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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jan 27th 2013 new

(Quote) Bryan-7889 said: Of course not...I guess we're just as picky as the ladies...;) But, the most beautiful person ...
(Quote) Bryan-7889 said:

Of course not...I guess we're just as picky as the ladies...;) But, the most beautiful person with an ugly interior full of unresolved issues, bad feelings, and animosity...well...all I can do is pray for her.
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That, for sure, is the best we can do smile

Jan 27th 2013 new
Jan 27th 2013 new
I think being here is kind of hard..some people are better at articulating what they want and what type of person..some are more photogenic than others..I know many of the boyfriends I've dated I wouldn't have necessarily picked them out from a profile they wrote..real life is different..3-d is different..but they were all handsome and funny in their own way. I have met some people who their profile doesn't do them justice at all..they pick out the wrong pictures and aren't really sure what to say..but in person..wow..I have been surprised. Just because they aren't perfect in the profile doesn't mean they aren't worthwhile to meet per se..I've had the opposite too btw..great profile then that's all that was great..then nothing left that's interesting to say too. I just glanced at a profile in the search..the guy had sunglasses on and was frowning..first few lines, because I didn't click on him were "I'm not good at talking to people" something like that...do you really want to be found? I mean seems like a waste of time to be that closed off. I'm quiet myself, but that's a little too quiet if you ask me. I'm sure he's a nice guy, but he's not doing himself any favors.
Jan 27th 2013 new

(Quote) Michaela-695223 said: I think being here is kind of hard..some people are better at articulating what they want and what ty...
(Quote) Michaela-695223 said: I think being here is kind of hard..some people are better at articulating what they want and what type of person..some are more photogenic than others..I know many of the boyfriends I've dated I wouldn't have necessarily picked them out from a profile they wrote..real life is different..3-d is different..but they were all handsome and funny in their own way. I have met some people who their profile doesn't do them justice at all..they pick out the wrong pictures and aren't really sure what to say..but in person..wow..I have been surprised. Just because they aren't perfect in the profile doesn't mean they aren't worthwhile to meet per se..I've had the opposite too btw..great profile then that's all that was great..then nothing left that's interesting to say too. I just glanced at a profile in the search..the guy had sunglasses on and was frowning..first few lines, because I didn't click on him were "I'm not good at talking to people" something like that...do you really want to be found? I mean seems like a waste of time to be that closed off. I'm quiet myself, but that's a little too quiet if you ask me. I'm sure he's a nice guy, but he's not doing himself any favors.
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Please do not feel that you need to be anyone but yourself. Who you are is beautiful in God's eyes and if you are called to marriage, the person whom God has for you will think that you are perfect for him. I think that what people are saying is that we all find different things attractive but you have to be attracted to the person you are dating.

The other view being expressed is that we should all take the time to exercise and care for our physical well-being for health reasons and also as a boon to your spouse. Our bodies are the temple and it is never a bad idea or ever too late to give the temple a regular sweeping. wink I probably need to dust out my temple more often than I do. shhh No one would ever want to make you feel excluded or not beautiful or not good enough. We could not do that as it would be a lie. You are very beautiful and exactly as God desired you to be for his plan for you. Don't forget that. Trust in God's knowledge of your needs and how he equipped you to provide for them. Some people need a shy quiet girl instead of a more expressive girl. Work with the tools God gave you and pretty soon you will find that you have built a beautiful house. hug rosary theheart

Jan 27th 2013 new

I've always said, just because a package has pretty wrapping, doesn't mean the contents are just as nice, sadly even Christians get too caught up in the shiny pretty wrapping paper!

Jan 27th 2013 new

I agree that, people don't admit it, I look at others and make decisions if I'm attracted. Yes there are some things that are not as important when it comes to looks if they person has an amazing heart or etc. So thanks for putting it out there! Honesty Luv it

Jan 28th 2013 new

(Quote) Jacqueline-198 said: I've always said, just because a package has pretty wrapping, doesn't mean the contents...
(Quote) Jacqueline-198 said:

I've always said, just because a package has pretty wrapping, doesn't mean the contents are just as nice, sadly even Christians get too caught up in the shiny pretty wrapping paper!

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I agree, absolutely. But the wrapping paper is important. That's what I meant. But admitting that it is isn't kindly met.

Jan 28th 2013 new

(Quote) Brian-144650 said: I'm thinking the oft referred to dating question of, what is most important faith, personalit...
(Quote) Brian-144650 said:

I'm thinking the oft referred to dating question of, what is most important faith, personality, looks, values, etc..is illogical.

