Beyond the ring,There are items of clothing, pictures, memorabilia.,and Crazily enough the pillows on the bed. Another thing is the issue of mourning period, when to date, what not to say when not to talk about your deceased spouse I have found there are many facets of being a widower.
Before I address these issues, I agree with several that this discussion evokes much sadness.The ring, In my situation, I do not wear jewelry except for a watch and not at work.rings are are a hazard in my work, I used to take weeding ring off and put in pocket but was afraid i would some day lose it. The last few years My wife's fingers would swell and she could not wear hers.I keep our rings in a jewelry box.Crucifix is in my bedroom.
I donated my wife's clothes within a few months to our K of C auction and Catholic charities.It was hard to do but in my heart, I knew they would do more good donated to charity than sitting in closets.My daughter has uploaded many of our photo album pics to her Fb page. I have not taken down any pictures of her or her family from my walls also have not found any reason to remove figurines items from our travels or anything else at this point.It may sound crazy but I still wash and put back her pillows on the bed.
About the mourning period.My wife died 6 days after our 39th anniversary .I had been married 2/3 of my entire life. From my own experience I can say there is no arbitrary mourning period, I had a long discussion with my He told me not to go by timetables, that I would know in my heart when I was ready to move on and to pray about it.Three months after my died a good friend of mine lost his wife to cancer, she was bed ridden for a year. He started dating a lady at church a few months later and people thought it was scandalous. He told me they did not realize but for the past two years he had become her care taker instead of husband and was hurt by this. I told him I fully understood, Because , the last few years of our marriage,Connie was in the hospital many times, and I spent the night at the hospital just about every night she was there.
As far as not being the same person a year then two years later,I find that a valid statement.The first few months I was a mess, Only my faith. friends family and running a business kept me together.After that every month was new step. About at the 1 year mark, I came to the realization that I had been handed a new life, and since God gives us free will it is up to me to make it a full and faithful life, with God's grace and guidance, hopefully another gift from God to share my life with.
Lat but not least , the subject of honoring a deceased love one, which is really what this topic I is about. My mother always told me what Timothy said, You should honor people while they alive and be kind to them while they alive, do things for them while they are alive.As far as honoring my wife and being reminded of her, Every time I look at my daughter and new grand son i reminded of the love My wife and I shared. To me to honor her is to make sure my daughter and grand children know I am there for anything they need and I care for them deeply.