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A place to learn, mingle, and share

Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Red flags

Feb 2nd 2013 new

I thought this was an interesting article on red flags: artofmanliness.com

Though written for men, I think many apply to both genders. A few that stood out to me were 3,8,9,and 14. I think they each made good points about healthy relationships.

Anything that stood out to you or that you look for?

(I don't intend this thread to be a complaint thread. The article helped me clarify why certain things are red flags and also hit on a few I hadn't really considered. I'm curious what stands out to others as red flags and why.)

Feb 2nd 2013 new
That blog is actually really good to read. It's geared toward men, but it can be informative and entertaining for women too!
Feb 2nd 2013 new

(Quote) Amanda-920573 said: That blog is actually really good to read. It's geared toward men, but it can be informative and en...
(Quote) Amanda-920573 said: That blog is actually really good to read. It's geared toward men, but it can be informative and entertaining for women too!
--hide--


Agreed! I have some friends who often post article links. I've learned something from each one.

Feb 2nd 2013 new

I never thought about the flexiblility one that was a good nugget of wisdom and easy to identify I think. It can be draining to live with someone with rigid demands. Its important someone can compromise and go with the flow.

I've always been a fan of the way someone treats a waiter or just any random person kindness is a very underrated trait.

And yes gratitude was another favorite it keeps the spark alive in a relationship.

Lots of good wisdom thanks for sharing Sarah.

Feb 2nd 2013 new

(Quote) Sarah-901988 said: I thought this was an interesting article on red flags: artofmanliness.com.
(Quote) Sarah-901988 said:

I thought this was an interesting article on red flags: artofmanliness.com

Though written for men, I think many apply to both genders. A few that stood out to me were 3,8,9,and 14. I think they each made good points about healthy relationships.

Anything that stood out to you or that you look for?

(I don't intend this thread to be a complaint thread. The article helped me clarify why certain things are red flags and also hit on a few I hadn't really considered. I'm curious what stands out to others as red flags and why.)

--hide--



Sarah, this is an excellent article. Thank you for posting it. I hope you don't mind that I have listed the 14 red flags below for the sake of reference. Individually, each is concerning, but two are more scream volumes of... "BEWARE, WARNING." And, it is easy to see how these red flags could be used by both women and men. Thank you for finding and posting such an informative article. I'm sharing the article with my children. - Elizabeth

Below are some of the common red flags that researchers and therapists
recommend you look for in a relationship.

1. She’s a self-proclaimed “Drama Queen.”

2. You can’t stand any of her friends.

3. She says ALL her exes are jerks.

4. She’s a flake.

5. She treats waiters like crap.

6. She expects to be treated like a princess.

7. You argue all. the. time.

8. She gets angry or guilts you when you want to spend time with your friends.

9. She never apologizes or takes responsibility for bad behavior.

10. She has a bad relationship with her family.

11. She’s not flexible.

12. You don’t share any core values or life goals.

13. She’s violent.

14. She’s stingy with the appreciation.




Feb 2nd 2013 new
My father has often described me as "rigid." A woman I actually met in person, however, looked at that same personality trait and said to me, "One thing I like about you is that your rules are simple." I may not be flexible in many ways, but I am consistent and predictable, which is something that many women actually find attractive. When entering into a lifelong covenant with another human being, at least some measure of rigidity in the right areas is actually required.
Feb 2nd 2013 new

(Quote) Sarah-901988 said: I thought this was an interesting article on red flags: artofmanliness.com.
(Quote) Sarah-901988 said:

I thought this was an interesting article on red flags: artofmanliness.com

Though written for men, I think many apply to both genders. A few that stood out to me were 3,8,9,and 14. I think they each made good points about healthy relationships.

Anything that stood out to you or that you look for?

(I don't intend this thread to be a complaint thread. The article helped me clarify why certain things are red flags and also hit on a few I hadn't really considered. I'm curious what stands out to others as red flags and why.)

--hide--
Hi Sarah, amazingly accurate points IMHO.

Feb 2nd 2013 new
(Quote) Elizabeth-462557 said: Sarah, this is an excellent article. Thank you for posting it. I hope you don't mind that...
(Quote) Elizabeth-462557 said:




Sarah, this is an excellent article. Thank you for posting it. I hope you don't mind that I have listed the 14 red flags below for the sake of reference. Individually, each is concerning, but two are more scream volumes of... "BEWARE, WARNING." And, it is easy to see how these red flags could be used by both women and men. Thank you for finding and posting such an informative article. I'm sharing the article with my children. - Elizabeth



Below are some of the common red flags that researchers and therapists
recommend you look for in a relationship.



1. She’s a self-proclaimed “Drama Queen.”

2. You can’t stand any of her friends.



3. She says ALL her exes are jerks.



4. She’s a flake.



5. She treats waiters like crap.



6. She expects to be treated like a princess.



7. You argue all. the. time.



8. She gets angry or guilts you when you want to spend time with your friends.



9. She never apologizes or takes responsibility for bad behavior.



10. She has a bad relationship with her family.



11. She’s not flexible.



12. You don’t share any core values or life goals.



13. She’s violent.



14. She’s stingy with the appreciation.






--hide--


Wow...wish I had this list the last time I started down the road with someone. Could have saved a lot of drama on her part and aggida on my part. I'd score her admittedly about 5 out of the 14. Too much for me.
Feb 2nd 2013 new

(Quote) Sarah-901988 said: I thought this was an interesting article on red flags: artofmanliness.com.
(Quote) Sarah-901988 said:

I thought this was an interesting article on red flags: artofmanliness.com

Though written for men, I think many apply to both genders. A few that stood out to me were 3,8,9,and 14. I think they each made good points about healthy relationships.

Anything that stood out to you or that you look for?

(I don't intend this thread to be a complaint thread. The article helped me clarify why certain things are red flags and also hit on a few I hadn't really considered. I'm curious what stands out to others as red flags and why.)

--hide--


Very cool website, Sarah! I also read the article on breaking up. You're right! I think we women can learn alot from this, too. Chelle

Feb 2nd 2013 new

The only one I disagree with is #10: has a bad relationship with her family. This is no reason to dump someone: some families are pretty toxic, and this person may be the only normal one in the bunch.


I am always dismayed when I heard people say, "We had a fight" or "We had an argument". IMHO, mature people -- and you'd best not be in a relationship if you aren't mature -- do not fight or argue. They discuss.


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