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This room is dedicated to those who are facing the challenge of raising children without the support of a spouse. This is a place to share ideas and lend mutual support.

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Foster Care

01/27/2013 new

Good morning all,
I am curious what your thoughts are on this. I have recently started providing foster care. I don't currently have a placement but could any day. I wasn't doing online dating when I had my last (and first) placement but am giving the whole online dating thing another try. I am not sure how to handle telling a potential date that I have a foster child. I do think it needs to come up pretty quick though because I don't want to waste my time with anyone that would be a deal breaker with. A friend of mine that also does foster care and seems to always have a placement put it right there in her profile. What are your suggestions?

01/27/2013 new
First off...God bless you for being a signing up to be one. It's a necessary and under appreciated role in the children services field. I would suggest writing about it in your profile and expanding on what led you to choose that....clearly it speaks volumes about your personality and character and isn't that we're supposed to write about? Just my thoughts.
01/27/2013 new

(Quote) Karla-113052 said: Good morning all,I am curious what your thoughts are on this. I have recently started providi...
(Quote) Karla-113052 said:

Good morning all,
I am curious what your thoughts are on this. I have recently started providing foster care. I don't currently have a placement but could any day. I wasn't doing online dating when I had my last (and first) placement but am giving the whole online dating thing another try. I am not sure how to handle telling a potential date that I have a foster child. I do think it needs to come up pretty quick though because I don't want to waste my time with anyone that would be a deal breaker with. A friend of mine that also does foster care and seems to always have a placement put it right there in her profile. What are your suggestions?

--hide--
I would definitely put it in your profile. God Bless

01/27/2013 new

(Quote) Karla-113052 said: Good morning all,I am curious what your thoughts are on this. I have recently started providi...
(Quote) Karla-113052 said:

Good morning all,
I am curious what your thoughts are on this. I have recently started providing foster care. I don't currently have a placement but could any day. I wasn't doing online dating when I had my last (and first) placement but am giving the whole online dating thing another try. I am not sure how to handle telling a potential date that I have a foster child. I do think it needs to come up pretty quick though because I don't want to waste my time with anyone that would be a deal breaker with. A friend of mine that also does foster care and seems to always have a placement put it right there in her profile. What are your suggestions?

--hide--
Foster care can be such a positive experience for youngsters -- and the foster parents. Foster parenting is certainly a noble undertaking, involving a lot of responsibility. If I understand you correctly, your system has temporary placements until permanent housing arrangements take place. This shouldn't be more than a minor inconvenience to a would-be suitor. Naturally a person wants to spend time alone with a date, and that can usualy be arranged. If there is a time gap in between placements, or you can arrange one, you can have some "alone" time. It's a blend if done that way.

If you're firmly resolved to continue foster care, this should be brought out at the onset, or close to it. Unfortunately, some people just don't want a ready-made family, or children in the picture right away. Sometimes they need to do some deep thinking about it. You might find an ideal situation with a potential suitor who likes to be with children and could actually be a great help to you.

Letting a person know upfront seems a better way to go to avoid hurt feelings and disappointment later on. Once there is an attachment, it's more difficult to break-up. It could be a matter of separating the wheat from the chaff.

01/27/2013 new

(Quote) Karla-113052 said: Good morning all,I am curious what your thoughts are on this. I have recently started providi...
(Quote) Karla-113052 said:

Good morning all,
I am curious what your thoughts are on this. I have recently started providing foster care. I don't currently have a placement but could any day. I wasn't doing online dating when I had my last (and first) placement but am giving the whole online dating thing another try. I am not sure how to handle telling a potential date that I have a foster child. I do think it needs to come up pretty quick though because I don't want to waste my time with anyone that would be a deal breaker with. A friend of mine that also does foster care and seems to always have a placement put it right there in her profile. What are your suggestions?

--hide--



I think that is wonderful that you will be providing foster care for a child in need. God Bless you in your efforts. I see you put it in your profile, so now you don't have to worry how to tell your potential date... I was also thinking since you posted the topic it is now public information for any member to see that you started this thread. So if he is savvy enough he would have found your post.

God Bless you Karla. I admire your strength to be a foster mom. I would love to do that someday too if God gives me the strength ...

Blessings to you
Kathleen Praying rosary theheart

01/27/2013 new

(Quote) Karla-113052 said: Good morning all,I am curious what your thoughts are on this. I have recently started providi...
(Quote) Karla-113052 said:

Good morning all,
I am curious what your thoughts are on this. I have recently started providing foster care. I don't currently have a placement but could any day. I wasn't doing online dating when I had my last (and first) placement but am giving the whole online dating thing another try. I am not sure how to handle telling a potential date that I have a foster child. I do think it needs to come up pretty quick though because I don't want to waste my time with anyone that would be a deal breaker with. A friend of mine that also does foster care and seems to always have a placement put it right there in her profile. What are your suggestions?

--hide--
Karla, The U.S. needs foster parents. I have worked with many of them over the years, and think highly of them. This is one of the more difficult jobs. It is a testament to your character, your ability to live with stress 24/7 and your values. Your heart's in the right place. And yes, I think it say much about you.

01/27/2013 new

(Quote) Karla-113052 said: Good morning all,I am curious what your thoughts are on this. I have recently started providi...
(Quote) Karla-113052 said:

Good morning all,
I am curious what your thoughts are on this. I have recently started providing foster care. I don't currently have a placement but could any day. I wasn't doing online

--hide--

Karla, I don't know what the rules are in your state,but in TX you can't have anyone in your home with a foster child (not even family) unless they are also trained for foster care. Just something to think about.

01/27/2013 new

I decided to put it in my profile. I would rather someone know right away. Thank you all for your kind words. I was very blessed with my first placement. I had a 6 year old boy for 3 months. He went back home right before Christmas. I just went back on the open bed list last week so I am sure I will have another little one soon enough.

Lisa - I think the rules are the same here in Az.. Not a problem for me as I live alone. If I meet a man and we plan to marry he will have to be willing to do what it takes to be licensed crossfingers .

01/28/2013 new

(Quote) Karla-113052 said: Good morning all,I am curious what your thoughts are on this. I have recently started providi...
(Quote) Karla-113052 said:

Good morning all,
I am curious what your thoughts are on this. I have recently started providing foster care. I don't currently have a placement but could any day. I wasn't doing online dating when I had my last (and first) placement but am giving the whole online dating thing another try. I am not sure how to handle telling a potential date that I have a foster child. I do think it needs to come up pretty quick though because I don't want to waste my time with anyone that would be a deal breaker with. A friend of mine that also does foster care and seems to always have a placement put it right there in her profile. What are your suggestions?

--hide--


Karla, that is great. I was thinking about being a foster parent in a few years. Please keep us updated on how it all goes. Some of us single girls can learn from you. Thanks!

01/28/2013 new

Karla-

I was a foster parent for 6 years. It was the hardest thing I've ever loved. It helped me realize why Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."

Sadly, there are SO many kids in the foster system. Its heart breaking. If a man is worth his salt and he is open to children, fostering together should be a no brainer. It I believe your relationship will be all the better for it.

Bless you.

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