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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people 45+. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

The story of Abraham and Sarah is told in chapters 11-25 of the book of Genesis.
Learn More:Abraham & Sarah

Feb 1st 2013 new

(Quote) Patrick-341178 said: wow!!! That was far too rational of an opinion for a woman to have!!!!! LOL!!!!...
(Quote) Patrick-341178 said:




wow!!! That was far too rational of an opinion for a woman to have!!!!! LOL!!!!

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You might need a little help on the delivery here, Patrick. wink laughing laughing rolling eyes

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Feb 1st 2013 new

(Quote) Bernard-2709 said: Everyone has their own criteria,however, to call it creepy is a bit dramatic.My sister was happil...
(Quote) Bernard-2709 said:

Everyone has their own criteria,however, to call it creepy is a bit dramatic.My sister was happily married to to her husband who was 17 years older than her.She died of Cancer three years ago at almost 56 years old.He is still living.They were a good match and happy.I think for a woman who is in her twenties,5 to 10 years older maximum.Over 40 yrs old, it's a whole different scenario.Many men age really well.

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Different strokes for different folks (Sly & the Family Stone) comes to mind. cool

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Feb 1st 2013 new

(Quote) Patrick-341178 said: wow!!! That was far too rational of an opinion for a woman to have!!!!! LOL!!!!...
(Quote) Patrick-341178 said:




wow!!! That was far too rational of an opinion for a woman to have!!!!! LOL!!!!

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Patrick, you might want to keep in mind that although not everyone posts in the forums, many women (ones you may be interested in) read the forums, and putting LOL doesn't negate what you write.

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Feb 1st 2013 new

(Quote) Patrick-341178 said: Any marriage can potentially fail. I just have a hard time believing that marriage wit...
(Quote) Patrick-341178 said:

Any marriage can potentially fail. I just have a hard time believing that marriage with age differences fail at any significant rate higher than people who are closer in age. And even if that is the case, any Christain marriage is blessed by God and should be supported. That is too bad those marriages that you discussed didn't work, but if they got a child out of it, do they really regret it? I'm sure the fact that they now have a child was a major reason they decided to marry someone closer to their age. Having 1 biological child is a huge difference from having none.

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I didn't see anything in your OP about 'Christian Marriage'..Your suggestion was he should choose a younger woman for procreation.. There's not necesaarily anything Christian in that..Selfishness yes..

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Feb 1st 2013 new

(Quote) Patrick-341178 said: I am sorry for your loss and that you had to raise kids on your own. But, I don...
(Quote) Patrick-341178 said:





I am sorry for your loss and that you had to raise kids on your own. But, I don't think you should be resentful towards men that may have passed you over. I imagine plenty of women would have some reservations of getting involved with a man with 5 kids of his own. That is a lot of extra responsibility to walk right into, fair or not. I hope your family and friends helped you raise your kids and they turned out well.


To answer your question, yes, it probably goes beyond fertility. Men are visual creatures. That is just the way it is. But things may be changing a bit... did you read all the posts about "cougars?"

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I know Marge personally and she would not have hesitated a minute to marry a man with children at home.. Nor would any other woman I have met and I know hundreds of them from here.. What many of us have found is that what we would accept in a man, they would not accept in us..

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Feb 1st 2013 new

(Quote) Bernard-2709 said: Then you'll just have to go the other route I suppose twimg0-a.akamaihd.net.
(Quote) Bernard-2709 said:

Then you'll just have to go the other route I suppose twimg0-a.akamaihd.net

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You might note that I said I hadn't met any men over age 63 that were in reasonably good shape. Since I'm 61, I think a good match for me age-wise would be plus or minus 3 years (I used to say plus or minus 5 years, but have narrowed in because of aforesaid reason.) I don't think dating a gentleman 3 years younger would make one a cougar! rolling eyes

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Feb 1st 2013 new

(Quote) Patrick-341178 said: Any marriage can potentially fail. I just have a hard time believing that marriage wit...
(Quote) Patrick-341178 said:

Any marriage can potentially fail. I just have a hard time believing that marriage with age differences fail at any significant rate higher than people who are closer in age. And even if that is the case, any Christain marriage is blessed by God and should be supported. That is too bad those marriages that you discussed didn't work, but if they got a child out of it, do they really regret it? I'm sure the fact that they now have a child was a major reason they decided to marry someone closer to their age. Having 1 biological child is a huge difference from having none.

