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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jan 26th 2013 new

You're welcome!

I love the humility of the author. Aware of his weaknesses, willing to reflect and change, and pressing forward with grace. Simply beautiful!

Jan 26th 2013 new

(Quote) Sarah-901988 said: You're welcome! I love the humility of the author. Aware of his weaknesses, willing t...
(Quote) Sarah-901988 said:

You're welcome!

I love the humility of the author. Aware of his weaknesses, willing to reflect and change, and pressing forward with grace. Simply beautiful!

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Sarah I completely agree with you on that assessment. I was once told by a sage that a good marriage is made of two good forgivers but I think that it goes so much further. It requires that both parties have the humility to not only be patient and forgive each other's moments of weakness and flaws but to be introspective and willing to change themselves continuously for the better. The awareness that prayer and grace is needed is so necessary as marriage by its very nature is meant to highlight our need for God.

Jan 26th 2013 new

A great article. I enjoyed reading it. I think it is right on target.

Jan 26th 2013 new

What a lovely topic on marriage that the need of God's presence is becomming so important.

I think of marriage like a stool ( a wooden seat without arm or back) with three legs. Husband, God and Wife.

Without the other the stool will not stand it will collapse. The three needs to be together,finding each others beauty

and goodness to cultivate, to nourish, to nurture and to be connected all the time, putting God in the center.

We can also find marriage in heaven here on earth. It's what we make it. Let's pray to that. Thank you Shara,

their's really in need to Highligt God in every married life.

Jan 26th 2013 new

Wow Sarah This article is totally correct however it is not a chore it is a delight to do for the other. For me I am in a great place in myself and do not look for another to complete me. Somehow this artcle lends itself to the immaturity of the neediness aspect but the man / husband is mature and he is on the right track.
It would be the ideal when both partners are mature and can get it together. I am ready to but lots aren't. I am replying just to what you posted I will read the article and get back to you ! Thanks great discussion point! ~ Linda

Jan 26th 2013 new

Awesome article, Sarah! and something that I think many forget. It seems to be a common thought amongst single catholics that "finding my vocation/getting married will solve all of my problems," a nice fairy tale to be sure, but only that.

I especialy like the last truth he puts out there: that good marraiges produce good parents and happy children. marraiges where the parents revolve around their children tend to have stressed families who love each other but are constantly strained. Whereas marraiges where the parents put each other first and kids revolve around their relationship are so much better functioning and less strained. At least, it seems that way to an outsider like me. scratchchin

Jan 26th 2013 new

Gods purpose for marriage is to unite two imperfect humans in mind ,heart body and soul, to help each other reach heaven. we do this by the perfecting process mentioned in the article
The grace that marriage brings a couple to do this , is the soulmate that our soul craves to be completed. God gave all his creatures the yearning to perfect, learn and come closer to him and to fulfil the vocation he instilled in us so we can love others more and be a good a happy servant when we finally meet him again returning home. Light , Love, Joy Today to you all !!Linda

Jan 26th 2013 new

(Quote) Linda-928471 said: Gods purpose for marriage is to unite two imperfect humans in mind ,heart body and soul, to help ...
(Quote) Linda-928471 said:

Gods purpose for marriage is to unite two imperfect humans in mind ,heart body and soul, to help each other reach heaven. we do this by the perfecting process mentioned in the article
The grace that marriage brings a couple to do this , is the soulmate that our soul craves to be completed. God gave all his creatures the yearning to perfect, learn and come closer to him and to fulfil the vocation he instilled in us so we can love others more and be a good a happy servant when we finally meet him again returning home. Light , Love, Joy Today to you all !!Linda

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Great thoughts Linda. hug However, we must not forget though that it is God that completes our soul and not another human being. The craving of our soul for completion is a craving for God. What a soulmate does help us do is stay focused on God when we falter and encourage us to get back up and persevere when the cross gets too heavy as it will at times. We all need community on the journey to God.Some find it in the religious or lay life and others in marriage. Therefore it is normal and good to long for companionship on the journey as long as we understand that they are only companions, not the journey. Love you chica. wink

Jan 26th 2013 new

wave Hi friends the wonderful woman of CM
Thank you I do absolutely agree GOD is the FIRST ONE who and only him fills me completely. I do not want to be misunderstood that a relationship will do that OH NO! For me i SIMPLY want to share this journey. Again, this article is totally what it is all about. Th selflessly giving of yourself just as Jesus did that for us. For me I put it in action and live it daily. Like many of us I give and do willingly, lovingly and offer my time to others with no thought of return. I have a grateful spirit. I love the gentle self reflective spirit of the husband's response in this articl like most of you have expressed here. The Holy Spirit is ever present in the Grace of the catholic sacrament of Marriage. I know that. A praying, prayerful couple that can pray each night aloud sharing their prayers FOR EACH OTHER / THEIR STRUGGLES/ THEIR INTENTIONS AND PETITIONS are unified in the spirit whick makes the sharing of the body in marriage the most profound and soulful experience you can ever have. ~ Linda

Jan 26th 2013 new
(Quote) Sarah-901988 said: I found a lot of good food for thought in this article: www.relevantmagazine.com.
(Quote) Sarah-901988 said:

I found a lot of good food for thought in this article: www.relevantmagazine.com

I found these bits from the first section particularly interesting:



"I’m intensely certain that nothing in life has ever made me more angry, frustrated or annoyed than my wife. Inevitably, just when I think I’ve given all I can possibly give, she somehow finds a way to ask for more.



The worst part of it all is that her demands aren’t unreasonable. One day she expects me to stay emotionally engaged. The next, she's looking for me to validate the way that she feels. The list goes on—but never ventures far from things she perfectly well deserves as a wife.

Unfortunately for her, deserving or not, her needs often compete with my self-focus. I know it shouldn’t be this way, but I am selfish and stubborn and, overall, human."


" . . . contrary to popular opinion, the goal of marriage is not happiness. And although happiness is often a very real byproduct of a healthy relationship, marriage has a far more significant purpose in sight. It is designed to pull dysfunction to the surface of our lives, set it on fire and help us grow."


Love can draw us out of ourselves, to see more clearly the other person (their perspective, their needs, their dignity). The "drawing out" can be a challenge, but is beautiful and worthwhile.

Thoughts on the article?

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Thank you for posting Sarah. It would be interesting to know which of the 4 temperaments he is . . . I'm thinking Melancholic.
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