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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Jan 18th 2013 new

Living in Easten Oregon, It is my only option. I love living in a small town in the middle of nowhere but it limits me much

Jan 18th 2013 new

(Quote) Donna-83441 said: Just wondering how you think CM pushes LDR's.. I can say in my own case I am almo...
(Quote) Donna-83441 said:


Just wondering how you think CM pushes LDR's.. I can say in my own case I am almost never contacted by anyone local.. They are on here, but silent.. How would you 'encourage' people to do diligence to the people in their local area first? I can give you an example from a few years ago.. There is a guy in Indy that has never contacted me, but he contacted a friend of mine down in Louisville who is no longer a paid member. She had no picture and a bare profile.. He certainly didn't try to contact everyone in this area. If he had I would've gotten a message and I could have responded to him. I think it's more fear than anything else.. There is safety in distance. People can pretend to be trying.

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Emotional detachment has no better friend than physical distance.


theheart

Jan 18th 2013 new

(Quote) Patrick-872788 said: Exactly. I find that CM encourages LDRs to the point of guilting its members ...
(Quote) Patrick-872788 said:

Exactly. I find that CM encourages LDRs to the point of guilting its members into going for them. The implication is that if you aren't 100% open to LDRs then you are denying God's will. For those able to make LDRs work that is wonderful and I am happy for them. But for others the logistics or finances do not work and their situations must be respected, too.

Instead of simply pushing LDRs CM needs to do more to increase membership so LDRs are not as necessary. Small ads on the back of Church bulletins and Google ad words/search results are not enough. I have seen Christian Mingle television ads but nothing on secular TV or radio from Catholic Match. Perhaps I missed them. When is Catholic Match going to get more aggressive and advertise more in secular media to drive membership?

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Patrick, you certainly have a point that there are some who like to ordain as "God's will" many things that are really simply human choice (which is why I started (and bumped up) a thread on "God's will in dating" to discuss this problem a couple weeks ago). But making local people contact local people is just as futile as having people who don't want to have a LDR be open to "God's will" in the matter. People will contact who they want, and that is okay. And I am okay with it now too, because after my initial adjustment to being on CM and realization of how things are, I have adjusted my expectations.

Jan 18th 2013 new
(Quote) Donna-83441 said: Just wondering how you think CM pushes LDR's.. I can say in my own case I am almost never contac...
(Quote) Donna-83441 said:


Just wondering how you think CM pushes LDR's.. I can say in my own case I am almost never contacted by anyone local.. They are on here, but silent.. How would you 'encourage' people to do diligence to the people in their local area first? I can give you an example from a few years ago.. There is a guy in Indy that has never contacted me, but he contacted a friend of mine down in Louisville who is no longer a paid member. She had no picture and a bare profile.. He certainly didn't try to contact everyone in this area. If he had I would've gotten a message and I could have responded to him. I think it's more fear than anything else.. There is safety in distance. People can pretend to be trying.

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Numerous blog entries and staff posts in forums sing the praises of LDRs while minimizing or ignoring the drawbacks. I understand some of that is marketing. To reiterate if people have the means and family situations too allow for LDRs, great, but a more aggressive push to increase membership would help those only able to search locally. I see your point of safety in distance. I think some people want to flirt from a distance to keep from risking the messiness of an actual relationship, or they use online flirting to boost their egos for offline encounters.
Jan 18th 2013 new

What about us that do live in the middle of nowhere?

Jan 18th 2013 new
(Quote) Victor-544727 said: Emotional detachment has no better friend than physical distance.
(Quote) Victor-544727 said:




Emotional detachment has no better friend than physical distance.






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clap clap This is so true!
Jan 18th 2013 new

I guess I'm trying to figure out why you would suggest that CM should discourage matching of any kind whether it would be close or long distance? All they do is present 'what is' people are finding each other here.. I know people who have moved internationally upon meeting someone from CM as well as here in the states.. If they find their love across the country or even in another country are you suggesting CM should not publicize that? Do you know that it is up to each couple to write a Success Story voluntarily? Maybe the LDR's are more likely to offer a success story for publication. In my list I keep, everyone of those couples is either personally known to me or to someone I know personally.. I didn't cull the Success Stories for them, not even once. A lot of those couples met right here in the Forums.

Jan 18th 2013 new

(Quote) Fred-828727 said: What about us that do live in the middle of nowhere?
(Quote) Fred-828727 said:

What about us that do live in the middle of nowhere?

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Move to Somewhere?? mischievous

Jan 18th 2013 new
(Quote) Donna-83441 said: I guess I'm trying to figure out why you would suggest that CM should discourage matching of any kind whethe...
(Quote) Donna-83441 said:

I guess I'm trying to figure out why you would suggest that CM should discourage matching of any kind whether it would be close or long distance? All they do is present 'what is' people are finding each other here.. I know people who have moved internationally upon meeting someone from CM as well as here in the states.. If they find their love across the country or even in another country are you suggesting CM should not publicize that? Do you know that it is up to each couple to write a Success Story voluntarily? Maybe the LDR's are more likely to offer a success story for publication. In my list I keep, everyone of those couples is either personally known to me or to someone I know personally.. I didn't cull the Success Stories for them, not even once. A lot of those couples met right here in the Forums.

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CM espouses LDRs as a way to pair people off. This works for some people. I am challenging them to work on something I believe would much more helpful, an aggressive push to increase membership. Again, I am happy for people who have successful LDRs. What's most unsettling though is reading when people post or imply that those not unable to enter LDRs are in defiance of God's will.
Jan 18th 2013 new
To clarify I'm not accusing you of that, Donna.
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