For me the person needs to be attractive (looks), mesh with my personality, and share my faith/values. I cannot imagine dating somone, and I have attempted, who only shares my faith/values but I'm not attracted to them or we don't quite mesh personality wise or even 2 of the 3.

thoughts?

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I think this is one of those things that is especially problematic with online meeting. Attraction is tied up in so many things and so many facets and even the homliest of males can be powerfully attractive because they exude masculinity or have a deep bear laugh that transforms their face. And, the same for women. I have never considered myself beautiful, not hideous, just plain and ordinary, but my husband thought I was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen and he really thought that. The things that truly make a person beautiful can't be guaged by a photograph and a few emotigrams. And, even purely physcial beauty is variable and differentially appreciated by others. A person may be ordinary at first glance and then they smile, or they have remarkable eyes or beautiful hands or any number of single traits that can reach out and spark another's interest. But, as others have noted, if there is no inner beauty then the initial physical beauty pales.

Jan 28th 2013 new

(Quote) Lauren-927923 said: I think this is one of those things that is especially problematic with online meeting....
(Quote) Lauren-927923 said:

I think this is one of those things that is especially problematic with online meeting. Attraction is tied up in so many things and so many facets and even the homliest of males can be powerfully attractive because they exude masculinity or have a deep bear laugh that transforms their face. And, the same for women. I have never considered myself beautiful, not hideous, just plain and ordinary, but my husband thought I was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen and he really thought that. The things that truly make a person beautiful can't be guaged by a photograph and a few emotigrams. And, even purely physcial beauty is variable and differentially appreciated by others. A person may be ordinary at first glance and then they smile, or they have remarkable eyes or beautiful hands or any number of single traits that can reach out and spark another's interest. But, as others have noted, if there is no inner beauty then the initial physical beauty pales.

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I am not sure why you do not realize that you that you are very beautiful. Not plain at all. Your comment about your husband is exactly the point that Peter was trying to make. That your husband found you beautiful and he loved the wrapping. Attraction and beauty is not based on the standards that the media and fashion industry set for us,. Sometimes as you put it we may not find someone attractive at first but then something about them sparks our attraction. When it comes down to it you are have to be attracted. I think that you may be thinking that what we are saying is that you need to fit a mold dictated by society to be attractive but that is not at all what we are saying. We are saying that you have to be physically attracted to your significant other. What that means for each person is different. That attraction changes with time as you grow older together. I know that what and whom I found attractive at 20 is not the same as I do now. Inner beauty definitely amplifies outer beauty but the attraction to something about that person must be there. It is a natural response and an important and integral part of love IMO.

Jan 28th 2013 new

(Quote) Shara-929649 said: I am not sure why you do not realize that you that you are very beautiful. Not plain at ...
(Quote) Shara-929649 said:

I am not sure why you do not realize that you that you are very beautiful. Not plain at all. Your comment about your husband is exactly the point that Peter was trying to make. That your husband found you beautiful and he loved the wrapping. Attraction and beauty is not based on the standards that the media and fashion industry set for us,. Sometimes as you put it we may not find someone attractive at first but then something about them sparks our attraction. When it comes down to it you are have to be attracted. I think that you may be thinking that what we are saying is that you need to fit a mold dictated by society to be attractive but that is not at all what we are saying. We are saying that you have to be physically attracted to your significant other. What that means for each person is different. That attraction changes with time as you grow older together. I know that what and whom I found attractive at 20 is not the same as I do now. Inner beauty definitely amplifies outer beauty but the attraction to something about that person must be there. It is a natural response and an important and integral part of love IMO.

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HI Shara,

First, thank you. And, second, I really was trying to agree lol. Physical attraction is part of the natural process and of course it is important. I just think the online medium starts off disadvantaged in being able to completely spark that initial attraction because it is basically so unanimated and lacking in nuance, so I think we have to remember that when we are viewing profiles and maybe put that as a secondary consideration to some extent intially in this format. But, we cannot completely ignore attraction either.

I also agree totally about our changing tastes as we move through life. Made me think of being a young teen and my friend had a stack of football and baseball player playing cards she thought were so cute. I can remember going through them and thinking uhhh no, they had thick necks and big arms and hair on their faces. . . no way. If I went through that same stack today I would probably have an entirely new appreciation for them.

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