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This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.

Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
Learn More: Saint Eugene De Mazenod and Saint Fabiola

Jan 21st 2013 new

(Quote) Caroline-930073 said: Hi everyone - I'm a newbie at CM, joined 3 weeks ago. I really want to be straightforward ...
(Quote) Caroline-930073 said:

Hi everyone - I'm a newbie at CM, joined 3 weeks ago. I really want to be straightforward and honest in my profile info as well as my posts. But I have five kids, ages 5-16 all at home since my divorce in '10 and my annullment (YEAH!) in November '12. This fact, even on a Catholic website, is not the best advertising, if you catch my drift. Are there others out there who have had results either positive or negative with stating you have a large number of children? I am truly looking for a lifetime partner who will embrace them and love those kids with me, but who is willing to move here so they can still see their father. (psychologically best for them, I'm told. Stinks for me though...my family all lives in Minnesota.) Appreciate any and all thoughts on this. God bless!!

--hide--


Caroline,


I can say without question that, if given the opportunity to be an equal parent (with help from Mom along the way), I would not hesitate to marry a woman with children already. True love conquers issues of where to live.... however I would expect that their Dad does pay child support on time each month and in the full amount ordered, and I would encourage him to take an active role in his children's lives. I wouldn't want to replace a child's biological father and the important role he is entitled to (and SHOULD!!) play.


I'll turn this one around... I'd expect a woman I marry to want to be a wonderful Catholic role model to, and to build a loving home for, my existing children and any we have together.

Jan 21st 2013 new

(Quote) Jim-149694 said: Having lots of kids running in and out and about is great fun. Enough of them and there will a...
(Quote) Jim-149694 said:

[...]Having lots of kids running in and out and about is great fun. Enough of them and there will always be someone NOT mad at you! How cool is that?

[...]

It A man or woman should be able to picture the good things. A fella happy with the idea of another five kids is looking for, well, the happiness of it. There is plenty of it there. [...]

--hide--


Jim, I like your attitude... and share it!

Jan 21st 2013 new

Hi Jim! I had forgotten how your posts always make me laugh.... it is great to see you again!

Jan 21st 2013 new

Caroline, I'm an annulled mother of seven ranging from 20-5 yrs old. Custody is split between the five minor children but their dad has the house and I visit about 50%. I have pictures of my family on my profile. After a year on CM, I've had many views, several conversations, and two F2F meetings. One gentleman I consider a platonic friend and the other, well, blips the radar from time to time but I suspect will never take me seriously. I'm straight-forward about what happened and I think my expectations are tempered. I do not expect men to be lining up at the door. However, I do expect that there may be one, just one, who could come with courage to support an openess to lives that already exist, to back me up in my motherhood as we go along, even when circumstances are difficult.


Did you know? The word matrimony means "the Office of the Mother". scratchchin

Jan 21st 2013 new

Hello there pretty Chalsey,

You are in Las Vegas now? Oh, I know -- a showgirl. My goodness.

:')

Jim

Jan 21st 2013 new

Alice,

Awesome attitude. Alas, you are too young for me. Plus if I married you we would have 13, an odd number, and couldn't do the buddy system properly. Your children are your wealth Alice. Each and all of them priceless.

Some guys just love kids. Some guys can't imagine life without them. It's all good. So much funny stuff. I have one granddaughter who is a few months younger than my youngest and loves introducing her 13 year old Uncle Nick. Quirky stuff. Family stuff. You have all of that.

One child takes about 90% of your time. Two kids, 95%. Three kids, 97%. Four through a hundred kids, 99%. It's not so much different no matter how many you have, right? Of course right.

It's a matter of good parental management! For example, you know how there's always one child in the bunch who is super industrious and responsible? Well, put him or her in charge! I had my fourth one take over when he was about 8. Very good for the rest of us though, got to admit, he did look a little harried getting us off to church on time.

It all works out. We'll all find somebody. You'll see.

:')

NC Jim

Jan 22nd 2013 new

(Quote) Jim-149694 said: Alice, Awesome attitude. Alas, you are too young for me. Plus if I married you we would have...
(Quote) Jim-149694 said:

Alice,

Awesome attitude. Alas, you are too young for me. Plus if I married you we would have 13, an odd number, and couldn't do the buddy system properly. Your children are your wealth Alice. Each and all of them priceless.

Some guys just love kids. Some guys can't imagine life without them. It's all good. So much funny stuff. I have one granddaughter who is a few months younger than my youngest and loves introducing her 13 year old Uncle Nick. Quirky stuff. Family stuff. You have all of that.

One child takes about 90% of your time. Two kids, 95%. Three kids, 97%. Four through a hundred kids, 99%. It's not so much different no matter how many you have, right? Of course right.

It's a matter of good parental management! For example, you know how there's always one child in the bunch who is super industrious and responsible? Well, put him or her in charge! I had my fourth one take over when he was about 8. Very good for the rest of us though, got to admit, he did look a little harried getting us off to church on time.

It all works out. We'll all find somebody. You'll see.

:')

NC Jim

--hide--



Jim,

Your posts sure do lighten the day, so Thank You for that. biggrin

Jan 22nd 2013 new

Thank you Dana. I am glad it is so.

By golly you are much brighter than these people around me here in Asheville who do not appreciate my fine qualities. Generous of spirit, I pray for them: "Smite them O Lord, early and often!" May it do them some good, the rascals.

:')

NC Jim

Jan 22nd 2013 new

(Quote) Jim-149694 said: Oh, and the honesty issue ... I feel I must come clean about my photo. As many members have ...
(Quote) Jim-149694 said:

Oh, and the honesty issue ...

I feel I must come clean about my photo. As many members have doubtlessly already guessed -- that picture is of an incredibly attractive male model , and skillfully photo-shopped to boot. What normal fellow could achieve such preternatual male beauty? No one!

However, I wanted a pic that reflected my stellar inner beauty and this seemed a good, albeit expensive, way to convey this greater Truth. I know you will forgive me.

Gosh I feel better now!

:')

NC Jim

--hide--

I always thought that there was a strong possibility that the photo was a male model and that he must have been photoshopped to no end. You are so right. NO ONE could possibly be that good looking, that fit or that young and be 56. However, I always held out the fantasy that it was indeed you Jim and that one day you would happen to glance my way. Why would you ruin my fantasy by telling me the truth? sad Now that your photo has set such high standards of beauty and masculine perfection, I do not know if I can possibly settle for the reality of the men on this site.

Basically Jim you have ruined me. sad

Jan 23rd 2013 new

(Quote) Jim-149694 said: Alice, Awesome attitude. Alas, you are too young for me. Plus if I married you we would have...
(Quote) Jim-149694 said:

Alice,

Awesome attitude. Alas, you are too young for me. Plus if I married you we would have 13, an odd number, and couldn't do the buddy system properly. Your children are your wealth Alice. Each and all of them priceless.

--hide--


Why then, we would be the "Fairly Odd-Parents"! I always wanted to be a cartoon character! lil mikie

Thanks for your positive spin on this. Yes, it's somewhere between a slim chance and a fat chance, but there's always hope. cloudnine

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