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This room is for those who have lost a spouse and need support or who can provide support to those who have.

Saint Paula is the patron saint of widows and Saint Stephen is the patron saint of deacons
Learn More: Saint Stephen and Saint Paula

Oct 14th 2013 new
(quote) Tracy-929496 said:

I am recently widowed after my dear husband Paul died in my arms (cancer). While he was ill, Paul gave me his blessing and permission to 'move forward' and did not want me to be alone. After being a member of CM since New Year's Eve 2012 (my birthday is New Year's Day), I am wondering if I ~ and any widow/widower ~ should limit their search for a partner/helpmate/future spouse to only other widows/widowers. Considering the unique circumstances, grief and pain of loss that we bear, is it possible that someone other than 'us' could ever truly relate?

Can a 'never married' or 'divorced' person ever understand and accept the path of married love that we had and lost? Help me out here...I'm trying to navigate my way through very murky and stormy waters...

p.s. Please don't beat me up. I am the child of divorced Catholic parents, so I DO have insight into both worlds. Unfortunately, I have now become a member of both unwelcome 'clubs'.

Walk in Faith and God will provide you with a new husband

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Oct 17th 2013 new
first of all, sorry for your loss. Never to have loved and lost, then to never have loved!!!!

Suggestion: for your daughter not wanting to join in on rosary. Do you listen to Relevant Radio - - - there is always some answer to every issue on that program. Try it - - some of the questions I have asked years ago, are being answered now by listening to Relevant Radio.
Dec 14th 2013 new
I will pray for you Tracy.... Praying Praying rosary
Dec 14th 2013 new
Big hugs Tracy!! I think we have talked about this topic before. I myself still struggle a bit with wondering about the question. I finally decided to not fret over it and let God send whomever he wishes my direction -- if anyone :-) -- and surprisingly I am starting to be okay with that as well. There are advantages I think to dating only other widowed persons, because of the common ground of grief. I think it is important to note as well that not everyone who is widowed had a strong and happy marriage. I think the fact that we had a successful marriage that ended not by our choice gives us an advantage in knowing how deeply we are able to love, how deeply we can be hurt and still survive it.

But,those who experienced a divorce are also going through a version of grief as well and those who have never married may bring an entirely new perspective to a relationship. I think those who have been divorced on the whole would like to experience a different type of marriage, so they may have a stronger incentive to be a good partner. And, they may very well need the type of love that some widowed persons are able to provide.

So after this convoluted little message, I think, you should just give God some flexibility here to send you whom he wishes for you. And, give yourself permission to relax and be open to whomever He sends your way. While there is the view that one should only be serious about those one dates because the ultimate goal is marriage, so as the old teen prayer says -- never choose a date who would not make a good mate. ---- I think it is also quite permissible to date to experience people -- develop friendships with some and others will fall away and others will become something more, some will be something for a season and others not at all. I really believe when you meet the right one, it will sort of take on a life of its own and even when you doubt the Lord will open pathways to ease your mind. And, remember there is no rush, all in God's time.

Dec 15th 2013 new
Tracy,
I am sorry for your loss. I too held my husband of 40 years in my arms as he passed to God's loving arms. Unfortunately I live in a small community and have yet to date anyone who is widowed and a Catholic widower is even less common here. I have decided that since it is beyond my control, I must let God help find the answer.
Dec 15th 2013 new
Welcome!
Dec 16th 2013 new
Thanks for the welcome. Blessings, Chris
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