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This room is for those who have lost a spouse and need support or who can provide support to those who have.

Saint Paula is the patron saint of widows and Saint Stephen is the patron saint of deacons
Learn More: Saint Stephen and Saint Paula

Feb 3rd 2013 new

(Quote) Tracy-929496 said: Gotcha! Thanks, Linda. Have you ever visited Venerable Fr. Solanus Casey'...
(Quote) Tracy-929496 said:




Gotcha! Thanks, Linda.

Have you ever visited Venerable Fr. Solanus Casey's tomb / where he lived for so many years (died in 1959) at St. Bonaventure's in downtown Detroit? I have... I LOVE Fr. Solanus!!!

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Hi Tracy, I have visited Fr. Solanus Casey's tomb many times. It one of my favorite places to go and pray. I have laid many written prayer request on his tomb. St Bonaventure is also my favorite place to go for confession. The chapel there is stunning as well.

I also have a Fr. Solanus scapular on me at all times.

Feb 3rd 2013 new

(Quote) Al-939544 said: Hi Tracy, I lost my wife of 23 years on Dec. 28, 2012. She suffered from a rare blood disorder calle...
(Quote) Al-939544 said:

Hi Tracy, I lost my wife of 23 years on Dec. 28, 2012. She suffered from a rare blood disorder called PNH. 2012 was a very difficult year with assisted living facilities and hospital stays. The month of December was very hard going through the hospice process. The month of January has been consumed with more grieving as I go through my wife's estate and her things. I recently joined CM to start the process of taking the next steps. I am initally focusing on widows and never married. It is not going to be an easy process and we will need to figure out how to make our match feel important and for us to open ourselves to new possibilities without diminishing what we had.

I was also shocked about the comment of the "pictures" and we may run into folks that feel that way and we will need to avoid them through this process. The proces is going to be hard but we need to take comfort in our faith.

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I am so sorry for your loss, Al. CM is a wonderful Catholic community and you'll always find someone who will respond to a question you have or request for advice. It sounds like you have a solid approach and realize grief and healing is hard, and that our faith is our greatest comfort. I am sure that I am only one of many who will be praying for you.


God bless,


Elizabeth

Feb 3rd 2013 new

Hi Linda,
My family went there about 20 years ago to give thanks for 'healing' mom of 99% probable cancer.

We prayed. We trusted. We received. We thanked.

Sadly, and for reasons completely unknown to me, we did the same ~ and MORE for Paul ~ yet, he was not healed.
Please, everyone, don't tell he that he WAS healed - in God's way. I KNOW that. But, no, he was not physically healed as we expected.

We trusted so completely and so expectantly and so confidently, relying on so many Promises. I'm not bitter, nor mad at God. I'm just very bewildered and my faith has been bruised. It's something I must struggle with and entrust to Our Lady to take care of, as I'm sure She will.

I pray daily for Jesus to restore, renew, refresh and revive my TRUST in Him. I've devoted the past 12 years of my life to spreading the Divine Mercy devotion. Perhaps the Lord decided I was ready to make the ultimate sacrifice / witness. I hope I don't let Him down. The Holy Spirit cannot deny the tearful plea of a widow(er), so this painful journey we widow(er)s must walk, we can be assured that we do not walk alone.

As Jesus told St. Faustina when she was at her wit's end... "Give me everything...give me your misery." Well, He can have it! Thank you, Jesus.




Feb 3rd 2013 new

(Quote) Tracy-929496 said: Hi Linda, My family went there about 20 years ago to give thanks for 'healing' mom of...
(Quote) Tracy-929496 said:

Hi Linda,
My family went there about 20 years ago to give thanks for 'healing' mom of 99% probable cancer.

We prayed. We trusted. We received. We thanked.

Sadly, and for reasons completely unknown to me, we did the same ~ and MORE for Paul ~ yet, he was not healed.
Please, everyone, don't tell he that he WAS healed - in God's way. I KNOW that. But, no, he was not physically healed as we expected.

We trusted so completely and so expectantly and so confidently, relying on so many Promises. I'm not bitter, nor mad at God. I'm just very bewildered and my faith has been bruised. It's something I must struggle with and entrust to Our Lady to take care of, as I'm sure She will.

