Faith Focused Dating. Create your Free Profile and meet your Match! Sign Up for Free

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

A place to learn, mingle, and share

This room is for those who have lost a spouse and need support or who can provide support to those who have.

Saint Paula is the patron saint of widows and Saint Stephen is the patron saint of deacons
Learn More: Saint Stephen and Saint Paula

Feb 26th 2013 new

highfive My son and his wife wear our rings now.

Feb 26th 2013 new

highfive My son and his wife wear our rings now.

Feb 26th 2013 new

Saving the rings for the kids is a great idea. Mine are still quite young so hopefully it will be a while before I pass them on. My ring is especially significant as it is also an heirloom from my wife's family. It was her grandfather's and is inscribed on the inside "Conn and Eimear, 16 June, 1928".

Feb 27th 2013 new
Kind of reminds me of the Holy Father taking off his ring tomorrow and crushing it.
Mar 4th 2013 new
We were married 42 years. My husband was sick for 4 years. It was downhill and no time to think. Most of the mourning and shock took place during that time. It was chaotic and frightening till the end. Reality set in after it was all over. Maybe six months later I removed my ring. It was a conscious effort to remind me it happened and not cling to the past. I still say we this and we that. Yes it is a lonely journey through grief but it must be traveled to come out of it and be yourself again having learned how to really love. We had many memories, good yes. It has been over two years. You will know when to remove the ring.
Mar 4th 2013 new
We were married 42 years. My husband was sick for 4 years. It was downhill and no time to think. Most of the mourning and shock took place during that time. It was chaotic and frightening till the end. Reality set in after it was all over. Maybe six months later I removed my ring. It was a conscious effort to remind me it happened and not cling to the past. I still say we this and we that. Yes it is a lonely journey through grief but it must be traveled to come out of it and be yourself again having learned how to really love. We had many memories, good yes. It has been over two years. You will know when to remove the ring.
Apr 15th 2013 new

(Quote) Peter-793888 said: Respectfully I have to disagree with anyone who says there is a recipee for grief. W...
(Quote) Peter-793888 said:


Respectfully I have to disagree with anyone who says there is a recipee for grief. What is wrong with finding comfort in wearing a ring? So what if it bothers someone else - if it brings YOU comfort then why stop? I know there were people who were deeply upset that it took me over a month to change the recording on MY answering machine because my late wife recorded it. So what, if it bothers you that much, then stop calling my house! Pretty simple, no? If you follow the argument that the earthly marriage is over, then why would anyone wear a wedding ring to the funeral, afterall the earthly marriage dies at the very instant that your spouse takes their last breath. So if it's OK to wear a ring 10 seconds, 10 minutes, 10 days after the death of the marriage, why is it not ok after x weeks?

I dear friend, and Nun was telling a group of us a story, and I think that a part of the story is very applicable to this discussion. I think the best answer to when, would be "Time will tell, only God knows!"


I do agree that wearing the ring is a symbol that your grief is still very raw, and needs maturing, and as such you're not ready to start dating. That said I'm sure most people would run the other way if you were wearing a wedding ring on a date.

--hide--
Peter, I am sorry for your loss. In no way do I believe in a recipe for grief. I tell people daily in my job and have always believed that. I was just trying to help because I was having a hard time with it and wondering about it myself. Grief has no timeline and everyone is different. Don't push yourself be good to yourself and love yourself. I visit our rings once in a while. I still have photos up and I am thinking how painful it will be when I have to move those around. If I ever do. After my father's death my mother kept her rings on til her death 15 years later. It was a comfort to wear them but they became a crutch for me I think, so I took them off. And I miss them and still feel my finger is too empty. In fact I don't come into this room as much as maybe I "should" because it is too painful. God bless. Jane Praying hug

Apr 16th 2013 new
I think my rings are an metaphor for where I am in my journey. Sometimes I wear them, sometimes not. At first I was wearing mine and his. I found his were way too big for my fingers and when I wore them on a chain, they were too heavy. So I put his away. (I typically don't wear jewelry, except the rings.) After a while it occurred to me that wearing mine allowed me to deny at times that he was gone. And wanting to face reality, that just wasn't helping, so I took mine off. I missed them but thought this might help me so I left them off for a while. And that really did work. Before too long I found myself wanting them back, this time as a reminder of Ben. Thirty-seven years is a long time and no rings just felt too sad. So now I wear them when I want to, but feel I can take them off if I'd like, too. I have to admit they're on more than off but maybe over time that will change again(and again and again). :-)
Apr 16th 2013 new
I think my rings are an metaphor for where I am in my journey. Sometimes I wear them, sometimes not. At first I was wearing mine and his. I found his were way too big for my fingers and when I wore them on a chain, they were too heavy. So I put his away. (I typically don't wear jewelry, except the rings.) After a while it occurred to me that wearing mine allowed me to deny at times that he was gone. And wanting to face reality, that just wasn't helping, so I took mine off. I missed them but thought this might help me so I left them off for a while. And that really did work. Before too long I found myself wanting them back, this time as a reminder of Ben. Thirty-seven years is a long time and no rings just felt too sad. So now I wear them when I want to, but feel I can take them off if I'd like, too. I have to admit they're on more than off but maybe over time that will change again(and again and again). :-)
May 1st 2013 new

My wife passed away 3 years ago. I first took the ring off about 5 months after she died but felt gulity and put it back on. I took it off and on for a while but have decided to leave it on. I feel more comfortable and probably wouldn't get married again at my age.
also, legally we aren't married but I had a happy marriage and a wonderful wife so in my heart I like to feel I am still with her. I wear the one she gave me on my finger and the one I gave her on my scapula around my neck.
My sons are grown and haven't said anything but I think they appreciate this demonstation of my love.
As catholics, we believe we will met again in heaven. So the marriage will continue.
Let's pray for each other,
bill

Posts 51 - 60 of 112