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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people 45+. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

The story of Abraham and Sarah is told in chapters 11-25 of the book of Genesis.
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Jan 31st 2013 new

(Quote) Patricia-29176 said: Oh, thank you Cathy. (although I'm not sure everyone would agree with you since thi...
(Quote) Patricia-29176 said:



Oh, thank you Cathy. (although I'm not sure everyone would agree with you since this is such a touchy subject on CM!)

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Truthfully Dr. Patricia, I just told a friend that I wanted to pat you on the back and tell you thank you! So, THANK YOU! hug hug

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Jan 31st 2013 new

Perhaps.

But why do so many men over 50 immediately rule out women who already have children in favor of pursuing younger women who may or may not be interested in giving them a family?

That's another topic.

And I know the answer to my own question. shhh

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Jan 31st 2013 new

(Quote) Patrick-341178 said: If the Bible says to be fruitful and multiply, should mid 30 something and 40 something men da...
(Quote) Patrick-341178 said:

If the Bible says to be fruitful and multiply, should mid 30 something and 40 something men date younger women?

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Yes, if the Bible says that there is nothing wrong with it, then it is OK. Women in their 30's and 40's though can still have children so there is no need for men that age to be dating much younger women.

The important thing in our age seems to be marriages that aren't valid with the high divorce rates. I don't think age difference has anything to do with making a marriage valid.

The only ones that I've known getting married with over a 20 year age difference did not meet on an internet dating site, but in person in a Catholic singles group.

Prayer and faith in our Lord Jesus may lead us to our spouse....when we start judging others it seems our faith is lacking..

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Jan 31st 2013 new

(Quote) Mary-784275 said: Truthfully Dr. Patricia, I just told a friend that I wanted to pat you on the back an...
(Quote) Mary-784275 said:


Truthfully Dr. Patricia, I just told a friend that I wanted to pat you on the back and tell you thank you! So, THANK YOU!

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You're welcome, Mary! I appreciate the "pat on the back". wave hug

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Feb 1st 2013 new

(Quote) Patricia-29176 said: Actually, I've found that many men age really poorly (especially a...
(Quote) Patricia-29176 said:



Actually, I've found that many men age really poorly (especially after meeting several men this year ages 64-68 some of whom couldn't even keep up walking down a few blocks of city streets (and I had slowed down my pace) without getting out of breath and seeming like they might have a heart attack (lucky that I'm a physician!)). In fact, I have not met one man over the age of 63who seems to be in reasonably decent shape for his age - hopefully there are a few out there!

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Then you'll just have to go the other route I suppose eyebrow laughing twimg0-a.akamaihd.net

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Feb 1st 2013 new

(Quote) Helen-450889 said: (Quote) Patricia-29176 said: Okay, as a physician, I have to say it again. A woman in...
(Quote) Helen-450889 said:
Quote:
Patricia-29176 said:



Okay, as a physician, I have to say it again. A woman in her 40's and some even in their early 50's can successfully have a baby or babies. Does fertility decline with age - yes to some degree, but as Donna said women and men in their 20's and 30's can be infertile or have reduced fertility. The bigger issue over age 35 is that the risk of genetic defects increases such as Down's Syndrome. But, this does not just have to do with the woman, the man's genetic contribution also has more risk as he ages. And, of course, if either party is infertile, there are so many wonderful children out there that would love to have a mother and father - adoption is an excellent option.

It is far more important to find the person you love and can spend the rest of your life with in a marriage blessed by God, whether the person is your age, older, or younger, than to be looking in essence for someone to have your baby. Many of those marriages end in divorce within a couple years. I have talked to many men who married a woman much younger, had a baby, and then divorced within a couple years because the age difference was too much, they had nothing in common, the woman's attention was focused on the child, etc. (these are the reasons the men told me, I'm not making them up). Fortunately, some of these men have now learned from this experience and are now looking for a woman closer to their own age. But to be divorced when your child is so young, really is a huge cost to place on that child for the man's (and woman's) mistake and misjudgement in marrying with such a large age difference, in addition to the pain and difficulty it also costs both parents in trying to parent this child when they are divorced.




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Any marriage can potentially fail. I just have a hard time believing that marriage with age differences fail at any significant rate higher than people who are closer in age. And even if that is the case, any Christain marriage is blessed by God and should be supported. That is too bad those marriages that you discussed didn't work, but if they got a child out of it, do they really regret it? I'm sure the fact that they now have a child was a major reason they decided to marry someone closer to their age. Having 1 biological child is a huge difference from having none.

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Feb 1st 2013 new

(Quote) Loretta-678584 said: I'm not offended. I get it. Happy hunting! I'm in my 40's no way around it. If men ...
(Quote) Loretta-678584 said:

I'm not offended. I get it. Happy hunting! I'm in my 40's no way around it. If men in their 40's still want kids then more power to them. Go get'em gents!

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wow!!! That was far too rational of an opinion for a woman to have!!!!! LOL!!!!

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Feb 1st 2013 new

(Quote) Marge-938695 said: Perhaps.But why do so many men over 50 immediately rule out women who already have childr...
(Quote) Marge-938695 said:

Perhaps.

But why do so many men over 50 immediately rule out women who already have children in favor of pursuing younger women who may or may not be interested in giving them a family?

That's another topic.

And I know the answer to my own question.

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I am sorry for your loss and that you had to raise kids on your own. But, I don't think you should be resentful towards men that may have passed you over. I imagine plenty of women would have some reservations of getting involved with a man with 5 kids of his own. That is a lot of extra responsibility to walk right into, fair or not. I hope your family and friends helped you raise your kids and they turned out well.


To answer your question, yes, it probably goes beyond fertility. Men are visual creatures. That is just the way it is. But things may be changing a bit... did you read all the posts about "cougars?"

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Feb 1st 2013 new

(Quote) Marge-938695 said: 45+
(Quote) Marge-938695 said:

45+

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Go Marge Baby Go - bugle call - CHARGE !!!! - EB

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Feb 1st 2013 new

(Quote) Patricia-29176 saidActually, I've found that many men age really poorly (especially after meeting several men this year...
(Quote) Patricia-29176 saidActually, I've found that many men age really poorly (especially after meeting several men this year ages 64-68 some of whom couldn't even keep up walking down a few blocks of city streets (and I had slowed down my pace) without getting out of breath and seeming like they might have a heart attack (lucky that I'm a physician!)). In fact, I have not met one man over the age of 63who seems to be in reasonably decent shape for his age - hopefully there are a few out there!

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Visit Kentucky and literally run w/ 65 - 75-yo men who exercise 5 or 6 days a week, and have to find younger women to keep up w/ them.

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