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Patrick, do you have any idea of what the consequences are for a child whose parents divorced at age 1 or 2 or 3??? A lot of these children (and this is documented) grow up having difficulty being in or committing to a relationship, let alone marriage. It impacts them for the rest of their lives. Children are not meant to be raised by one parent, that is why God created the system in which it takes a man and a woman to procreate and raise the child. And, usually, it is the woman (but not always) who ends up raising the child alone, generally at a lower socioeconomic status than if the parents had remained married (and this because many times the man will not pay his fair share of child support and also simply because it is more expensive to have 2 households than 1).

It sounds from your posting, that you think it's okay to have this marriage with a big age difference because the guy got a biological child out of it even though many, if not most, of these marriages end in divorce. Think about what you're saying! Getting a child out of a marriage is not the same as getting a house out of a marriage. A child is not a thing, it is a human being, a precious child of God. It is horrendous that there is such a high rate of divorce for regular marriages in this country, let alone, these huge age difference marriages. I have not seen one marriage with a large age difference (with or without children) last - not one! Now, I'm sure there are exceptions, but not many. And, I've also frequently seen older men who are divorced marrying much younger women, having another child when they are in their late 40's or 50's because the woman wants one, and then divorcing. I talked to one twice divorced gentleman who was about 65 who had a 6 year old from his second marriage. Will this father even see his child grow up - maybe? I really think you need to consider things from the viewpoint of how all of this will impact the child - not from the viewpoint of the older man wanting a biological child. As I said before, there are many children available for adoption. I wonder which God would prefer the older man do - marry someone much younger in order to have a biological child or marry someone they love and if no biological children appear to then adopt a child who has no parents?

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Feb 1st 2013 new

Re: Cougars

Younger men are less likely to have one foot in the grave.... mischievous and oftentimes are less judgmental about who a person SHOULD be and more interested in who she IS.

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Feb 1st 2013 new

(Quote) Bernard-2709 said: Everyone has their own criteria,however, to call it creepy is a bit dramatic.My sister was happil...
(Quote) Bernard-2709 said:

Everyone has their own criteria,however, to call it creepy is a bit dramatic.My sister was happily married to to her husband who was 17 years older than her.She died of Cancer three years ago at almost 56 years old.He is still living.They were a good match and happy.I think for a woman who is in her twenties,5 to 10 years older maximum.Over 40 yrs old, it's a whole different scenario.Many men age really well.

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Sorry I don't think it's a bit dramatic at all to call it creepy. It's the feeling I get and as I said that's me and may no be how others feel. We each have a right to our own preferences. I would also say some men do age well but aging well and appearances have nothing to do with it really. My life experience and the stage of life I'm in are something totally difference than someone who is over a decade and half older than me. That's a big gap there by it self.

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Feb 1st 2013 new

[quote]Ann-69118 said:

Sorry I don't think it's a bit dramatic at all to call it creepy. It's the feeling I get and as I said that's me and may no be how others feel. We each have a right to our own preferences. I would also say some men do age well but aging well and appearances have nothing to do with it really. My life experience and the stage of life I'm in are something totally difference than someone who is over a decade and half older than me. That's a big gap there by it self.

[/quote

Ann, in an earlier thread some months ago, I also said if felt creepy to me when men in their 70's viewed my profile. And, I also got a very negative response - saying I was overreacting, I think - from Jerry (the moderator). You, and, in fact, every man and woman on this site is entitled to their own feelings. It would be wise for anyone of the opposite sex not to discount someone's feelings (as many more people read these postings, than post, and you never know how that will impact your dating chances here.) I know that I do not like having my feelings discounted or told that it's too dramatic or that I'm overreacting, etc. To that I would say, baloney!(and now, I think I am showing my age as I'm not sure people say that anymore, but I didn't want to use foul language.)

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