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01/21/2013 new

As recently as today, I have encountered posts of subscribers concerned when they logged on and discovered that their potential love interest was 'on-line'. This has happened to me from time to time, but I have never perceived it as a red flag. There are more than a few reasons other than deception. I am certainly sensitive to those less secure than me. Likewise, I am aware that oportunists Catholics do exist, so this concern can be quite real.

I suppose it speaks to our reason(s) for being here. I enjoy interacting through the fora while 'unattached'. All things considered, once I have established regular communucation with someone I have an interest in and it's reciprocated, I tend to redirect my focus toward that end.

However, it seems this issue is all over the map and potentialluy disruptive to a budding relationship. Should CM adopt an online/idling system akin to fb? If not, what suggestions can you offer to alleviate the concern that a 'con' is at work?

01/21/2013 new

Do you mean something like, when you turn your chat availability "off" then your online status will also not show?


That's actually a great idea.


Also, it would be a BIG help if CM would employ an auto sign-out when someone leaves the site. Right now, if you leave the site without logging-off you will still appear as "online" for 90 minutes until you "time-out". That's a major annoyance when swapping real time communicatons.


theheart

01/21/2013 new

(Quote) Victor-544727 said: Do you mean something like, when you turn your chat availability "off" then y...
(Quote) Victor-544727 said:

Do you mean something like, when you turn your chat availability "off" then your online status will also not show?


That's actually a great idea.


Also, it would be a BIG help if CM would employ an auto sign-out when someone leaves the site. Right now, if you leave the site without logging-off you will still appear as "online" for 90 minutes until you "time-out". That's a major annoyance when swapping real time communicatons.

--hide--
Then there are those who simply walk away from the computer. Happens all the time.

01/21/2013 new

(Quote) Donnie-397050 said: As recently as today, I have encountered posts of subscribers concerned when they logged on and ...
(Quote) Donnie-397050 said:

As recently as today, I have encountered posts of subscribers concerned when they logged on and discovered that their potential love interest was 'on-line'. This has happened to me from time to time, but I have never perceived it as a red flag. There are more than a few reasons other than deception. I am certainly sensitive to those less secure than me. Likewise, I am aware that oportunists Catholics do exist, so this concern can be quite real.

I suppose it speaks to our reason(s) for being here. I enjoy interacting through the fora while 'unattached'. All things considered, once I have established regular communucation with someone I have an interest in and it's reciprocated, I tend to redirect my focus toward that end.

However, it seems this issue is all over the map and potentialluy disruptive to a budding relationship. Should CM adopt an online/idling system akin to fb? If not, what suggestions can you offer to alleviate the concern that a 'con' is at work?

--hide--
Reminds me of the song, "Suspicious Minds", Donnie. You suspect the worst but without knowing the whole story. There are a number of reasons a person might be online, and it has nothing to do with a "'con' at work". Some people communicate with friends of the same gender -- probably the ladies more than the men. Consider the pinkies room, for example. In addition, many of us have made cyberfriends with others across the country. While there isn't any thought given to dating, friendly communication is taking place.

Innocent until proven guilty?

I probably show up online nearly all day and night because of not logging out. Sometimes I'm at the computer but navigating different sites (not dating sites, FYI); at other times, I'm otherwise occupied but away from the computer. Rather than go thru the hassle of logging in and out, I just leave it alone. If there's a need for a break from some of my household projects, I'll check to see what's going on here.

This and other circumstances could be what you're encountering. Some people don't put all their eggs in one basket either. That could be happening to you, of course. Keep in mind that until you have a committed relationship, communication with others is fair game, despite your personal feelings about it.

Just hang in there and eventually things will become clearer to you about your person of interest.

01/21/2013 new

(Quote) Victor-544727 said: Also, it would be a BIG help if CM would employ an auto sign-out when someone leaves the site. R...
(Quote) Victor-544727 said:

Also, it would be a BIG help if CM would employ an auto sign-out when someone leaves the site. Right now, if you leave the site without logging-off you will still appear as "online" for 90 minutes until you "time-out". That's a major annoyance when swapping real time communicatons.

