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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jan 27th 2013 new

(Quote) Kristen-878108 said: And LDR can work if both persons are actively seeking to get married and are reasonable in the...
(Quote) Kristen-878108 said:

And LDR can work if both persons are actively seeking to get married and are reasonable in their expectations for a spouse. But that's a BIG IF.

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There needs to be a clearcut timeline in the minds of both parties.. My ex lives here in Indiana.. He lives about a half mile from where I am sitting right now. He has been in an LDR with a woman in TX since our son was about 8...Drew is now almost 26. 'She has only been to visit here once in 16 years'. So, about every three months he gets in his car and drives to TX to see her for 10 days or so and they take a vacation in the summer which usually includes several of her Phillipino relatives.. Very weird to me.. He will be 69 this year.. I am not willing to undertake an LDR at this age that doesn't give me a clear idea that it is going somewhere.. I may as well be finding a guy on prisoners.com, if I'm still doing everything alone.

Jan 27th 2013 new

(Quote) Donna-83441 said: I may as well be finding a guy on prisoners.com, if I'm still ...
(Quote) Donna-83441 said:

I may as well be finding a guy on prisoners.com, if I'm still doing everything alone.

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Ha! You are right - there definitely needs to be a direction to where the relationship is going!

Jan 27th 2013 new

(Quote) John-34848 said: God bless you both! Congraulations!!
(Quote) John-34848 said:



God bless you both! Congraulations!!

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Thanks John!

Jan 27th 2013 new

(Quote) Jacqueline-556574 said: Brian, that is great! Congratulations to the both of you! Does Valerie like to talk...
(Quote) Jacqueline-556574 said:

Brian, that is great! Congratulations to the both of you!

Does Valerie like to talk about politics?
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Thanks Jacqueline! Oh, and yes w're very much on the same page when it comes to politics wink

Jan 27th 2013 new

(Quote) Patrick-872788 said: Exactly. I find that CM encourages LDRs to the point of guilting its members ...
(Quote) Patrick-872788 said:

Exactly. I find that CM encourages LDRs to the point of guilting its members into going for them. The implication is that if you aren't 100% open to LDRs then you are denying God's will. For those able to make LDRs work that is wonderful and I am happy for them. But for others the logistics or finances do not work and their situations must be respected, too.

Instead of simply pushing LDRs CM needs to do more to increase membership so LDRs are not as necessary. Small ads on the back of Church bulletins and Google ad words/search results are not enough. I have seen Christian Mingle television ads but nothing on secular TV or radio from Catholic Match. Perhaps I missed them. When is Catholic Match going to get more aggressive and advertise more in secular media to drive membership?

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Patrick - I agree. I think that it's over promoted and it's not a "one size fits all" situation. This is an emotional matter and not having that in person aspect to it can lead to many more "Manti" situations. I feel for the kid but that's exactly what this technology can and has done to society. God created us to have interpersonal relationships, not technological ones.

Jan 27th 2013 new

(Quote) Caroline-930073 said: This was my experience, Andrew, and I'm glad you brought it up. My first husband ...
(Quote) Caroline-930073 said:

This was my experience, Andrew, and I'm glad you brought it up. My first husband (we're now annulled) insisted that living near his family was better, since at the time they all lived within about 1 hour of each other. My siblings were younger and were finishing their college degrees throughout the midwest, but were within a day's drive. Long story short, I'm now still in California, divorced with five kids 70% time and no family to help and support me on a regular basis. His family literally all live next door to each other. My children see my family once a year.

It is extremely difficult for me to even consider LDR for fear of that happening again. AND, my budget is extremely limiting. My ex would be just THRILLED (sarcasm) to watch the kids for several days while I travel to meet up with a potenial step-dad. Sorry to be negative, and I am truly amazed and very happy for those for whom this works out. But i think I would be the one who would have to be on the receiving end of an LDR, and for many good reasons. It makes me sad, but God is good all the time!

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Caroline - I understand your view as I was "all in" with my marriage and moved to wherever my spouse's job led us which led us to a state with no family for me or friends. Now divorced and annuled it's tough. I'm here though until my son graduates and we are strong for each other but it is isolating to some extent.