I pray daily for Jesus to restore, renew, refresh and revive my TRUST in Him. I've devoted the past 12 years of my life to spreading the Divine Mercy devotion. Perhaps the Lord decided I was ready to make the ultimate sacrifice / witness. I hope I don't let Him down. The Holy Spirit cannot deny the tearful plea of a widow(er), so this painful journey we widow(er)s must walk, we can be assured that we do not walk alone.

As Jesus told St. Faustina when she was at her wit's end... "Give me everything...give me your misery." Well, He can have it! Thank you, Jesus.




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Hi Tracy,


As one who has been angry, sad, fearful, pitiful...oh my the list could go on and on...I am convinced now that if we just give it to God, he will return to us what we need. My very dear friend, Fr. Fred Schmit used to quote Romans 8:28 to me and anyone who would listen, and it has gotten me through a lot "All things work for good for those who love God and are called to his purpose." I never knew the depth of Fr. Fred's pain until after he died. Yet, he held on to Romans 8:28, which I have also done. The night David died I prayed every prayer I could think of for God to save him, and then I feel to my knees and rested and prayed that God would do what was best for David and not me. God took David home right then and there in our driveway. I can now say with conviction that I am happy that David is no longer in pain and is where he was always heading. It took me a long time to get here, and the road was very difficult. But the peace I now feel about David's death and the freedom I feel to move on and make a new life is a true gift that I often wondered if I would ever have. It took four years to find that peace and in the last two years since I have found it, I have truly realized that God has so much beauty for me yet to experience.

The newness of David's death was often too hard to bear and I wondered in those first few years how I could possible continue to exist. I understand now that I had post traumatic stress. I watched David die and could do nothing to stop it from happening. I am told this is a classic situation for PTSD. Also, I've been told that I was quite normal to feel like there is something I could have done, so I've beat myself up on that one for quite a while.


The best advise I got was to keep talking to my friends and stay around my friends. Isolating yourself, especially for a woman, can be unnecessarily challenging. Each of us finds our own way. You sound like you are finding yours. I am so glad you are here and I am enjoying getting to know you. One of the best things CM has done for me is assure me that my experience is not unusual because others have been willing to write about theirs. Thank you for taking the risk and writing about yours, Tracy.

Feb 3rd 2013 new

[quote]Tracy-929496 said:


We trusted so completely and so expectantly and so confidently, relying on so many Promises. I'm not bitter, nor mad at God. I'm just very bewildered and my faith has been bruised. It's something I must struggle with and entrust to Our Lady to take care of, as I'm sure She will.


Hi Tracy -

Our family was was the same way as we trusted and had faith that my husband would be physically healed. Many people thought he would be the one to come through and show people that if you pray and believe, you will get an earthly miracle. My mother-in-law even said that if his physical healing would've been based on the number prayers prayed by others, he would've been healed. Obviously, the Lord wanted him home and I continue to believe he has a bigger job now. One thing that I take comfort in is a quote from a past Pope. He said that the "veil between heaven and earth is very thin." Your loved one is not gone, just invisible to you. My husband is now praying for me and loving me perfectly, beyond what I will ever understand until I die and meet him in heaven.

I continue to pray for healing and the Lord answers that prayer in His own way and His own timing. I pray that your trust in Our Lord will be renewed even more than you had before. It will be beautiful to see how the Lord answers that prayer!



Feb 3rd 2013 new

Thank you, Linda, Elizabeth and all of you lovely ladies and gentlemen for your kinds words and practical advice. Surely, the sharing of our common suffering and loss through a Catholic perspective is releasing many graces and allowing much healing for us all. I am so glad to have his venue to safely share my thoughts with others who have 'been there'. I am grateful to God for the beginning of many beautiful friendships!

By the way, could you please pray for three of my grandbabies? I went with my daughter Theresa to take them to the doctor this morning (Sunday). They all have RSV, a simple virus that gives adults a bad cold, but potentially serious for young ones. Abby is one, Lincoln is three and Jake is seven. Thank you.

p.s. Three year old Lincoln said Jesus won't let him get a sore throat because we all got our throats blessed after Mass last night (Feast of St. Blaise). God bless those sweet babies!!! All seven grandkids miss their Papaw so much, let alone my five children.

