Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.
Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael
Just something I saw on the interwebs a few weeks ago.... I'm just the messenger..
I enjoyed it nonetheless...!
I believe that a good relationship first stems out of the desire to want to be friends. And yes Marian, if the person isn't even interested in asking about you, I certainly agree, it's not worth it. There's no desire to connect at that point and that's certainly no way to show if he actually cares.
For a man, the most important aspect in a marraige is to be chivalrous, even in the small ways. Get to know her, know what she likes, and find out what is important, but you can't do any of that without first knowing how to be a friend.
One of the things I've learned in my years so far is that there is a huge difference between being a friend with someone and being a co- dependent with someone. A co-dependent says, well I did this for you so I expect you to allow me to do ___ and furthermore you better be willing to let me do ____ because (this is the part that hides underneath the motive usually) you need me for ____ dont you?
A friend says, what can I do for you? without counting the cost. A friend admits when he can't do something but would be willing to make up for it in other ways. And finally, a friend does what he does for his friend for his or her sake, expecting nothing in return.
That's the starting point I think.
When we do something for another person- we start to bond to them and they to us. This is one way to build a relationship. So serving another does open the door to relationship with that person. Anything could come under this heading of serving or doing for another. Something as small as holding the door open, or something like inviting a person to come and have a home cooked meal, or any other gesture that comes out of time together.