013 new
Dear Kathleen,
Reading your letter saddened me a bit, because no one should say you are not meant to be married. You let Jesus decide that, and seeing your picture, believe me you have nothing to worry about. You are going to make some man very very lucky.
I was told many times by Catholics and Born agains that maybe you were not meant to be married. I say "well thanks for your opinion I follow Christ" I wish you all of Christ Blessings, and hopefully good news from you.
Blessings and Cheers
Michael
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