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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

01/20/2013 new

(Quote) Ray-566531 said: Tara -- I should explain for the benefit of others that there is a considerable difference in datin...
(Quote) Ray-566531 said:

Tara -- I should explain for the benefit of others that there is a considerable difference in dating in these times compared to yesteryear. Very simply put, it's more difficult nowadays. This came to light when my daughter, her friends, and classmates had a difficult time meeting guys who were interested in dating. There were friendship dates, group events, but not much individual dating.

It seems there has been a shift in attitudes toward dating. Many are waiting to finish school (higher education), become established in careers, and so on. The problem with foregoing and sacrificing personal relationships at an earlier age is that it becomes more difficult, and choices are more limited.

Many young people in your age bracket have not experienced the fun of dating because of modern-day thinking. I'm emphasizing this so that people don't think there's something wrong with those who haven't dated yet or have had limited dating experience. There is also more diversity -- not a bad thing in itself, but it leads to some complications, such as compatibility. This adds to the difficulty in finding someone suitable.

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lol Gotcha!

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01/20/2013 new

(Quote) Jessica-897416 said: When and how did you come to realize that you were called to the Sacrament of Matrimony?
(Quote) Jessica-897416 said:

When and how did you come to realize that you were called to the Sacrament of Matrimony?

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That is an interesting question. But does anyone really know that they are? Some people may think they are, but what if the relationship they are in does not work out? I'd like to think that I am, but maybe I'm not...I just don't know. Not everyone is.

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01/20/2013 new

(Quote) Marita-847688 said: I'd like to hear from a widow/widower who has actually gone through marriage.
(Quote) Marita-847688 said:


I'd like to hear from a widow/widower who has actually gone through marriage.

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OK, I'll jump in here, Marita. wave I knew I was called to the Sacrament of Matrimony around the age of 13. I had gone to a retreat and we were given some questions to ponder and told to pray for God's guidance as to our direction in life. I prayed for my future husband that God would care for and protect him. What is really humorous now that I look back is that when he came along, I didn't want to go out with him. And, in fact when he asked me out, I told him that I had a relationship with the man upstairs and I didn't date anyone who didn't have that same relationsihp. (Mind you I was only 18 and this 25 year old made me nervous). Well, he pulled a rosary from around his neck and shook the crucifix in my face...so I had to go out on that first date. And to top that all off he was late. The man was late to everything including our marriage. But he was right on time to go home to be with God six years ago.

I now know that I am, again, called to the Sacrament of Matrimony. I have resolved the grief and sorrow of the loss of my husband and found balance in my life. I miss the completeness of sharing life with and caring for someone else. I pray for my future husband accepting that he may not find me. But that is OK, too. I trust God and accept that we all have free will. So if my future husband shows up, I will be happy. And, if my future husband does not show up, I will still be happy. God has given me so much to be happy about that I am intent on enjoying the life that God has given me and being available when Mr. Right comes along. Until then, and even after, he has my prayers for safe keeping and God's guidance and care. And, I suspect, like my first husband, he will not be exactly like what I thought he would be like. But, I am sure God will let me know when he shows up, if I give God the chance.

- Elizabeth

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01/20/2013 new

The thing is I really WANT to get married and have kids, but I'm scared that if I pray about it God will lead me towards religious life. Religious life is a wonderful vocation, but I am hoping for marriage because that vocation is also beautiful. I would get God and a husband and a family. I know God puts desires in our hearts and if God was calling me to the religious life and I prayed about it I'd be happy to let Him lead the way. I'd love religious life, and realize I'd be happier there than I would be in marriage. However, I'm hoping that if I do pray for my vocation that it is marriage. I pray for my future husband, but I've never prayed for God's will on my calling. Does this make sense? Is this normal?

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01/20/2013 new

(Quote) Jessica-897416 said: When and how did you come to realize that you were called to the Sacrament of Matrimony?
(Quote) Jessica-897416 said:

When and how did you come to realize that you were called to the Sacrament of Matrimony?

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I could say yes, I'm called to marriage, but isn't it up to God's timing? God may have other plans. So I shouldn't be saying "when" I get called to the Sacrament of Matrimony, but "if". What does anyone else think? I could do all the things I'm supposed to to find a spouse(praying, adoration, etc) and still remain single. but God may have other ideas.


