(quote) Patrick-341178 said: I didnt say "that I wasted my time" on the dates. My point is that once you meet someone in person, things change. If you live locally, get together ASAP. Dont spend a bunch of time corresponding before you meet and raise expectations only to have things end after one date. That is all.
I know, I know, I know, Patrick, but I have found corresponding to be invaluable to not only getting to know how and what another person thinks but to "up dating" my own thinking and understanding. Prior to becoming a member of CatholicMatch.com a few months ago, I hadn't even touched a computer in several years and had never even considered meeting anyone on the internet. But, everything changed after I met a young, long distance couple who had met on CM.com and I became involved in their personal lives here in Memphis. What a joy that has been and it suddenly changed my thinking about everything I thought I ever believed. So I signed up and began corresponding with CM members all over this world. The learning curve was steep and it 's been a challenging mental 'boot camp' at times, but what I've learned from corresponding has been priceless. For one thing, if a woman is not willing or able to correspond with you, she probably won't have much of substance to share with you if and when you finally sit down with her for that proverbial cup of coffee. Then too, corresponding affords the opportunity to have multiple relationships simultaneously, providing a synergetic effect that actually boosts and enlivens the discernment process. If you're patient and earnestly apply your mind to corresponding, it's possible expectations at the first meeting and subsequent date(s) will be more reasonable and less subject to disappointment. I don't think it's ever beneficial to rush into meeting anyone..... even if they live across the street, let alone across state lines or even the oceans. Without weeks and even months of messaging , who knows what could be going on in her personal life that could give her a 'bad hair day'? And let's not forget that God takes his time in doing things and if you're not mentally prepared and in step with him, through prayer and all the other things we Catholics do, you probably won't be able to recognize any of the opportunities he's constantly sending you. I don't know, maybe we should start sending messages to God in a bottle and wait until someone in Australia responds? (Just joking.)