Jan 27th 2013 new

(Quote) Joe-660568 said: Can a long-distance relationship REALLY work out? We often begin relationships with a dreamy imagin...
(Quote) Joe-660568 said:

Can a long-distance relationship REALLY work out? We often begin relationships with a dreamy imagination, but in reality, there is a
necessary physical element that completes a relationship... so are people SERIOUS when they say they indicate that location doesn't matter? For example, it seems like transportation costs and travel time are forgotten about; that is, until the travel bill is $600 every time you meet the person. Then you have to plan weekends over a more squeezed schedule due to recovery from travel, etc. This, in turn, lessens the frequency of the
physical time spent together, etc. Sad, given the great pool of lovely, wholesome, and incredibly cute women on this site.

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Let me start by saying that the relationship that I am going to discuss ended because the person had concerns about my annulment NOT THE DISTANCE. I had a relationship with a man from Texas. I live in Nebraska. We intially chatted, moved onto the phone, eventually to the video/web cam... We talked daily, we learned alot about each other. We played games on line, since he was originally from Louisianna, there were many dishes I hadn't experienced so we exchanged recipes, we would buy the ingredients cook at the same time, visit online while we did, we would pray together and then eat at the same time, we said a roasary weekly together, we shared music and books, we had a beautiful relationship. I went to his Fathers fueral in Louisianna, I had gone to Texas. Sure it was tough, but it was FABULOUS! If he hadn't ended up having concerns about my annulment.... I never would have looked for anyone else! I would have moved to Texas in a heartbeat!

Jan 27th 2013 new

(Quote) Joe-660568 said: Can a long-distance relationship REALLY work out? We often begin relationships with a dreamy imagin...
(Quote) Joe-660568 said:

Can a long-distance relationship REALLY work out? We often begin relationships with a dreamy imagination, but in reality, there is a
necessary physical element that completes a relationship... so are people SERIOUS when they say they indicate that location doesn't matter? For example, it seems like transportation costs and travel time are forgotten about; that is, until the travel bill is $600 every time you meet the person. Then you have to plan weekends over a more squeezed schedule due to recovery from travel, etc. This, in turn, lessens the frequency of the
physical time spent together, etc. Sad, given the great pool of lovely, wholesome, and incredibly cute women on this site.

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Let me start by saying that the relationship that I am going to discuss ended because the person had concerns about my annulment NOT THE DISTANCE. I had a relationship with a man from Texas. I live in Nebraska. We intially chatted, moved onto the phone, eventually to the video/web cam... We talked daily, we learned alot about each other. We played games on line, since he was originally from Louisianna, there were many dishes I hadn't experienced so we exchanged recipes, we would buy the ingredients cook at the same time, visit online while we did, we would pray together and then eat at the same time, we said a roasary weekly together, we shared music and books, we had a beautiful relationship. I went to his Fathers fueral in Louisianna, I had gone to Texas. Sure it was tough, but it was FABULOUS! If he hadn't ended up having concerns about my annulment.... I never would have looked for anyone else! I would have moved to Texas in a heartbeat!

Jan 27th 2013 new

Well, Fred and I are in the same boat. Here I was going to respond to him and he has left the site.
I am an older lady living in a remote area that would love to develop a relationship but only one gentleman has responded to to my message after about 20 "matches" and he declined due to distance. Being older and having a fixed income is not a replacement for good manners. LDR can happen and be successful! Please gentlemen... respond to messages with a yes, nor or maybe. God may be putting us together for a reason but we need to explore the possibilities. Why did you sign up if there was not a void in your life that you were seeking to fill?
Prudence

Jan 27th 2013 new

Hi Joe, gee perhaps it should be done in a friendship relationship first It can never work unless you really know the person and then you can meet? It is hard to fall in love right away those kind of relationships don't last as well.One of the couples should be able to move to the others area when it is time and then continue from there. There has to be trust and understanding and compliance on both parts. But remember just because their far away does not mean it can't work out. Sometimes your right in the same area and it does not work out it depends what you are looking for and what you will tolerate in each other. Getting along is a commitment to and looking forward to meeting should be like Christmas every day.It can be nice and it can be hectic to. If they are worth it then I say it is OK,the right one may never be right under your nose they could be hidden and you need to search them out.What ever happened to men liking a challenge? Blessings and Peace!!!

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