It boils down to I either want to find a spouse, or be ok with being single and have other fulfilling people/projects in my life.

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01/20/2013 new

(Quote) Marita-847688 said: The thing is I really WANT to get married and have kids, but I'm scared that if I pray about...
(Quote) Marita-847688 said:

The thing is I really WANT to get married and have kids, but I'm scared that if I pray about it God will lead me towards religious life. Religious life is a wonderful vocation, but I am hoping for marriage because that vocation is also beautiful. I would get God and a husband and a family. I know God puts desires in our hearts and if God was calling me to the religious life and I prayed about it I'd be happy to let Him lead the way. I'd love religious life, and realize I'd be happier there than I would be in marriage. However, I'm hoping that if I do pray for my vocation that it is marriage. I pray for my future husband, but I've never prayed for God's will on my calling. Does this make sense? Is this normal?

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I'm an extrovert who hates to deal with computers. I and like everyone and would be very tempted if I were offered a job that I could do well for a salary that I would love to have in a single office with only a computer and me. Can you imagine my life if I accepted such an offer. I would be well off finanically and totally miserable. Having fought with God on and off for many years about the way I thought life ought to be, I have come to the realization that I will be happy accepting who I am and being who God created me to be. Living life any other way is like swimming up a stream that has a strong current. It just wears you out.

You are a seeker, Marita. I am convinced you will find what you and God have in mind for you. I'll join you in praying for just that.

- Elizabeth

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01/20/2013 new

Thank you for all the responses. I thought of this question a few days ago after reading another topic posted by someone and truely wondered how other people discovered their call to marriage.


I guess I can share my response.

To be honest, I really don't remember when I realized I was called to marriage. I remember growing up wishing for a boyfriend but never really thought about marriage. I grew up in a family where praying for ones vocation was not really taught, I guess my parents both assumed that all three of their daughters would marry one day. Two fo the three are on their way and here I am stuck in-between two decisions, whether to seek the sacrament of marriage or to look further into religious life. I see so much good in both vocations, that I would be happy in both but one more than the other. I try to remember to pray daily for God's will to be done in my life. So right now I am open to both marriage and the religious life.



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01/20/2013 new

(Quote) Elizabeth-462557 said: I'm an extrovert who hates to deal with computers. I and like everyone and would...
(Quote) Elizabeth-462557 said:

I'm an extrovert who hates to deal with computers. I and like everyone and would be very tempted if I were offered a job that I could do well for a salary that I would love to have in a single office with only a computer and me. Can you imagine my life if I accepted such an offer. I would be well off finanically and totally miserable. Having fought with God on and off for many years about the way I thought life ought to be, I have come to the realization that I will be happy accepting who I am and being who God created me to be. Living life any other way is like swimming up a stream that has a strong current. It just wears you out.

You are a seeker, Marita. I am convinced you will find what you and God have in mind for you. I'll join you in praying for just that.

- Elizabeth

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Thanks, Elizabeth. What scared me up even more was the fact that last week a nun gave a talk on religious life and how she was rejecting God's calling at first. She did mention how one day she thought about how all of her past boyfriends looked like Jesus.

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01/20/2013 new

(Quote) Victor-544727 said: I tend to believe that it's our natural call, and absent of a clear calling and...
(Quote) Victor-544727 said:


I tend to believe that it's our natural call, and absent of a clear calling and/or desire to another vocation, it is our natural pursuit. And absent of significant external factors which could or would alter our desire to pursue that calling our belief that marriage is our calling and our pursuit of it never ends.

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What Victor said. smile

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01/20/2013 new

(Quote) Marita-847688 said: I'm scared that if I pray about it God will lead me towards religious life. I'm...
(Quote) Marita-847688 said:

I'm scared that if I pray about it God will lead me towards religious life. [ ... ] I'm hoping that if I do pray for my vocation that it is marriage.

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While I certainly understand how you feel, keep in mind that hoping for one outcome will make it that much more difficult to accurately discern where God is leading you -- much like trying to listen to a soft-spoken speaker in a noisy room.

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