As recently as today, I have encountered posts of subscribers concerned when they logged on and discovered that their potential love interest was 'on-line'. This has happened to me from time to time, but I have never perceived it as a red flag. There are more than a few reasons other than deception. I am certainly sensitive to those less secure than me. Likewise, I am aware that oportunists Catholics do exist, so this concern can be quite real.
I suppose it speaks to our reason(s) for being here. I enjoy interacting through the fora while 'unattached'. All things considered, once I have established regular communucation with someone I have an interest in and it's reciprocated, I tend to redirect my focus toward that end.
However, it seems this issue is all over the map and potentialluy disruptive to a budding relationship. Should CM adopt an online/idling system akin to fb? If not, what suggestions can you offer to alleviate the concern that a 'con' is at work?
I am reading your post and I am just trying to understand but having a hard time with it. If I am getting to know someone on CM on a more personal basis I would be concerned if he took exception to me logging on and interacting in the forum. That would be a red flag. There are so many reasons for being logged on to CM and I just tend to leave myself logged on even when I am not near my computer. I think that the key is communication and trust. If I am interested in you and we are getting to know each other I will let you know that implicitly and I expect you to trust that I am not seeking that kind of relationship with anyone else. I also would not be trying to get to know anyone better that I did not think that I could trust. To that end, I would never think anything of him being logged on and not directly interacting with me. It would never even occur to me that he is seeking a closer relationship with another woman. I would hope that if he was doing that I would be told by him directly. Therefore I would choose to trust him unless given cause to think otherwise. The moment I cease to trust him my interest in him would probably end.
This kind of thinking does not seem healthy to me. The thought of wanting to control someone's interactions and or limit them to only you does not sound like a normal requirement and seems a bit too controlling for me. The key is communication and trust people.