Feb 3rd 2013 new
(Quote) Tracy-929496 said: Thank you, Linda, Elizabeth and all of you lovely ladies and gentlemen for your kinds words and practical advic...
(Quote) Tracy-929496 said:

Thank you, Linda, Elizabeth and all of you lovely ladies and gentlemen for your kinds words and practical advice. Surely, the sharing of our common suffering and loss through a Catholic perspective is releasing many graces and allowing much healing for us all. I am so glad to have his venue to safely share my thoughts with others who have 'been there'. I am grateful to God for the beginning of many beautiful friendships!

By the way, could you please pray for three of my grandbabies? I went with my daughter Theresa to take them to the doctor this morning (Sunday). They all have RSV, a simple virus that gives adults a bad cold, but potentially serious for young ones. Abby is one, Lincoln is three and Jake is seven. Thank you.

p.s. Three year old Lincoln said Jesus won't let him get a sore throat because we all got our throats blessed after Mass last night (Feast of St. Blaise). God bless those sweet babies!!! All seven grandkids miss their Papaw so much, let alone my five children.

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Prayers for your grand babies and their parents....kids and illness is no fun!
Feb 4th 2013 new

Tracy, I pray for your grandbabies and you in your grief. Please pray for me in mine. I am grateful for many things, but I will never be blessed with children. I have two in Heaven with my husband. It just gets really painful and lonely. I had a little meltdown yesterday. I was frustrated and trying to fix something in the house and I yelled out at God. I know immature huh. But I was mad and frustrated and sometimes I get mad at Him. My whole marriage was wracked with many pains but my husband never had much relief. So he was the one that suffered., truly. But then God helped me and my problem was fixed within minutes of me throwing in the towel. God is good. God is love. Thanks for letting me vent here. wave Praying heart

Feb 4th 2013 new

Dear Jane,
Yes, I will pray for you to have peace and comfort in your loneliness and grief. I hope that I never get so wrapped up in my own problems, that I neglect others in pain, as well. I realize how greatly blessed I am with my large extended family and abundance of friends. Faith is also a gift which I ask for dailiy, but do not deserve. I thank Him anyway.

It's OK to talk tough with God, even shout out our fears, worries and sorrows at Him. Some may be shocked by me saying this, but Our Father has big shoulders and more compassion than we do, thank goodness. Jesus was human and knew frustration, loneliness, grief, rejection, etc. He experienced it all. He told St. Faustina to give Him everything, even her misery, when she was going through a rough time.

If some still object to this, just think about the alternative. Is it better to simply give up? Walk away? Reject our faith, our prayer life, our life-line to heaven? When St. Elizabeth of Hungary lost her dear husband Louis in her early twenties (and with several children), she ran through the halls of their castle screaming, almost going crazy with grief. God loves us just as we are, and right where we are emotionally, mentally and spiritually. He cries WITH us when we are in pain or suffering some great sorrow.

So cast your cares on Him because He cares for you!

Peace, Tracy

Feb 4th 2013 new

Dear Jane,
Yes, I will pray for you to have peace and comfort in your loneliness and grief. I hope that I never get so wrapped up in my own problems, that I neglect others in pain, as well. I realize how greatly blessed I am with my large extended family and abundance of friends. Faith is also a gift which I ask for dailiy, but do not deserve. I thank Him anyway.

It's OK to talk tough with God, even shout out our fears, worries and sorrows at Him. Some may be shocked by me saying this, but Our Father has big shoulders and more compassion than we do, thank goodness. Jesus was human and knew frustration, loneliness, grief, rejection, etc. He experienced it all. He told St. Faustina to give Him everything, even her misery, when she was going through a rough time.

If some still object to this, just think about the alternative. Is it better to simply give up? Walk away? Reject our faith, our prayer life, our life-line to heaven? When St. Elizabeth of Hungary lost her dear husband Louis in her early twenties (and with several children), she ran through the halls of their castle screaming, almost going crazy with grief. God loves us just as we are, and right where we are emotionally, mentally and spiritually. He cries WITH us when we are in pain or suffering some great sorrow.

So cast your cares on Him because He cares for you!

Peace, Tracy

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