--hide--

Please elaborate. It appears you are asking for a feature you are acknowledging is already therre.

01/21/2013 new

(Quote) Donnie-397050 said: Then there are those who simply walk away from the computer. Happens all the time.
(Quote) Donnie-397050 said:

Then there are those who simply walk away from the computer. Happens all the time.

--hide--


I learned early on to always sign out when I leave the site. Because of the posts I've seen complaining about people NOT logging out.. laughing Some people I know have gotten some real flack from 'interested' parties accusing them of continuing to 'search', just because they would be online and not corresponding with the 'interested party'..I think the biggest complaints would come from members who don't know how 'addicting' Forum participation can be.. rolling eyes

I am aware that people in relationships come onto CM only to participate in the Forums, so it's not a problem for me.. The only problem I see with your suggestion is that sometimes when I send a message to someone it is helpful to me in knowing that I might get a reply back because they are online.. In my 8+ years here I have never been officially in a relationship with a CM'r.. When I had a relationship off site in 2009, I spent most of that year as a free member anyway..

I also have a little more informed idea of how the site works too.. But with Moderator under my chin all the time people need to know I'm online..I get a lot of chat requests from members asking site use questions. So my situation is a little different than most..

01/21/2013 new

(Quote) Donnie-397050 said: As recently as today, I have encountered posts of subscribers concerned when they logged on and ...
(Quote) Donnie-397050 said:

As recently as today, I have encountered posts of subscribers concerned when they logged on and discovered that their potential love interest was 'on-line'. This has happened to me from time to time, but I have never perceived it as a red flag. There are more than a few reasons other than deception. I am certainly sensitive to those less secure than me. Likewise, I am aware that oportunists Catholics do exist, so this concern can be quite real.

I suppose it speaks to our reason(s) for being here. I enjoy interacting through the fora while 'unattached'. All things considered, once I have established regular communucation with someone I have an interest in and it's reciprocated, I tend to redirect my focus toward that end.

However, it seems this issue is all over the map and potentialluy disruptive to a budding relationship. Should CM adopt an online/idling system akin to fb? If not, what suggestions can you offer to alleviate the concern that a 'con' is at work?

--hide--

Not having seen the posts you allude to, what exactly is the concern being that the other person is signed on? And not using Facebook, what are the characteristics oft he "online/idling system" you refer to?

01/21/2013 new

(Quote) Jerry-74383 said: Please elaborate. It appears you are asking for a feature you are acknowledging is alread...
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said:

Please elaborate. It appears you are asking for a feature you are acknowledging is already therre.

--hide--


No, it doesn't. The site will log you off when you leave the site, but only if you also close your browser. Otherwise, you will remain logged-on. However, even if you close your browser without manually logging-off you will still appear "online" even though you have been logged-off.


Fact, not speculation.


theheart

01/21/2013 new

(Quote) Jerry-74383 said: Not having seen the posts you allude to, what exactly is the concern being that the other...
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said:

Not having seen the posts you allude to, what exactly is the concern being that the other person is signed on? And not using Facebook, what are the characteristics oft he "online/idling system" you refer to?

--hide--


I use FB all the time and I'm not sure what he means either..LOL I never 'log out' of there so it probably looks like I'm on there 24/7.. wink

01/21/2013 new

Ray,

I liked your post. I enjoy reading the various posts/threads and am more likely to post in the "pinkies room" but thought this was a good time to chime in with my 2 cents worth. two cents Just because you are on the site does not mean you are necessarily "searching" especially if you are exploring a "possibility" with another CM person when you are not sure where it's going. I think a person must keep focus on the main person/issue, I don't know if this is a female perspective or just an individual perspective. No throwing stones here.

I agree with many comments in the posts above your's too. Also, like you, I can leave the computer on and do other things, forgetting I'm logged on to CM. I would like to see some other women comment on this subject as well.

Sent with the Best of Intentions.

theheart

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